With This Ring: March 23, 2018
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DIPLOMACY<br />
<strong>With</strong> <strong>This</strong> <strong>Ring</strong><br />
&Divvy-ing the Duties<br />
Organising all the aspects of a wedding is difficult enough, but family dynamics<br />
can be dynamite! The pressure on the bride and groom to meet everyone’s wishes<br />
and expectations can be immense, especially if there are blended families, divorced<br />
parents, step relationships and new partners to consider.<br />
53<br />
...be gracious<br />
and leave no<br />
one outside<br />
the circle.<br />
There’s no formula to successfully sorting the<br />
situation, but avoiding potential strife, tension,<br />
offence and disagreement is always easier if<br />
you can talk things over before they get out of<br />
hand. The bride and groom need to take the<br />
lead, be firm, be diplomatic and be as inclusive<br />
as possible when it comes to divvy-ing up the<br />
wedding duties.<br />
If divorced parents are on good terms, they<br />
will want to share a happy, stress-free wedding<br />
day and are also likely to share its expenses. If<br />
there is tension, the bridal couple can simply ask<br />
the various parties to put aside their differences<br />
so that the occasion can be enjoyed on the day<br />
and in retrospect.<br />
Invitations usually name both sets of birth<br />
parents as hosts of the wedding, but if there<br />
are step parents and new partners, an agreed<br />
compromise might have to be made – name all<br />
of them or none of them and just provide the<br />
names of the wedding couple!<br />
The bride chooses who will walk her down the<br />
aisle, gives her away and makes a speech. It can<br />
be Dad or Mum, or both, it might be a Stepdad<br />
or even both Dads, or a brother if it becomes<br />
too competitive. But involve your Dad and your<br />
Stepdad in some way to avoid them feeling<br />
unimportant on your big day. Also ask the<br />
partners of your divorced parent(s) to help with<br />
something at your wedding so that they can also<br />
feel included.<br />
Seating can also become too associated with<br />
family hierarchy. Disputes about who sits closest<br />
to the bride and groom can be alleviated if the<br />
top table accommodates just the bridal party,<br />
while divorced parents can each host their<br />
special guests at their own table nearby.<br />
Make sure your wedding photos include your<br />
birth parents together as well as with their new<br />
partners/other children. Your wedding is your<br />
day for sure but it is also a family milestone so<br />
be gracious and leave no one outside the circle.
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