Happiful October 2020

THE MAGAZINE DEVOTED TO MENTAL HEALTH OCT 2020 | £4 

IMAGINE. 

CREATE. 

LIBERATE. 

Free your mind & 

soothe your senses 

as we embrace the 

power of crafting 

A little 

respect 

Our bodies deserve 

better – it's time to let 

kindness lead the way 

JAY SHETTY 

Do your 

deskercise! 

Ease those 

aches & pains 

Under 

pressure? 

What can happen when 

a negative news feed 

distorts your view 

9 772514 373000 

10 

top tips 

to transform 

your mindset 

Shed light on SAD 

IVF & mental health 

Mood-boosting food 

10 

HAPPIFUL.COM | £4

A change 

of view 

It’s funny how much the world around 

us, and even our own circumstances, 

can change depending on how we 

choose to look at things. 

French critic Alphonse Karr once 

said: “We can complain because rose 

bushes have thorns, or rejoice because 

thorns have roses.” 

Sometimes, what we really need is to 

see things from a different point of 

view. Whether that’s shaking up our 

perspective, exploring new ideas, or 

putting ourselves in someone else’s 

shoes for a moment. 

In this issue, Jay Shetty shares his 

essential learnings on how to change 

our mindset, plus in our special feature 

on crafting, we share how powerful 

creativity can be – by taking something 

simple and turning it into art. 

But a fresh perspective doesn’t just 

benefit our own wellbeing, it can 

offer education and awareness that 

allows us to support others who are 

struggling, too. 

See the world from another’s eyes 

as we investigate the mental impact 

of IVF treatment, and consider how 

current world events are impacting 

the deaf community’s wellbeing more 

dramatically than you may have 

realised. 

While it can feel like we’re more 

physically disconnected than before, 

emotionally we have the space to 

appreciate what others are going 

through, and search for the means to 

address the imbalance. 

Perhaps it’s time to adjust our view, 

and see all the good we can do for 

those around us. 

REBECCA THAIR | EDITOR 

W | happiful.com 

F | happifulhq 

T | @happifulhq 

I | @happiful_magazine

Features 

22 We need to talk about IVF 

IVF can come hand in hand with stress and 

anxiety. It's about time that we spoke about 

the realities of fertility journeys 

28 Jay Shetty 

The public speaker and former monk on 

how to transform your mindset 

43 Embody love 

Discover the steps you can take to build a 

better relationship with your body 

49 Meet the menopause 

Author Sam Baker chats menopause: the 

good, the bad, and the liberating 

52 What you make of it 

Switch off and get stuck into these six 

simple yet mindful crafts 

The Uplift 

8 In the news 

13 The wellbeing wrap 

15 What is mean world 

syndrome? 

Could the news cycle be negatively affecting 

how we view the world? 

90 You are worthy of love 

Lifestyle and 

Relationships 

33 MH in the deaf community 

We explore the unique mental health 

challenges faced by those with hearing loss 

40 Back to school 

Our counsellor answers question on how we 

can support children as they return to class 

46 The next chapter 

10 top tips from an expert on how to manage 

the menopause 

82 The plastic-free challenge 

Could you reduce your plastic waste with 

some simple changes, in just seven days? 

