Bright Kids Growing Up Communicating with a child No matter how busy you are, as a parent, you cannot afford to not communicate well with your child, and it doesn’t matter if your little one can speak back to you or not. When there is a good, comfortable communicating line between parent and child, the latter will be able to express his or her feelings, needs and wants. Communicating well with a child entails that you encourage them to talk to you so they can tell you what they’re feeling and thinking. In turn, you must be able to really listen and respond in a sensitive way to all kinds of things that they may have in their little developing minds – not just nice things or good news, but also anger, embarrassment, sadness and fear. As parents, you’ll also have to tune into your child’s body language and tone as well as words so you can really understand what your little one is trying to bring out. When communicating with a little one, it also pays to take into consideration your child’s age and how much can he or she really comprehend, not to mention the short attention span you have to work with. Not all children are the same though, and they communicate in different ways too. Some children need a lot of encouragement and positive feedback to express what they’re feeling inside. Others will be desperate to talk with a parent when said parent is busy with household chores, working on the computer, talking on the phone, etc. Once again, it pays to realise that your child’s communication needs during this tender developing stage is important, so do try to stop what you’re doing and…… listen. Remember, as they grow older, you’ll need them to listen to you when you have important things to tell them, so start modelling this behavior of listening while your child is still at an impressionable age. Be intentional in your efforts to listen (when your child or spouse is talking) and junior will learn to do the same. Keep the flow of communication open at all times It’s important for kids to know and realise that their parents value their thoughts and feelings, and are always there to help them express themselves too. One good practice is to set aside time for talking and listening to each other. Family meals times can make this happen by default with clever prompting. Get your spouse on board with you on this and change dinner time into family communicating time with jokes, laughter, praises, etc. With little children, it’s easy to even just talk about everyday things as you go through your day together. Remember, if you keep this up and your child is used to having lots of communication with you, it can make it easier to talk when sensitive or tricky issues come up in your child’s life later on. The many facets of communicating with a child Building up on their “Feelings vocabulary” Be open to talking about all kinds of feelings, including anger, joy, frustration, fear and anxiety. This helps your child develop a ‘feelings vocabulary’. <strong>Talk</strong>ing about feeling angry is different from getting angry, though. Learning the difference is an important step for a child learning to communicate. Watch for changes in body language Tune in to what your child’s body language is telling you, and try to respond to non-verbal messages too – for example, if your child seems fidgety during dinner, try inquiring: “Something seems to be troubling you. Would you like to talk about it?”. Work together to resolve things As children grow and develop their own interesting characters, it might get exasperating for some parents to try and deal with it. For example, a child may take to changing his clothes several times a day. Instead of nagging about it, try instead to remark positively on his new interest in / hygiene/fashion and ask him to put away what he’s no longer wearing, in its proper place. Emphasise the importance of honesty It’s crucial to encourage and support your child to tell the truth at all times and when it happens, offer praise first before commenting on the situation. It goes without saying too, that it will never do for your child to catch you telling a lie… even if it’s a little one. Always being available and willing to listen This may be tricky, especially if you have a clingy or needy child to begin with. This also may make it difficult to predict when your child will start talking about something important. The key point here is to be sensitive to his body language, voice tone and of course, what’s he up to at all times. 28 <strong>Baby</strong><strong>Talk</strong> | May 2019
Life & Style Feature Deciding on a family pediatrician Your baby’s developing body needs specific health care - the kind that differs from the needs of adults. It is usually provided by a pediatrician, a doctor who specializes in the care of babies, children, and also teenagers. Medical doctors complete four years of medical school, where else to become specialized in the field of pediatrics, three additional years of training in the field is needed. <strong>Baby</strong><strong>Talk</strong> | May 2019 29
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