Another Place at the Table Kerri Walker 54 • Winter <strong>December</strong> <strong>2015</strong><strong>2015</strong>/<strong>January</strong> <strong>2016</strong>
Scott and April Selman found a new calling when they discovered the great needs of foster care in Mississippi. The Selmans have four adult biological children, three adopted children, and currently two foster children. Two of their children were adopted through foster care, and one was adopted internationally. When their four biological children began transitioning into adulthood, the Selmans began to wonder what was next. “We started hearing about the needs of foster care,” said April. “We listened to a sermon series by David Platt on the book of James. He talked about how his church in Alabama was basically emptying the foster care system. They were licensing families in their church to become foster families, and we started thinking that was something we could do. James 1:27 calls us to care for orphans and widows. meal that day and they will have clothes to wear and they will be protected and safe. It’s a big change.” This healing brings joy into the Selmans’ hearts. April said, “We’ve had kids come through who really had no idea how to give or receive affection, and we see that slowly start to change. All kids crave love–they need it. It’s incredible. I never expected to be able to witness that. You get so much joy out of seeing that healing take place.” “The ultimate goal is for the kids to gain the ability to become functioning adults—to break the cycle and to have the ability to come to know about God’s love,” continued Selman. “A lot of kids come in and don’t know the first Bible story and have never set foot in a church, which is unfathomable with us living in the bible belt. It really happens, and it’s great to see them learn about the Bible and God’s We got started. It’s our next step.” love. They become different people.” The Selmans have cared for several “One day after supper, we had a child children placed in foster care throughout who asked, ‘How do y’all always have recent years. “Group homes are not the food?’ I asked, ‘What do you mean?’ best solution in my opinion, and that’s “Once our eyes are open to the need, The child said, ‘Well at my house we don’t where a lot of kids end up,” said April. we are commanded to respond.” always have food, and we’re hungry. Y’all “I think that giving kids a chance to see a always have food,’” April recalls. “This –Scott Selman functioning, healthy family is way more child was trying to figure out how we preferable. It also brings you a lot of joy to see them heal and grow could make that happen, and it kills your heart when you hear a kid and start to flourish. There are kids every week that need a place to say that. Here in Brandon, Mississippi, there’s a kid who is hungry. sleep. We’re a very affluent society, and a lot of us have extra bedrooms. That seems crazy to us. There shouldn’t be a kid who is hungry when Why not meld kids who need a place with us who have extra space? we all have so much to give.” I think God calls the church to take care of vulnerable children and “It’s bittersweet when a child goes back to his or her family people. You just don’t get much more vulnerable than a kid in foster because you do get attached and learn to love them,” said April. care who doesn’t have the support of his or her biological family.” “In some cases, you can still have contact and in some cases you can’t. Becoming a foster parent is not without its challenges. “Kids who You just have to pray that you’ve done a little bit of good for them come from traumatic backgrounds have many different behaviors than while they were with you. That’s the number one thing that people our biological children did,” said April. “The biggest challenge is say to me: ‘Oh, I could never foster because I would get attached.’ learning how trauma affects children and how to best help them heal.” You do get attached. But fostering isn’t supposed to be about the Despite the challenges, the Selmans have seen a lot of healing in adults. It’s about the kids. If everyone decided they couldn’t do it their home. “It really is amazing to see a child that comes into your because they would get attached, then we would just have group home withdrawn, introverted, closed off from building relationships, homes filled to the brims because kids have to have somewhere to and completely at a loss for how to function, go through a complete go and somebody to take care of them.” transformation—to laughing, telling jokes, smiling, and wanting hugs. “I think it’s good when you can step in and be a safety net for a To go from almost being expelled at school to being a great student family and give the parents time to stabilize so they can get their kids within a short period of time. The kids learn how to feel safe and back,” said April. “That’s good because kids should be with their how to count on people when they’ve never been able to count on families. That’s the ideal solution. It’s bittersweet because you miss someone before. They learn how to trust that they will have another them and think about them, but if their parents are able to get things <strong>Hometown</strong> <strong>Rankin</strong> • 55
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