52 27 

Culture 

27 Craft a gratitude attitude 

60 Clean and green 

10 eco-friendly DIY hacks 

62 Things to do in October 

81 Into the pages 

Discover this month's biggest book releases 

Life Stories 

37 Jane: No more hiding 

The global movement against racism 

opened up old wounds for Jane, but 

with the help of therapy, she's learning 

how to embrace her culture and the 

person she is today 

75 Kim: A good sign 

Learning new skills helped Kim when 

things got tough. When she turned to 

sign language, it lead her down an 

enlightening path 

87 Emma-Jane: speaking out 

With the help of therapy, Emma-Jane 

began to process her trauma. But the 

most liberating tool was telling her story 

22 

82

43 

Our team 

EDITORIAL 

Rebecca Thair | Editor 

Kathryn Wheeler | Head Writer 

Tia Sinden | Editorial Assistant 

Bonnie Evie Gifford, Kat Nicholls | Senior Writers 

Becky Wright | Content & Marketing Officer 

Katie Hoare | Digital Marketing & Content Officer 

Grace Victory | Columnist 

Lucy Donoughue | Head of Partnerships 

Ellen Hoggard | Digital Editor 

Keith Howitt | Sub-Editor 

Rav Sekhon | Expert Advisor 

ART & DESIGN 

Amy-Jean Burns | Head of Product 

Charlotte Reynell | Creative Lead 

Rosan Magar | Illustrator 

Emma Boast | Designer 

COMMUNICATIONS 

Alice Greedus 

PR Officer 

alice.greedus@happiful.com 

Wellness 

18 Need to nourish? 

Columnist Grace Victory explores self-care and 

the ways you can harness it 

78 That's a stretch 

Ease back pain with these desk stretches 

Happiful Hacks 

20 Beat the 3pm slump 

58 Freelance your way 

66 Put it down in words 

84 Soothe SAD symptoms 

71 

Food & Drink 

68 In the mood for food 

Recipes to help fuel a happy mind and body 

71 Ready on time 

Learn how to get the most out of ready 

meals with these nutritious tips 

CONTRIBUTORS 

Claire Munnings, Jenna Farmer, Gemma Calvert, 

Fiona Thomas, Ellie Pilcher, Lindsay George, 

Jane Tran, Kim McGregor, Emma-Jane Taylor 

SPECIAL THANKS 

Graeme Orr, Rachel Coffey, Lana Walker, 

Carly Chamberlain, Beverley Hills, Katie Cakirer, 

Libby Palmer, Rebekah Esdale, Sonal Shah 

MANAGEMENT 

Aimi Maunders | Director & Co-Founder 

Emma White | Director & Co-Founder 

Paul Maunders | Director & Co-Founder 

SUBSCRIPTIONS 

For new orders and back orders, visit 

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+44 (0)1227 277 248 or email 

subenquiries@newsstand.co.uk 

CONTACT 

Happiful, c/o Memiah, Building 3, 

Riverside Way, Camberley, Surrey, GU15 3YL 

Email us at hello@happiful.com 

HAPPIFUL FAMILY 

Helping you find the help you need. 

Counselling Directory, Life Coach Directory, 

Hypnotherapy Directory, Nutritionist Resource, 

Therapy Directory

Expert Panel 

One undeniable truth is that 

finding the right help for each 

individual is a journey – what 

works for one of us will be 

different for someone else. But 

don't feel disheartened if you 

haven't found your path yet. 

Our Happiful family can help 

you on your way. Bringing 

together various arms of 

support, each of our sister 

sites focuses on a different 

method of nourishing your 

wellbeing – from counselling, 

to hypnotherapy, nutrition, 

coaching, and holistic therapy. 

Meet the team of experts who have come together to deliver 

information, guidance, and insight throughout this issue 

LANA WALKER 

CNHC EFT 

Lana is a holistic massage 

therapist and an EFT 

practitioner. 

LIBBY PALMER 

Dip MCNHC MISRM 

KATIE CAKIRER 

BSc (Hons) dip MBACP 

Katie is a psychotherapist 

and founder of Chester 

Psychotherapy Centre. 

CARLY CHAMBERLAIN 

BA Dip 

Rav's review 

'Creativity' can mean many 

different things to each of 

us. But it's a commonality 

we all share and that will 

very likely enhance our 

wellbeing. Head over to 

page 52 to explore practical 

ways you can create 

that positive feeling while 

trying something new. The 

ability to create can exist 

externally and, equally, on 

an internal level, too. The 

liberating power of creating 

something comes 

from within and is at your 

disposal. You are the master 

of your own fate. Be mindful 

and create with love. 

Libby is a remedial and sports 

massage therapist at the 

Brixton Therapy Centre. 

BEVERLEY HILLS 

MA PG Cert Dip MBACP 

Beverley is a relationship 

counsellor and 

psychotherapist. 

SARAH CLARK 

BA Hons PTLLS MAC 

Sarah, from Mariposa 

Coaching, specialises in 

wellbeing and relationships. 

Carly is an author who 

has 15 years' experience in 

holistic health. 

LINDSAY GEORGE 

MA Dip RGN MBACP (Accred) 

Lindsay is an integrative 

counsellor and psychotherapist, 

as well as a trained nurse. 

REBEKAH ESDALE 

DipNT RMN mBANT CNHC 

Rebekah is an integrative 

health practitioner and 

nutritional therapist. 

RAV SEKHON 

BA MA MBACP (Accred) 

Rav is a counsellor 

and psychotherapist 

with more than 10 

years' experience. 

RACHEL COFFEY 

BA MA NLP Mstr 

Rachel is a life coach 

encouraging confidence 

and motivation. 

GRAEME ORR 

MBACP (Accred) Reg Ind 

Graeme is a counsellor 

working with both 

individuals and couples.

