Penn Magazine November 2017

The News from
Moon Rock Lake
At the close of each episode of The New American Dream Radio Show
Chuck Gregory performs The News
Well, it’s been another long
week in Moon Rock Lake,
Ohio, my hometown, at the
end of the empire.
Father Ralph is pastor of “Good God
What Is It Good For” Catholic parish
in Moon Rock Lake.
It’s his home. He grew up in this
town.
“ ...why did you treat Mr. Garrison as
you did,
which is to say quite rudely,
almost as if you
were accusing him of doing wrong by
trying to find the killers of President
Kennedy.
GGWGF was his first assignment out
of St. Paul Seminary and after he had
his run-around of assignments over
the course of the next forty years, he
asked to come back home.
His last stop. End of the line. Ballgame’s
over. Stick those matches and
lighters in the air and everyone weave
back and forth and hum Freebird.
Father Ralph doesn’t have to do much
in Moon Rock Lake, along the lines
of saving the world .. but he was listening
on TV about Wisconsin when
they had their little revolution a few
years back.
And he found the yellow pad in the
middle drawer and he thought he
might just see what might come out
if he prepared a homily ahead of time
one last time.
He slid his rolling chair to his desk
and tugged hard on the middle draw-
er, raked through the vanilla folders
and found the old homily he wanted
to give again that Sunday … maybe
now was the time.
The altar area smelled of the branches
of evergreen curled around the toes of
Saint Joseph and Mary on either side
of the altar that nobody took down
from last Christmas … or the Christmas
before.
“... Well, anywhoo, there was this
child I recall, back a hundred years
ago, in the past century in nineteen
hundred and sixty-three.
“This young boy was standing at the
green table, still gripping his Flintstones
lunch box.
“The morning kids had just left. The
brand new shiny metal box held his
banana and his beads for the Christmas
tree. On the blackboard, which
covered the whole one side of the
room, as big as a bus, his teacher had
engraved in new, white chalk:
President John F. Kennedy.
“Soon all the children were gathered
for the afternoon session. They stood
beside their tables for the Pledge of
Allegiance.
Just as they had finished, the principal,
Sister Mary, came in and
talked to Sister George.
“The kids remained standing as Sister
Mary told the children that President
Kennedy had been shot and killed.
“The boy felt a warm stream down
his leg as his socks became wet and a
puddle formed between his feet.” …
November 2017/Penn Magazine/67