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Penn Magazine November 2017

The inaugural issue of Penn Magazine

The inaugural issue of Penn Magazine

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IOWA TERROR<br />

Someone was killing the Democrats<br />

of Orange County, Iowa.<br />

Iowa Terror tells the story of<br />

Jesus Iowa, a high school kid who<br />

saw the towers coming down on the<br />

TV wheeled into history class by the<br />

janitor and saw what no one else saw,<br />

the truth, so he had to leave town, but<br />

he came back. It features the outstanding<br />

art work of Ben Heine, Ian<br />

Ward, Russell Brutsche, and Allison<br />

M. Healy.<br />

A Good Democrat<br />

As we know,<br />

There are known knowns.<br />

There are things we know we<br />

know.<br />

We also know<br />

There are known unknowns.<br />

That is to say<br />

We know there are some<br />

things<br />

We do not know.<br />

But there are also unknown<br />

unknowns,<br />

The ones we don’t know<br />

We don’t know.<br />

— Donald Rumsfeld, United<br />

States Secretary of Defense,<br />

Feb. 12, 2002, Department of<br />

Defense news briefing<br />

Someone was killing the<br />

Democrats of Orange County,<br />

Iowa.<br />

I wouldn’t have cared, but<br />

that I was a Democrat.<br />

I did not much care to have<br />

my throat slit as I pulled into<br />

the garage, or have my brakes<br />

The prime suspect was Jesus Iowa,<br />

the terrorist.<br />

<strong>November</strong> <strong>2017</strong>/<strong>Penn</strong> <strong>Magazine</strong>/49

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