Magazine disruption

HERCANBERRA.COM.AU
“After marrying, many women stopped
working to focus on raising a family.
Now women are having babies later
in life, when we’ve established good
careers, friendships, routines—so it
could be one of the reasons why it feels
like it takes longer to adjust.”
New mum Javier Steel admits she
set “ridiculously high standards” for
herself before the birth of her baby
girl, Odessa.
“I thought that I could still ‘do it all’,
despite having a baby,” Javier says.
“I would work, create, socialise,
travel—I wouldn’t use motherhood
as an excuse for not doing things. I
guess I thought that I’d be really good
at motherhood and that I’d magically
have these maternal instincts that
would kick in and make me some kind
of Nigella-esque domestic goddess who
was an amazing, effortless, chic mum.
But once Odessa was born I [felt I]
had lost my identity.
"I was no longer Javier, Creative
Director, who had something to show
for all of my hard work. I was suddenly
a mum and at the end of each day,
my husband would come home and
ask me what I did. I would tell him,
‘the same as yesterday—my life is like
Groundhog Day.’ Our relationship
dynamics changed: I was almost
resentful of him because he got to leave
the house, go to work, talk to people,
make money—achieve things. I didn’t
feel fulfilled or challenged, I had no
creative outlet, I missed my friends and
I missed the freedom of being able to
leave the house without having to plan
hours in advance.”
Javier says she realised that you can
still “have it all,” just perhaps not all
at once.
“I think you just need to learn that you
can have/do all the things, but that
you might have to wait. If nothing else,
motherhood teaches you patience,”
she says.
“I guess that I wish that people would
be more ‘real’ about what it’s like to
become a mother. I [also] wish I knew
that it would pass and that it would get
better every day. Being a mother would
no longer be a burden, it would be
an honour.”
Though the online world may have
created extra anxiety for new parents,
it is also responsible for some positive
change—we now have access to
more support than ever before, with
"I THOUGHT THAT
I’D BE REALLY GOOD
AT MOTHERHOOD
AND THAT I’D
MAGICALLY HAVE
THESE MATERNAL
INSTINCTS THAT
WOULD KICK IN."
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