Chapter 3: Values and Morals:Guidelines for living - Psychological ...
Chapter 3: Values and Morals:Guidelines for living - Psychological ...
Chapter 3: Values and Morals:Guidelines for living - Psychological ...
You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles
YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.
Thus, self-help is not just <strong>for</strong> overcoming problems; it also involves<br />
learning to become what you truly value, achieving your greatest<br />
potential. That is why your values <strong>and</strong> strengths should be considered<br />
along with your problems. For every fault or weakness you want to<br />
lose, you have a valuable strength to gain; <strong>for</strong> every crude emotion to<br />
control, you have an opposing good feeling to experience; <strong>for</strong> every<br />
awkwardness, a helpful skill to acquire; <strong>for</strong> every denial, a truth to be<br />
found. Optimally, you will identify your problems, as in chapter 2, but<br />
also decide on lofty goals that are worthy of your life. I would like to<br />
help you find out where you truly want to go. Then, I hope you <strong>and</strong> I<br />
become sufficiently discontent with our shortcomings <strong>and</strong> dedicated to<br />
our highest goals so that we are motivated to achieve our greatest<br />
potential. Trying to be good is important, perhaps more important<br />
than solving personal problems. Both are self-help.<br />
Moral development teachers often say that becoming moral<br />
requires enough emotional development to feel guilty when we do<br />
wrong, enough social development to accept our responsibility <strong>for</strong><br />
behaving in agreed upon ways towards our group, <strong>and</strong> enough<br />
cognitive development to be able to place ourselves in another<br />
person's shoes. But just because you develop some of these qualities,<br />
it doesn't guarantee that you will develop a wise <strong>and</strong> effective<br />
philosophy of life.<br />
As Steven Covey (1992), the author of The Seven Habits of Highly<br />
Effective People, points out, many people set goals <strong>and</strong> strive <strong>for</strong> years<br />
to achieve one after another, only to discover when they get to the<br />
end goals that they didn't want to go there. He says, "no one on their<br />
death bed ever complains that they should have spent more time in<br />
the office." In a new book, First Things First, Covey (1994) says<br />
everyone <strong>and</strong> every family (<strong>and</strong> every organization, every nation, etc.)<br />
should have a well thought out "Mission Statement," a set of values, or<br />
a guiding philosophy of life. At the end of life, intimate relationships<br />
<strong>and</strong> how you have dealt with others are the things that count. I<br />
recommend his books.<br />
Are we Americans becoming more moral? Perhaps in some ways.<br />
Reportedly, more <strong>and</strong> more people are volunteering to help the poor,<br />
the sick, <strong>and</strong> the elderly. For the first 80 years of this century, US<br />
citizens have gradually paid more taxes (that is doing good!) but more<br />
recently political conservatives have been encouraging us to hate<br />
taxes. In addition, there is a lot of evidence we are backsliding<br />
morally, e.g. a few years ago 9 out of 10 defense contractors were<br />
under criminal investigation. In 1990, when tax payers were required<br />
to give the Social Security numbers <strong>for</strong> every dependent, seven million<br />
names disappeared! More evidence of backsliding:<br />
Statement<br />
"Yes" in<br />
1965<br />
"Yes" in<br />
1990<br />
Financial success is very important to me. 25% 75%<br />
3