JANUARY 2019

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Infertility: breaking the stigma BY BIANCA KASAWDISH With so many couples struggling silently with infertility, three women in the community shed some light on what they went through with having children – the ups, the downs, and everything in between. In a Mom to Mom show hosted by Lisa Denha brought by the Eastern Catholic Re-evangelization Center (ECRC) and shown live on the Chaldean Moms of Metro Detroit Facebook page, these women shared their stories of infertility and how they each managed to find their way through faith. Kristina Awdish After almost eight years of marriage and a long journey to conceive, Awdish and her husband suffered two miscarriages when they found she had low progesterone. She then had a third miscarriage. After seeing a NaProTechnology instructor, she learned the method and started tracking her symptoms for a few months. This Creighton Model monitors biomarkers of the menstrual and fertility cycle. This required her to do blood work often and track her levels of progesterone which was found not to be as high as it should. This required her to then take injections of progesterone every two weeks to make sure the levels were okay. Soon afterwards she was given her gift and she and her husband welcomed a daughter into the world. She is now pregnant with her second child. “It’s a wonderful thing to want children,” she shared. “Having a child is not a right. I am undeserving and I’ve been trusted with a gift with this child.” On stigmas within the community on IVF and abortion, which is on the rise, she shares that there are so many other ways that are moral and approved by the church. She believes we’re all in need of God’s grace and we should talk about infertility and miscarriage more often. On words of advice for other women struggling with infertility she states “It’s not your fault. Don’t let people make you feel guilty.” Sandra Kizy Kizy got married later in her twenties and didn’t rush to have children right away. She went the Natural Family Planning (NFP) route and, when she and her husband were ready to start trying to have children, they tried for two years. They then decided to see a fertility specialist and after many tests, bloodwork, and an invasive procedure, found she had very severe endometriosis after having no symptoms of it. “Infertility, in general, is a lot more common these days,” she said. “Women are pursuing careers, are waiting longer to get married, and, when they get married, are waiting a little longer to have kids for whatever reason that may be.” During that time she had discussed options with her husband, one being adoption. She shares that she had contacted a woman she was referred to about adoption and was considering it and praying about it, only to learn she was pregnant very soon after. Her son is now five and she also now has a daughter who is three. Wanting to expand their family further, Kizy then had a late term miscarriage at 20 weeks and is currently trying for a third child. Dawn Pullis After being diagnosed with ovarian cancer at just 21 years old and catching it at the right time, Pullis was left infertile. Through difficulties dating in the community and knowing this would be a struggle with her future partner, she knew adoption would be the route they would have to go. After marrying and deciding to start a family, she and her husband wanted to give a home to a child in need rather than go another route such as IVF. After going through the adoption process, Pullis and her husband met their daughter when she was just a day old. She shares that as soon as they met her, they knew she was meant to be their child. “God gave me the gift of forgetting the struggles once my daughter was born. I cherish her and appreciate having her more than anything,” she said. She shares that adoption is a blessing, and “It’s as if I gave birth to her.” She also shares that she would love for her daughter to know as much about herself as possible and maybe one day she will have contact with her birth mother. While the journey to motherhood is not easy for some, it’s time to break the stigma. For all of these women and for all women struggling with infertility, hold on to the hope that what’s meant to be will always find a way. 24 CHALDEAN NEWS JANUARY 2019
100 Questions and Answers about Chaldeans BY ASHOURINA SLEWO Working with his students, author and Michigan State University journalism professor, Joe Grimm, has published a number of cultural competence guides about various cultures. His fifteenth and latest guide puts the spotlight on the Chaldean community. The book, “100 Questions and Answers About Chaldeans” came on the heels of the raids led by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) in June of 2017 that lead to the detainment of hundreds of community members. These community members faced deportation. With these massive raids came many misunderstandings regarding the Chaldean community. It became clear to Grimm that a cultural competence guide about the community was now more important than ever. “With people being detained for possible deportation, we had to act,” explained Grimm. “It is a journalist’s job to report relevant information when it is needed. We saw this guide and these times as our clear obligation to serve the public.” While the deportations play a part in the making of “100 Questions and Answers About Chaldeans”, Grimm had always planned to write this guide about Chaldeans. The raids bumped it up on his list of guides to write, though. “What makes a guide about Chaldean American special is that this place – southeast Michigan – is the heart of Chaldean America. That gives our people a tremendous advantage and a big responsibility to learn what we can locally and to share it widely,” said Grimm. “Personally, the first peer of non- European descent I spent an extended time with was a classmate when I was a student at St. Bede’s School in Southfield. That was more than 50 years ago. After St. Bede’s, I attended Brother Rice High School, where I met more Chaldeans. Living my whole life in the Detroit area, I have known Chaldean Americans in many contexts.” In order for Grimm’s guides to be useful, the process of writing each guide is thorough. First, they begin by conducting interviews to learn what Chaldean Americans to describe basic, everyday questions or assumptions non-Chaldeans have about the community. “These can be questions or assumptions that Chaldeans hear all the time or questions they think people really ought to have the answers to,” said Grimm. In writing these guides, Grimm and his students have four ethics. They are to be respectful of the people they write about, be accurate in portraying the identities, be authoritative by using solid sources, and be accessible. The guides are meant to be accessible as possible. For this reason, the books are made available in print and digital at a low cost across a number of platforms. Grimm and his students then edit each other. In addition, they solicit critiques at the formative and question writing stages as well as at the end of the process. In this process, several members of the Chaldean community have had the opportunity to guide Grimm and his students. “These guides cannot possibly be done without help from experts in the community. They have been kind, knowledgeable and patient with us as they explained things or corrected our work,” said Grimm. “We approached people from many perspectives. People we worked with directly included Bishop Francis Kalabat and Fathers Manuel Boji, Pierre Konja and Patrick Setto. Others were Vanessa Denha Garmo, who advised before the class even began and who then visited it. Martin Manna has a similarly vital role.” Other community experts include author Jacob Bacall, Mary Romaya, Mariann Sarafa and Ann Rabban from the Chaldean Cultural Center, Zina Salem and Jane Shallal of the United Community Family Services (Chaldean American Ladies of Charity) and even the president of the Chaldean Heritage Foundation, Tom Alkatib. Other notable community members assisted, including Judge Diane D’Agostini, State Representative Klint Kesto, Assistant Metro Editor Sally Tato, Margaret Saroki- Shamoun, chair of TEACH, and Joe Sarafa. Providing several photos is Wilson Sarkis. Topics covered in “100 Questions and Answers About Chaldeans” will range from the church, employment and entrepreneurship to myths and stereotypes in the community. “The church is very important and not widely understood. The church is central. So is family. The distinctions of religion, nationality and cultural tradition have to be explained,” said Grimm. “The growth of our Chaldean community in terms of education and employment, especially entrepreneurship, is a real story of success and needs to be understood.” “Things are not as they were. We wanted to examine Chaldeans’ historic origins and, of course, contemporary history in the United States and Iraq. It is both tragic and hopeful.” Grimm hopes readers of this guide will learn about the flourishing Chaldean community of metro Detroit and be confident in their interactions with Chaldean Americans. “It is very simple. We wish to give people the confidence to have better conversations with Chaldeans,” explained Grimm. “We want them to feel less afraid that they will ask a question that is hurtful or that embarrasses them. This is a slim little guide and is just a starting point, not the whole story.” There is not yet a release date for “100 Questions and Answers About Chaldeans.” When released, it will be available for purchase on Amazon. JANUARY 2019 CHALDEAN NEWS 25
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