Magazine disruption

“I BELIEVE MARRIAGE ONLY WORKS IF YOU ARE
TOTALLY COMMITTED TO IT—YOU CAN’T COME
TO IT HOPING TO ‘TRY’ TO MAKE A GO OF IT
BECAUSE IT WON’T LAST.”
the international stage, rising
to become the first Australian
appointed to head a United
Nations’ body—The World
Food Program.
HE WAS THE dashing diplomat—
the youngest recruit to Australia’s
foreign service who arrived in
Canberra in 1946 at the age
of 18.
She was the beautiful Parisian
secretary at the French Embassy,
then on Mugga Way.
They met at a British High
Commission party in the days
before Canberra’s population
barely scraped 20,000. Odette
Koven was attracted by James
Ingram’s shyness.
“He was even shyer than I was
and I liked that,” she says.
“Yes, I was shy, but I felt an
instant attraction—and I still feel
it to this day,” says Jim.
Now aged 89 and 90, Jim and
Odette will celebrate their 67th
wedding anniversary later this
year—having nurtured a love
that is as evident today as it was
when their wedding photos were
taken in 1950 at the Hyatt.
Their simple secret?
Commitment.
Jim says “I believe marriage only
works if you are totally committed
to it—you can’t come to it
hoping to ‘try’ to make a go of it
because it won’t last.”
High-level diplomacy skills may
also have something to do with it.
Jim and Odette married on a
Monday and on the Wednesday
they flew to their first posting
in Israel.
The career diplomat, Jim
devoted more than four decades
to representing Australia on
Odette was by his side while they
relocated to capitals including
Jakarta, Washington, Brussels,
New York and Rome—raising
two daughters and a son along
the way.
Jim credits his wife with having
the highest level of emotional
intelligence of anyone he
has ever met and of being
“masterfully tactful”.
“I could not be more grateful to
Odette for the support she gave
me over those years,” says Jim.
In turn, Odette says that Jim was
the sort of man who carved out
time for her and their children—
no matter the professional
demands on him.
“Jim is affectionate and caring.
He always says that it is my inner
spirit, the real me, that he loves.”
According to Jim, “I think to be
totally absorbed in your job is
wrong and I have never focused
entirely on my work to the
exclusion of my family.”
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