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V. Deciding He/She is The One<br />
A. Speak to People<br />
Of course the decision whether you want to<br />
marry a person should always be yours and no one else’s.<br />
However, oftentimes it is appropriate and helpful to<br />
speak to your friends and family. They do not make the<br />
decision for you, but if there are certain things that<br />
bother you, then they may help guide you to a decision.<br />
Marriage is a major commitment, so consult with your<br />
family and friends to help you determine if the person is<br />
the right choice.<br />
B. Compromising<br />
One of the most important principles in a<br />
marriage is learning how to compromise. It is also likely<br />
the most difficult elements to accomplish. A boy comes<br />
from one family and brings his customs with him, while<br />
the girl comes from a different family and brings her<br />
traditions. Oftentimes, neither one wants to relinquish<br />
his/her practice. These may go beyond halachik areas<br />
and seem trivial; nevertheless, these customs must be<br />
discussed and compromises reached<br />
The most basic and fundamental element to<br />
compromising is communication. As long as you<br />
communicate with each other, you will be able to<br />
compromise. He or she will be better able to understand<br />
what is most important to the other person and what<br />
needs to be accomplished in order to make the situation<br />
most agreeable to each individual.<br />
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