New Orbit Magazine Issue 08; Feb 2020, The Future of Animals

I finally found the kid in one of the empty
labs with his laptop, making a sign for
raccoons. Raccoons!
“What the hell do you think you’re
doing?” I asked.
“Just trying to shift the zoo paradigm.”
Max didn’t look up from his computer
screen.
“Pair of what?”
“The paradigm. I’m trying to change how
people see zoos and themselves and really the
whole world around them.”
“That’s lovely,” I said. “Now, you go take
every one of them damn signs down.”
“Hey Franky, relax. You already signed
the paperwork. Did you read it carefully? I’m
allowed to —” he held up his hands and made
air quotes: “develop several exhibits as a way
of generating new resources for the zoo.”
I could tell by his precise words that he’d
memorized the phrase just for this moment.
I went to look at the form anyway. There it
was in the smaller print, of course. I should
have worn my reading glasses, and I should
have never signed that form! I took my check
out of my pocket again. If the kid was going
to get me fired, I might as well get paid in the
meantime. In for a penny, in for a pound.
That’s something Mr. Sato might say.
The signs continued to multiply. The
next day Mr. Sato brought his senior center
cronies in for the grand tour. The group of
elderly men came armed with paper cups of
coffee and newspapers. I knew I’d have to
empty the trash when they left. To top it off,
every single damn one of them put coins into
the cashier box.
I followed the slow-moving tour. The
signs for the pigeons and squirrels elicited
some chuckles and polite remarks, but when
they discovered the feral cat “exhibit,” a
debate erupted among the old men.
“There are no animals here! Just food
dishes!” One man yelled in the overly loud
way of the partially deaf. “You have to give
the cats a safe place where they can be seen!
How about Lion Hill?” The other old men
laughed. Max made a show of taking out his
notepad and scribbling.
“You should have a dog exhibit!”
Another one shouted. “The city won’t do
anything about all those strays in the park.
You should put them in the old Hyena
Yard!”
I didn’t like the way this was going, but
before I could say anything, Mr. Sato got a
flash of inspiration.
“I know!” he said. “We should play chess
here. You can make an exhibit about chess
players! What do you say boys?” He turned to
his gang of seniors who all nodded in delight.
“That’s brilliant!” Max said.
“Hey now!” I interrupted. “The cats are
one thing, but we can’t have stray dogs here.
It’s dangerous, and we absolutely aren’t going
to put old men in cages!”
“No. Not cages. In our natural
environment: the food court! You can even