Magazine disruption

HERCANBERRA.COM.AU
“I HAVE A HUGE APPRECIATION FOR
ALL THE MOTHERS OUT THERE WHO
HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS.
I THINK IT IS WAY HARDER THAN
THEY SEEM TO MAKE IT LOOK.”
He also feels a lack of support from his own parents.
“They like that I’m with my daughter, but still hold
onto an antiquated belief that the ‘man’ should be
the one to work while the ‘woman’ stays home with
the child.”
Professor Strazdin notes that in Scandinavian
countries—where fathers have access to substantive
paternity leave—it is far more accepted to see men in
nurturing roles.
Patrick said he often felt isolated at home, but some of
this was associated with relocating cities and having
to start over in new social groups.
“In Canberra I had a network of family and friends,
and my mates from school had kids so we would
catch up.”
Patrick also relied on the Facebook group Canberra
Dads for information and support and similarly uses
a medical partner's Facebook page “for all us blokes
with doctor wives.”
Nikolai says the bulk of his friends are not quite at
the stage of having kids. So he saves his socialising for
weekends or after the kids are in bed.
He sees a lot to love about his current situation.
“We never have to contend with the rat race. We get
to spend lots of time with our kids which is a massive
luxury not every parent gets—especially dads.”
But there is a nagging ambition he holds.
While Kirra stresses how integral Nikolai has been
to getting Capital Hydrotherapy to where it is now,
Nikolai wants to succeed on his own terms.
“I don't feel I've really had a personal success yet, and
I don't want to die wondering what could have been.
Either way, whatever I decide will be a while away,
most likely once the kids are in school.”
Similarly, Patrick is aware that it will be more
difficult for him to rejoin the workforce after a
substantial break.
“I have a huge appreciation for all the mothers out
there who have been doing this for years. I think it is
way harder than they seem to make it look.”
Whatever the hardships, the three dads say their
experience has been overwhelmingly positive.
So much so that none of the families have ruled out
more babies. •
PAGE 110