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EXBERLINER Issue 164, October 2017

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COLUMN— The Gay Berliner<br />

Macho<br />

men<br />

Walter Crasshole wonders why<br />

gay men in Berlin aren’t willing to<br />

share with their sisters.<br />

Recently I saw the new Tom of Finland biopic (see page 31).<br />

It’s a boring, yawn-inducing, pat-on-the-back affair that<br />

took me three days to watch in its entirety. But what the<br />

real Tom of Finland did had a profound impact on gay culture. He<br />

delighted in drawing hyper-masculine versions of men that went a<br />

ways in erasing the stereotype of the limp-wristed, ascot-wearing<br />

pansy. And over the years, his manly prototype has grown into<br />

something to aspire to. For some that’s a great thing, for others not<br />

so much. Gay male culture, even in Berlin, seems to have retreated<br />

into a masculine black hole. What does this mean for the aforementioned<br />

pansy? And worse, did it affect the way we see women?<br />

How terrible is it that gay men could be misogynists, too? Remove<br />

any sexual motive and it seems like we would be the first to<br />

make sure women get treated like human beings. Alas, not.<br />

Take sex club Ficken3000. Home to the legendary Pork party<br />

and its equally dubious (read: great) successor Icky, this place<br />

was like a filthy beacon for us all. And part of the draw was that<br />

we could bring our girlfriends with us. Or girls went on their<br />

own. At any rate, that never stopped any of us from getting our<br />

dicks sucked. But in the past year, management has made the<br />

decision to put a “men only” sign above the darkroom. Yes,<br />

there are lots of women who don’t have an interest in going<br />

down there, but some do. And seriously, what’s with this 20thcentury<br />

notion of sexual spaces? Grow (back) up.<br />

Other times this gets even more personal. A certain gay bar and<br />

sex club in Friedrichshain recently opened up to women. And they<br />

come. Guess what? They’re helping pay your bills, especially since<br />

the old guard is ageing. So when my friend Scout went for a drink<br />

the other night, why did she stand at the bar for 20 minutes without<br />

getting served by the shirtless homo wielding the taps? The visible<br />

sneer on his face betrayed his reasoning. Just serve her, douchebag.<br />

You don’t have to fuck her. She doesn’t want to fuck you, either –<br />

she’s a lesbian. But you do have to treat her like a human being.<br />

And it’s all just as well, too, because there aren’t any lesbian<br />

bars anyway. Why the hell is it so hard for the gay ones to<br />

share? Even as more lesbian enterprises crop up – our next EX-<br />

Blicks film screening (see page 32), as well as a new weekly sex<br />

night at Club Culture Houze in Kreuzberg – others disappear,<br />

like the “Mermaids” party on Treptow’s Insel der Jugend, which<br />

ended its 12-year run last month. Boys, we need to be supporting<br />

our queer sisters. I guarantee you, they’re cool as hell.<br />

And let’s not forget the femmy boys. They get enough shit<br />

from straight culture as it is. My friend Josh was recently bullied<br />

on the train by six white German dudes who joked about “beating<br />

up the faggot and stealing his bike”. Meanwhile, other gay<br />

men still put “no femmes” in their dating profiles.<br />

Why is femininity still the enemy? Is masculinity such a prize?<br />

It hasn’t been doing such a bang-up job with the world so far.<br />

Let’s not let it control Berlin, too. ■<br />

OCTOBER <strong>2017</strong><br />

Learning<br />

german<br />

goethe.de/berlin<br />

Sprache. Kultur. Deutschland.

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