Marriage - A Form of Ibadah

in a situation where they be so irresponsible and foolish as to refuse
every good, pious choice of their parents, and insist on marrying some
blatantly sinful person then, coupled with gentle, loving and tactful
persuasion, resort to du`\', for All\h I has full control over all
situations. One must never get hysterical or forceful, or even deaf to
the child’s talk, as this has adverse effects. One must relate the benefits
of marrying a good person in a caring, concerned way explaining that
they will also be the ones to affect their children. Moreover, it will
ensure no hatred arises in the parents’ hearts, nor the children’s.
VIEWING A POSSIBLE MATCH
It is advisable for the possible match to meet each other with the
consent and guidance of parents. Private meetings and all forms of
communication (be it by email, phone calls or text-messaging, or by
anything else that comes along) where they are alone/unsupervised is
not permissible and is extremely sinful.
This one meeting is encouraged by Ras[lull\h r. Its benefit is that what
each person has so far heard of the other based on gossip or reports
founded on biased opinions can now be verified or otherwise by the
couple themselves. Inclinations and perceptions of people vary
greatly, thus a first-hand view and questioning allows a more truthful
and open decision from both parties. This will minimise the chance of
hidden problems turning up in future.
When considering a match, consider the following;
• The prospective partner’s piety and character must be considered
in both boy and girl. Additionally, girls should also possess the
ability to manage the house etc, and boys should have skills such as
responsibility, ability to provide maintenance, etc.
• Preferably the boy should be a year to four years senior to the girl.
Both the boy and girl’s being of the same marital status (which
includes virginity) is a major factor of compatibility.
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