BeatRoute Magazine B.C. print e-edition - May 2016

VANPOOPER rating the best (and worst) of Vancouver’s public toilets
by Michelle Hanley
Café Deux Soleils YVR Airport Funky Winker Beans
Café Deux Soleils is a popular eatery on Commercial Drive. It’s got
a great veggie burger and a nice little patio that is the perfect spot for
watching patchouli scented and dreadlocked white people hula hooping
on the sidewalk outside. The last time I was here I watched a dude
simultaneously smoke a joint while drinking from a carton of almond
milk. It was amazing and also so terrible.
The bathrooms here once had a reputation of being some of the
grimiest and most graffitied in the city, but no longer. The recent
renovations have them sparkling! It’s consistently clean and always well
stocked. There are three different bathrooms so there’s never a wait. Café
Deux Soleils? More like Café Poo Soleils! Because it is a great place to poo.
YVR is one of the country’s busiest airports. It is also home to what is
said to be one of the nicest bathrooms in Canada. It has been shortlisted
for the Canadian bathroom awards (how do I get on the panel for that?)
and has been recommended to me numerous times.
Maybe I went to the wrong bathroom though because I was terribly
disappointed. The bathrooms smelled so bad! A terrible combination of
desperate poops held in after long plane rides and gross e-cigs, confirmed
by the empty e-cig packages on the ground of the bathroom stall. It was
poorly maintained and cluttered. It did however have a fun vending
machine complete with ”rude rhino” brand Canadian flag temporary
tattoos. Airports are weird.
Funky Winker Beans is a cool and grimy dive bar that has great karaoke
and questionable hot dogs. I like to come here to increase my punk
credibility and drink very, very cheap beers. It also has the best name of
any bar in the whole city.
The bathroom at Funky’s is not bad at all! It is surprisingly well lit,
perfect for mirror selfies. It smelled shockingly pleasant and its walls were
covered in dainty floral tiles, reminiscent of my sweet grandmother’s
bathroom. It was relatively clean and well stocked despite it being such a
dive. Is the wonderful state of the bathroom at Funky Winker Beans proof
of further gentrification in the DTES? Either way, it makes for a great place
to poop.
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APHELION: DARK WAVE + GOTH + INDUSTRIAL
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HOSEHEAD RECS 5TH ANNIVERSARY: THE MANDATES (AB) +
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THE DARK EIGHTIES: CULT 80S HITS FOR DANCING
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DRAB MAJESTY (LA) with GUESTS
CASEY WEI’S ART ROCK
RENT CHEQUE AMATEUR STRIP NIGHT
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TUES MAY 3
WEDS MAY 4
THURS MAY 5
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SAT MAY 7
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WEDS MAY 11
THURS MAY 12
FRI MAY 13
SAT MAY 14
SUN MAY 15
FRI MAY 20
SAT MAY 21
SUN MAY 22
TUES MAY 24
WEDS MAY 25
THURS MAY 26
FRI MAY 27
SAT MAY 28
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