This next story sets up any good writer with some wonderful synonymic wordplay. For instance, “clink” and “can” are considered slang words for jail. And this story could easily be headlined: Two cons canned for clink caper. Or something like that. So, who are the cons and what cans sent them to the clink? Why it was David Valiquette and Krystal Pilon of Windsor, Ontario, who were caught stealing bags of cans and a recycle bin from the Car and Dog Wash. The cans were part of a bottle drive fundraiser to benefit the Pet and Wildlife Rescue. The amount of cans stolen equaled about $600. The entire heist was caught on camera and eventually, the police caught up with the duo who have been charged. I believe it was Eliot “Untouchables” Ness who said, “That’s the Chicago way!” Or maybe it was Al Capone? Or Oprah Winfrey? Whoever actually said it, must have known that the city of Chicago as well as its residents have their own quirks and idiosyncrasies. Take for instance, this peculiar pair of bandits who risked jail time and negative notoriety for some candy and old coupons. Surveillance caught the pair as they not only broke into the 4 Seasons Car Wash in Chicago, but also a shrimp restaurant. Car wash footage shows the pair stealing a car from the car wash as well as a drawer full of coins, candy and car keys. “In Chicago, everything happens. You never know,” Andy Sularz, who’s car was stolen, told cbs 2. After breaking into the car wash and stealing the car, the man and a woman hit up Frank’s Chicago Shrimp House. According to the story, “After rifling through the back room, the burglars left with bank bags. Not filled with cash, but old coupons.” Police are still looking for the suspects and I am sure have plenty of questions, starting with why on earth was the restaurant keeping old coupons in bank bags? Now, here is a crime story with a happy ending worthy of a Hallmark Channel movie. And, it has patriotism to boot! A 19-year-old teen was caught on camera stealing an American flag from the Beachon Car & Pet Wash in Pacific, Missouri. Car wash owner Bill Hoaglin posted screenshots of the suspect on Facebook and it only took about 45 minutes for the “tips” to pour in with people identifying the suspect. According to The Patriot Post, police reviewed the footage and stopped by the suspect’s house, but he was not home. About 15 minutes later, the car wash’s phone rang. Lo and behold, it was the suspect. “He wanted to make it right,” Hoaglin said in the story. “So, I told him to bring the flag back.” (And this is where the Hallmark Channel would cue in the redemption music…) So, Instead of pressing charges, the business owner and the police officer had another idea. Hoaglin, who served as a police officer for 18 years, had his daughter go out and purchase every small American flag she could find. Then, the teen was given a choice: Either hand out the American flags or go to jail. You can probably guess what the teen chose to do. For over five hours he handed out small American flags to every customer who dropped by the car wash, the story stated. “The middle flag, I stole it,” the young man told Fox 2 Now. “I made a mistake. Don’t steal flags, kids.” Hoaglin, who noted that the “punishment” was not meant to embarrass the teen, said he was very courteous. Hoaglin added that some people heard about the flag giveaway and brought their kids to the car wash to show them what happens when a person gets caught stealing. “Community policing used to work a lot back when I was a kid,” Hoaglin said in the story. “If you were out being a knucklehead, they wouldn’t haul you off to jail, they would call your mom or dad and sometimes that was the worst punishment than getting a ticket.” It is unclear if Hoaglin and the teen are now best friends, but Hoaglin did say this about the incident and how he is a fan of second chances: “I’m a very strong believer in that. So, I thought let’s give this a try. And I think it made a good impression on him.” 76 • SUMMER 2019
Come on, guys, it’s all ball bearings nowadays! Still the 24/7 Operator’s Roundtable! SUMMER 2019 • 77
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