Agony and Ecstasy

35
In a doubting mind the various views are entangled and the mind
is confused. Any action taken in such a bewildered state of mind
can only complicate matters for there can be no clear understanding
and hence no free and independent action.
It is not a question or a problem how to get rid of doubt, for such
a question merely betrays an anxiety to escape from the problem. It
is this anxiety for solving the problem which prevents its solution.
Facing the issue, there must be an undisturbed quiet to contemplate
the issue, for it is not the truth or untruth of somebody’s statement
which has to be investigated, but the fact of my mind being in doubt,
which is the truth. When I see my doubt as a refusal to be open,
then there is no further search for certainty, but I begin to see what
is, setting aside what I might think or not think that should be done.
In this direct view with an unconditioned mind, without searching
for a solution or an ideal, there is a calm sensitivity without plan or
purpose, in which there is an immediate contact of clear perception,
in which there is no doubt and hence no choice and from which
direct action flows without indecision, perplexity, fear or conflict.
Still, there is a way of certainty which is not of achievement. In
Buddhism, at every crucial moment, can be discerned an approach
of negative thinking. One may not be certain of the meaning and
contents of the truth, because the truth as an abstract concept has
no relationship with actuality; it is not an object of knowledge.
But a falsehood can be known immediately. And on this basis of
knowing the false as false, a dismissal of the false is possible. When,
however, a disinclination to believe is replaced by an inclination
to disbelieve, there remains a mental alertness, which is far more
promising than mere logical deductions. Because in such mental
alertness lies the germ of intuition which is understanding not come
through the senses. It is a direct experience, which is neither sensed
nor perceived, which is not conceived or thought about, but which
is an immediate realisation, holding good only for that moment.