9 772514 373000 

JAY SHETTY 

10 

Find help 

CRISIS SUPPORT 

If you are in crisis and are concerned for 

your own safety, call 999 or go to A&E 

Call Samaritans on 116 123 or email 

them at jo@samaritans.org 

Head to 

happiful.com 

for more services 

and support 

Reader offer 

Print 

GENERAL LISTENING LINES 

SANEline 

SANEline offers support and information from 

4.30pm–10.30pm: 0300 304 7000 

Mind 

Mind offers advice Mon–Fri 9am–6pm, except bank 

holidays: 0300 123 3393. Or email: info@mind.org.uk 

Switchboard 

Switchboard is a line for LGBT+ support. Open from 10am–10pm: 

0300 330 0630. You can email: chris@switchboard.lgbt 

p22 

SUPPORT FOR IVF AND FERTILITY TREATMENT 

For more information on fertility treatment, as well as expert advice, visit 

fertilitynetworkuk.org or call their support line in 0121 323 5025. 

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INFORMATION ON HEARING LOSS 

Discover more about life with hearing loss and connect with others in the 

community by visiting actiononhearingloss.org.uk 

p68 

CONNECT WITH A NUTRITIONIST 

Find expert nutritionists, discover everyday tips, and start your plan 

for a healthier life by visiting nutritionist-resource.org.uk 

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UK RAPE AND ABUSE SERVICES 

The Survivors Trust is an umbrella agency for those who have 

experienced rape or sexual abuse. Visit thesurvivorstrust.org 

THE MAGAZINE DEVOTED TO MENTAL HEALTH OCT 2020 | £4 

IMAGINE. 

CREATE. 

LIBERATE. 

Free your mind & 

soothe your senses 

as we embrace the 

power of crafting 

Do your 

deskercise! 

Ease those 

aches & pains 

Under 

pressure? 

What can happen when 

a negative news feed 

distorts your view 

Cover artwork 

by Rosan Magar 

A little 

respect 

Our bodies deserve 

better – it's time to let 

kindness lead the way 

10 

top tips 

to transform 

your mindset 

Shed light on SAD 

IVF & mental health 

Mood-boosting food 

HAPPIFUL.COM | £4 

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WELLBEING 

The therapy that 

helps alpaca 

your worries 

The Uplift 

What’s cute, fluffy, and the perfect thing 

for soothing an anxious mind? Try an 

alpaca co-counsellor. You’ve no doubt 

heard of the incredible healing effect 

animals can have on our wellbeing, which 

inspired the founder of Simply Alpaca, 

Victoria Barrett, to create a sanctuary that 

offers people from all walks of life unique 

alpaca therapy sessions. 

When Victoria first welcomed alpacas 

into her home 11 years ago, she had no 

idea it would lead to where she is today. 

At that time, working as a paramedic 

and a counsellor, Victoria simply threw 

herself into caring for the alpacas. 

“It made sense to me to combine what I 

had learned about working with alpacas, 

with what I knew about working with 

people,” Victoria says. 

Whether it be for trauma, depression, 

addiction, anxiety, or behaviour issues, 

clients are taken through a six to eightweek 

programme where they work 

alongside counsellors while caring for, 

and spending time with, the alpacas. 

“Their very presence is quiet, inducing 

a sense of calm; and their fluffy, novel 

appearance, with big eyes, is endearing,” 

says Victoria. “Working alongside 

alpacas and llamas offers a different 

way of exploring and sensitive issues, 

as clients may find it easier to express 

their feelings, and recount painful 

experiences.” 

As we continue to talk about our unique 

needs for mental health support, Simply 

Alpaca has arrived right on time. 

Visit simplyalpaca.co.uk for more. 

Writing | Kathryn Wheeler

WORK 

Food delivery 

company offers 

staff ‘period leave’ 

CHARITY 

Sew kind: Becky sells masks to 

support her local food bank 

Caring crafter makes the most of a difficult situation 

No one expected face masks to 

be this year’s fashion must-have, 

but protecting ourselves and 

others has never been more ontrend. 

Taking matters into her 

own hands, Becky Armstrong 

started making masks for herself 

and friends. But when her pals 

offered to pay, Becky took a 

different approach. 

“I didn’t feel it was fair to make 

money from the enterprise – 

I’m very privileged to have not 

been too adversely affected by 

Covid-19 so far, so I wanted to 

help in some way,” Becky says. “I 

decided to set up a Localgiving 

page to raise money for our local 

food bank, House of Bread.” 

When the fundraiser finished, 

Becky had raised more than £3,000 

for the Stafford charity. Becky says 

the experience has taught her 

that most people are uplifted by 

kindness. 

“I think it’s important to perform 

acts of kindness when things around 

us seem bad. From complimenting 

strangers to picking up litter, you 

can make yourself, and others, feel 

better with such little effort.” 

