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asic respect that any human being deserves became more widespread, then perhaps we would not
witness the awful cases of sexual harassment that we have heard of in the Muslim world. If we were
true to our moral code of respect for the inviolability of women’s dignity, then we would not violate
their dignity when they are strangers to us. Women in the Muslim world are the ones who will raise us
all, if given the chance.
What a comedy of errors it becomes when some of our Muslim brethren deprive their women of an
education. Do they not see that these are the very women who will be raising their children? Do they
not realize that an uneducated mother, wife, or daughter becomes an even greater burden because of
the transmission of ignorance from one generation to the next? Do they not realize that all the women
around our Prophet were strong, bold, determined women who were given the greatest respect by
those around them?
Saif, I want you to see that there is nothing written in stone that puts Muslim women on a rung far
below men. These are simply typical practices of patriarchal societies. Islam has no reason to
disadvantage women. Every element of women’s place in traditional Muslim societies, such as the
veil, or a lack of mobility, or restrictions on work and education, has its roots not in Islamic doctrine,
but in the fear of men that they will not be able to control their women. It is also the fear that their
women will prove to be more disciplined, more focused, more hardworking, and ultimately more
successful than they are. This is where I see the real problem in our Muslim societies. The fear that
we men have of being overtaken by our women.
This is something that we, you and I and others, need to become aware of and work to resolve. We
men are the ones who need to push aside the typical stereotypes that we have inherited and not
examined. It is up to those with the power to hold people back through legal, financial, and political
means to question their assumptions about their fellow human beings. And if men assume the worst of
their women, perhaps it says more about men and their view of the world.
Here is a question for you that will show you the power of imagination and empathy. How would
you feel if I decided to marry you off at this age and send you out into the world to find a job, and
earn a living? You might think this a little unfair. You haven’t finished school yet. What are the
chances you might find a job? Or that this job is actually well paying, given that your education is
incomplete?
You would presumably like to have some input into this decision. In fact, you would probably run
off to your grandparents and tell them that I had lost my mind.
Now imagine that you have a younger sister—say thirteen years old. What if I decided one day to
send her off to marry a man much older than she was? I would tell you that she did not need to finish
school, as her new husband would take care of all her needs. He would clothe her and feed her. All
she needed to do was take care of the house—cleaning, cooking, perhaps decorating—and have
babies. I would tell you that this was the end of the road for her. She would not be a burden to me
anymore.
You would probably punch me and then run off to your grandparents again. Just as you would not