Summer19_SSCWN

This next story sets up any good writer with some
wonderful synonymic wordplay.
For instance, “clink” and “can” are
considered slang words for jail. And this story
could easily be headlined: Two cons canned for
clink caper. Or something like that. So, who are
the cons and what cans sent them to the clink?
Why it was David Valiquette and Krystal Pilon
of Windsor, Ontario, who were caught stealing
bags of cans and a recycle bin from the Car
and Dog Wash. The cans were part of a bottle
drive fundraiser to benefit the Pet and Wildlife
Rescue. The amount of cans stolen equaled
about $600. The entire heist was caught on
camera and eventually, the police caught up
with the duo who have been charged.
I believe it was
Eliot “Untouchables”
Ness who said, “That’s
the Chicago way!”
Or maybe it was Al Capone?
Or Oprah Winfrey? Whoever actually said it,
must have known that the city of Chicago as well
as its residents have their own quirks and idiosyncrasies.
Take for instance, this peculiar pair of bandits
who risked jail time and negative notoriety for
some candy and old coupons. Surveillance caught
the pair as they not only broke into the 4 Seasons
Car Wash in Chicago, but also a shrimp restaurant.
Car wash footage shows the pair stealing a
car from the car wash as well as a drawer full of
coins, candy and car keys. “In Chicago, everything
happens. You never know,” Andy Sularz, who’s car
was stolen, told cbs 2. After breaking into the car
wash and stealing the car, the man and a woman
hit up Frank’s Chicago Shrimp House. According
to the story, “After rifling through the back room,
the burglars left with bank bags. Not filled with
cash, but old coupons.”
Police are still looking for the suspects and I am
sure have plenty of questions, starting with why
on earth was the restaurant keeping old coupons
in bank bags?
Now, here is a crime
story with a happy ending
worthy of a Hallmark
Channel movie.
And, it has patriotism to boot!
A 19-year-old teen was caught on camera stealing
an American flag from the Beachon Car & Pet
Wash in Pacific, Missouri.
Car wash owner Bill Hoaglin posted screenshots
of the suspect on Facebook and it only took about
45 minutes for the “tips” to pour in with people
identifying the suspect.
According to The Patriot Post, police reviewed
the footage and stopped by the suspect’s house,
but he was not home. About 15 minutes later, the
car wash’s phone rang. Lo and behold, it was the
suspect. “He wanted to make it right,” Hoaglin said
in the story. “So, I told him to bring the flag back.”
(And this is where the Hallmark Channel would
cue in the redemption music…) So, Instead of
pressing charges, the business owner and the police
officer had another idea.
Hoaglin, who served as a police officer for 18
years, had his daughter go out and purchase every
small American flag she could find. Then, the teen
was given a choice: Either hand out the American
flags or go to jail.
You can probably guess what the teen chose to do.
For over five hours he handed out small American
flags to every customer who dropped by the
car wash, the story stated.
“The middle flag, I stole it,” the young man told
Fox 2 Now. “I made a mistake. Don’t steal flags, kids.”
Hoaglin, who noted that the “punishment” was
not meant to embarrass the teen, said he was very
courteous. Hoaglin added that some people heard
about the flag giveaway and brought their kids to
the car wash to show them what happens when a
person gets caught stealing.
“Community policing used to work a lot back
when I was a kid,” Hoaglin said in the story. “If you
were out being a knucklehead, they wouldn’t haul
you off to jail, they would call your mom or dad
and sometimes that was the worst punishment
than getting a ticket.”
It is unclear if Hoaglin and the teen are now best
friends, but Hoaglin did say this about the incident
and how he is a fan of second chances: “I’m a very
strong believer in that. So, I thought let’s give this a
try. And I think it made a good impression on him.”
76 • SUMMER 2019