So next time you’re feeling defeated 

by 2020, perhaps it’s worth taking 

some time to think about how you 

can make someone else smile behind 

their mask. 

Visit Becky’s Facebook page at 

facebook.com/sewingforfood. 

For those times when period pains 

get so bad that you simply cannot, a 

day on the sofa glued to Netflix and 

a tub of Ben & Jerry’s is the ultimate 

dream. Well, food delivery company 

Zomato, based in India but operating 

around the world, is making this 

dream a reality with the introduction 

of ‘period leave’. 

The new policy offers 10 days of 

period leave each year for staff 

to use when necessary – noting 

that transgender people can also 

experience periods, and creating 

an inclusive policy to reflect this. 

Sending an email to employees, 

Zomato CEO Deepinder Goyal also 

made an important point for men 

within the company: “Our female 

colleagues expressing that they are 

on their period leave shouldn’t be 

uncomfortable for us. 

“This is a part of life, and while we 

don’t fully understand what women 

go through, we need to trust them 

when they say they need to rest 

this out.” 

In India, those who follow the Hindu 

religion typically celebrate the first 

time someone menstruates. After 

this, however, in more traditional 

areas, it can be seen as taboo, with 

those who menstruate banned from 

temples, kitchens, and even sleeping 

on beds. 

Hoping to change attitudes with its 

policy, Zomato is shining a light on 

period stigma and leading the way for 

other companies. Writing | Kat Nicholls 

October 2020 • happiful.com • 9

RELATIONSHIPS 

Are eco-friendly 

men more 

attractive? 

Beauty may be in the eye of the 

beholder, but could being ecoconscious 

impact how attractive we 

find a potential partner? According 

to a new study, now could be the 

time to embrace our green fingers, 

and brush off those reusable bags, in 

the name of long-term romance. 

A recent study published in 

Psychology & Marketing has revealed 

that men who show an interest in 

ecology could be more attractive 

to those looking for a long-term 

relationship. Of the 1,500 Americans 

taking part, it was revealed that 

those who were found to be more 

ecologically responsible were 

perceived to have the ideal qualities 

of a life-long partner, including 

appearing more altruistic, faithful, 

and displaying perceived signs of 

being a good father. 

While results of the study went on 

to suggest that many ‘green’ products 

were found to be associated with 

increased femininity, they also 

showed that this didn’t translate 

to an association with a reduction 

in masculinity. No matter which 

gender showed signs of eco-friendly 

behaviour, the associations were 

shown to be more desirable. 

Taking time to make eco-friendly 

choices to save the planet, while 

boosting our chances of finding 

love? Sounds like a win-win situation 

all around. 

Writing | Bonnie Evie Gifford 


Take 5 

Put those thinking caps on, and 

carve out some quiet time to 

solve this month’s puzzling fun… 

C 

H 

R 

U 

B 

Circlegram 

Unscramble the word in each of 

the three circles to discover the 

centre letter that links them all. 

HINT: Crafting 

C 

O 

T 

N 

I 

? 

L 

S 

C 

H 

S 

How did you 

do? Search 

'freebies' at 

shop.happiful.com 

to find the answers, 

and more! 

13 

16 

20 10 

20 

Kakuros 

Complete the grid so that the numbers 

in each row and column add up to 

the totals at the edge. You can use 

digits one to nine, but remember each 

number can only be used once in a sum! 

6 

4 

3

A 3D printed 

ultrasound has 

allowed a blind 

mum to ‘see’ her 

baby in the US 

Kenya’s elephant 

population 

has more than 

doubled in 

the past three 

decades 

Scientists create 

biodegradable 

flip-flops made 

from algae 

‘Wine windows’ 

used during the 

plague are being 

opened in Italy 

during Covid-19 

to keep up the 

community spirit 

No suprises here: 

Bounty is named 

the ‘most-hated’ 

Celebrations 

chocolate in a 

LadBible poll 

The 

wellbeing 

wrap 

Winner, winner... 

Chicken dinner! Designer 

Tadelayo Sodipe has an 

innovative solution to 

support people on the 

autism spectrum who may 

find ordering food at some 

restaurants overwhelming. 

He created a simple QR 

code menu with pictures, 

and tweeted it to Nandos, 

who are keen to work on it 

more with him. Accessibility 

is certainly heating up. 

WHAT ARE THE TOP 

SEXUAL HOTSPOTS IN 

THE UK? ACCORDING 

TO RESEARCH BY 

SUPPLEMENT PLACE, 

WALSALL COMES 

IN FIRST, WITH 

BASINGSTOKE AND 

STOCKPORT ROUNDING 

OUT THE TOP THREE. 

