Dating Pamphlet edited (1) (Autosaved)

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C. Most Important Part of Your Decision When deciding if he or she is the right person, ask yourself: “Do I have fun with him/her? Do I enjoy talking and spending time with this person? Do I look forward to being with him/her all day or all week?” These are important questions to consider, as they get at the crux of how you feel about the person and whether you desire to spend your life with him/her. As important as it is to meld philosophically and spiritually, it is just as critical to feel an attraction both physically and emotionally, having a strong connection and feeling that your life will not be complete without this person, that your day automatically becomes better when you see or talk to him/her. Looks are also extremely important. Although we should not consider this a fundamental issue, the reality is that you should marry someone who you are attracted to. Looks can always change but when going into marriage you need to be excited by his/her looks and have an attraction to him/her. 21
VI. Getting Engaged A. Making a Budget It is imperative that you make a budget for marriage. You and your ‘spouse-to-be’ should discuss openly plans and goals for employment, school, learning, etc. This discussion should take place before engagement to ensure that you have common goals and are both willing to compromise on plans, if necessary, for example, delaying school and working to earn a living to support you and your spouse while he/she continues to pursue a degree. The majority of arguments among married people revolve around income and money. Avoid them by discussing the matter. For a copy of a sample budget please see Chapter VII. B. The Bracelet It is customary for some to first buy the girl a bracelet when you become engaged. The price for the bracelet may vary from $450 – $900. This is not a requirement, rather merely a custom. Others may present this gift in the yichud room. There is no pressure to follow either of these practices; this should be a joint decision between you and your bride-to-be. C. The Ring The engagement ring, on average, should cost approximately 2 and one-half months’ salary. This is just a guideline, and, of course, the boy should determine what he can afford to pay. This two and one-half months’ salary rule only really applies to someone who has been working for some time, not to someone who recently just began employment. Nevertheless, a person may expect 22
Page 2 and 3: I. Deciding You Are Ready to Date:
Page 4 and 5: or in a learning program and is clo
Page 6 and 7: includes selecting healthy food cho
Page 8 and 9: Here is a sample resume: בסײד N
Page 10 and 11: The most common being to meet with
Page 12 and 13: significant specifications; persona
Page 14 and 15: For a girl: On a girl’s first dat
Page 16 and 17: sit, you should consult with the gi
Page 18 and 19: he should borrow or rent a car. One
Page 20 and 21: D. Keeping Halacha During the datin
Page 24 and 25: to spend anywhere between $2,000 -
Page 26 and 27: Spending Plan: PROJECTED MONTHLY IN

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