Agony and Ecstasy

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to establish the new Jerusalem, and Buddhists aspire to be born
again when Maitri Bodhisatta, will usher in his kingdom of love—
thereby turning away from the teachings of Jesus and of Gotama
the Buddha—so each individual agitation in search of an ideal is a
turning away from the truth which is here and now. And the truth
is that the mind is searching, is restless, is agitated.
Now, if the mind, instead of running away from the truth by
trying to escape into an ideal, just sees the fact of its own restlessness
without condemnation, without doing anything about it, it
will not be searching for a possible escape into an ideal of peace,
but it will understand that this agitation is just the wish to escape,
to run away from what is, in an effort to become the ideal. In
that understanding—that a search for an ideal is not a search for
truth—in that direct understanding all search will naturally cease,
all agitation will come to a natural end, without suppression or sublimation
which are further ideals and agitation. In that cessation of
unrest there will be a natural peace, which is not made by mind in
search of an ideal, and which, therefore, is unconditioned, without
opposition, without desire, without conflict.
Worry (kukkucca) on the other hand does not project itself into
an ideal future, but brings about remorse over unskilful acts done
in the past, or over so-called sinful neglect. Thus it is repentence,
regret, producing a displeased state of mind. “Because we cannot
undo evil done, or do the good left undone, therefore the reproach
of the mind is unskilful, because it scales and scars the mind, as the
point of an awl does a metal bowl” (Atthasālinī iii. 2.2.).
It will be seen that this mental factor (cetasikā) arises as an
after-thought of scruple; but, therefore, it should not be confused
with scrupulosity or conscientiousness (hiri). Neither should it be
mistaken for a sense of responsibility, as this last one is a sense of
liability that much in the future depends on a present action, while
worry (kukkucca) is about an action in the past which cannot be
recalled. Fretting over the past is thus not only useless in itself, but