WTF.BOOK.FINAL4

Everywhere I look for fantasies to justify why I can't receive,
I now destroy and uncreate. POD POC.
And my conclusion was that I was limited, not good enough, and wrong. (Even being
the wonderful person I always knew I was and even living the bold and different way I
was living). The energy I was entrenched in from who knows how far back felt like an
endless Mobius strip of having and losing, losing and having. With Access
Consciousness ® it was as if I suddenly had access to a Penthouse on the 30th floor—
and I realized that I had been living in a 4th floor studio all this time.
I saw that I had created such a perfect fantasy of what a princess should look like,
should have, should be and should do that Walt Disney himself would've wanted to
shake my hand. And now it was very clear, too, that there was no way I could have it!
Ouch! Talk about painful. The reason I could never attain it wasn’t because I didn’t
deserve it or want it; it was because it wasn’t real. However, the moment I was willing to
actually see that in total allowance with no judgment, I was set free! I could sit back and
see the whole fantasy falling apart into pieces that were actually re-creating themselves
into my next adventure, as I watched.
Once I had that awareness, I didn’t waste another moment. I saw the lie of the fantasy.
So, I went for it---I shut my back door and took away that escape route I’d always relied
on. (However, mind you, I still wanted the image of the princess lifestyle. I hadn’t quite
let that desire go.)
That was the beginning of my new life. I had found my language and it had given me
clarity, where before it was only a glimpse of a blurring knowing off in the distance. As
the pieces came together, the words followed. I was now able to facilitate the knowing I
always had with other people.
If someone would have asked me then, “Barbra, what do want to get out of Access?
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