BeatRoute Magazine B.C. print e-edition - May 2016

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VANPOOPER rating the best (and worst) of Vancouver’s public toilets by Michelle Hanley Café Deux Soleils YVR Airport Funky Winker Beans Café Deux Soleils is a popular eatery on Commercial Drive. It’s got a great veggie burger and a nice little patio that is the perfect spot for watching patchouli scented and dreadlocked white people hula hooping on the sidewalk outside. The last time I was here I watched a dude simultaneously smoke a joint while drinking from a carton of almond milk. It was amazing and also so terrible. The bathrooms here once had a reputation of being some of the grimiest and most graffitied in the city, but no longer. The recent renovations have them sparkling! It’s consistently clean and always well stocked. There are three different bathrooms so there’s never a wait. Café Deux Soleils? More like Café Poo Soleils! Because it is a great place to poo. YVR is one of the country’s busiest airports. It is also home to what is said to be one of the nicest bathrooms in Canada. It has been shortlisted for the Canadian bathroom awards (how do I get on the panel for that?) and has been recommended to me numerous times. <strong>May</strong>be I went to the wrong bathroom though because I was terribly disappointed. The bathrooms smelled so bad! A terrible combination of desperate poops held in after long plane rides and gross e-cigs, confirmed by the empty e-cig packages on the ground of the bathroom stall. It was poorly maintained and cluttered. It did however have a fun vending machine complete with ”rude rhino” brand Canadian flag temporary tattoos. Airports are weird. Funky Winker Beans is a cool and grimy dive bar that has great karaoke and questionable hot dogs. I like to come here to increase my punk credibility and drink very, very cheap beers. It also has the best name of any bar in the whole city. The bathroom at Funky’s is not bad at all! It is surprisingly well lit, perfect for mirror selfies. It smelled shockingly pleasant and its walls were covered in dainty floral tiles, reminiscent of my sweet grandmother’s bathroom. It was relatively clean and well stocked despite it being such a dive. Is the wonderful state of the bathroom at Funky Winker Beans proof of further gentrification in the DTES? Either way, it makes for a great place to poop. VIVA LAS VEGAS THEME KARAOKE BLANKET FORT STORYTIME: COMEDIC STORIES IN A BLANKET FORT! LOST LOVE (MONTREAL) with CONTRA CODE + DJ RUSSIAN TIM APHELION: DARK WAVE + GOTH + INDUSTRIAL PIGGY (FAREWELL SHOW) + SEXY DECOY (RELEASE) with SPRING BREAKS + SCOTTY P & THE VIRGINS HOSEHEAD RECS 5TH ANNIVERSARY: THE MANDATES (AB) + FASHIONISM + OUTTACONTROLLER + STRESS EATING BLACK SABBITCH + GUESTS JOHNNY 2 FINGERS & THE DEFORMITIES with COUSIN ARBY + THE LOW DOWN MAMAS + TANGEAN WALL HIVE MIND with OIL THIEF + J.S. AURELIUS + SUNSTROKE MILITIA RABIT with BRUTES + MOURNING COUP + RIDYLAN + BABY BLUE THE DARK EIGHTIES: CULT 80S HITS FOR DANCING MAGRUDERGRIND (NYC) + YAUTJA (TN) + OGROEM + WTCHDR ANION with THE WEIR + WOMANKIND + CAREER OPPORTUNITIES COLBY MORGAN & THE CATASTROPHES with THE BEST REVENGE + ALL HANDS ON JANE + THE BROKEN HANDS DRAB MAJESTY (LA) with GUESTS CASEY WEI’S ART ROCK RENT CHEQUE AMATEUR STRIP NIGHT DEVIL IN THE WOOD SHACK + THE STAGGERS & JAGGS + SKUM SHINE THE EAST VAN NINETIES PARTY with NIKKI NEVVER + VANESSA TURNER KOBAN + SUMMERING + SOFT HAZE + MOSFETT + MILK + CHEAP HIGH SUN MAY 1 TUES MAY 3 WEDS MAY 4 THURS MAY 5 FRI MAY 6 SAT MAY 7 TUES MAY 10 WEDS MAY 11 THURS MAY 12 FRI MAY 13 SAT MAY 14 SUN MAY 15 FRI MAY 20 SAT MAY 21 SUN MAY 22 TUES MAY 24 WEDS MAY 25 THURS MAY 26 FRI MAY 27 SAT MAY 28 A S T O R I A KARAOKE WITH FREE POOL EVERY MONDAY NIGHT! CHECK OUT OUR NEW KITCHEN, ASTORIA EATS! INSTAGRAM: THEASTORIAEASTVAN TWITTER: @ASTORIA25 FACEBOOK: ASTORIA HASTINGS
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BeatRoute Magazine B.C. print e-edition - May 2016

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