Need a chat? 

Apparently a car is the 

ideal place, according 

to a survey by Zipcar 

UK. In fact, 76% of Brits 

have had deep chats 

while driving, and it’s 

thanks to a lack of 

distractions, and not 

being able to physically 

leave. So next time you 

need a meaningful 

conversation, get in the 

driving seat. 

A ROOM OF ONE’S OWN 

On 26 March, the government issued an 

‘everyone in’ direction to councils, requiring 

them to provide emergency housing for 

homeless people to help prevent the spread 

of Covid-19. And now, Oxford City Council has 

devised a plan so no rough sleeper need return 

to the streets, by continuing its leases on student 

housing and hostels. 

Waste not, want not 

When bars and restaurants had to close for 

lockdown in Australia, huge amounts of beer went 

stale. But the Aussies weren’t about to let the booze 

go to waste – they turned it into biogas, powering 

1,200 homes in a month! In fact, outside Adelaide, 

40,000 gallons of expired beer has been donated 

each week. Cheers to that! 

Reveal your pride 

It’s never too late to own 

your story, as proved by 

90-year-old Kenneth Felts, 

who recently came out 

as gay in a viral video. 

The Colorado resident 

kept this secret all his life, 

but found so much love 

and acceptance when he 

finally opened up. 

Forget 

about your 

worries... 

‘The Bare Necessities’ has been 

voted Disney’s most uplifting song 

in a Radio Times poll. The classic song 

from 1967’s animated The Jungle Book 

pipped two other popular tunes to 

first place – ‘You’ve Got a Friend 

in Me’ from Toy Story, and 

‘Hakuna Matata’ from 

Let it 

The Lion King. 

snow! 

Christmas came early for the 

Swiss town of Olten, when 

chocolate began to fall from 

the sky – in August. Strong 

winds, combined with a small 

malfunction with the ventilation 

system at the Lindt factory, 

resulted in particles of fine cocoa 

powder dusting the town. Some 

may see it as unfortunate , but 

the issue was quickly fixed. Yet 

for a brief time, Olten inhabitants 

lived every chocolate-lover’s 

fantasy - walking in a chocolate 

wonderland. 

Life’s a beach 

As social restrictions lifted, and 

people surged to the coast, 

Deliveroo decided to do its bit 

to keep our beaches clean. In 

its Roocycle campaign, backed 

by Clean Up Britain, the food 

delivery company encouraged 

Brits to pick up rubbish at five 

beaches across the UK, in 

exchange for a £10 voucher 

to be used on its app. With ‘UK 

holiday’ seeing a 103% search 

increase this year, it’s more 

important than ever to protect 

beauty spots from the influx 

of waste that comes with the 

extra footfall. So it’s good that 

Deliveroo is cleaning up our 

plates, and the countryside!

Photography | Caju Gomes 

Always remember you are braver 

than you believe, stronger than you 

seem, smarter than you think 

14 • happiful.com • April 2020 

“ 

A A MILNE

What is 

mean world syndrome? 

We all need to keep up with current events, but what 

happens when the news cycle starts to feel too heavy? It 

turns out that what we hear and see being reported, could 

be negatively impacting how we view the world... 

Writing | Bonnie Evie Gifford Illustrating | Rosan Magar 

>>>

The news cycle: it’s inescapable. 

Whether we chose to get our 

updates from newspapers, 

television reports, online, or social 

media, if we want to keep up with 

current events, there’s no avoiding it. 

Yet have you stopped to think about 

how it could be affecting you, and 

your view of the world? 

There’s no denying it, 2020 has 

been a tough year. The news cycle 

has been dominated by injustice, 

riots, and a global pandemic unlike 

anything we have seen in our 

lifetimes. While it’s been a heavy few 

months in the headlines, according 

to one sociology concept, the news 

could actually be affecting each of us 

more than we might think. 

What is mean world syndrome? 

First coined in the 1970s by Dr 

George Gerbner, mean world 

syndrome revolves around the idea 

that we each develop a cognitive bias 

where, over time, we start to see the 

world as more dangerous than it 

actually is. Thought to develop due 

to long-term, moderate to heavy 

exposure to violence-related content 

through mass media (such as news 

reports and television shows), those 

who are affected may experience 

increased feelings of fear, anxiety, 

general pessimism, and even feel a 

heightened state of alertness thanks 

to the perception of threats around 

them. 

What we see, hear, and read – 

whether it’s something we know to 

be true, such as a news report, or 

something we know is fiction, such 

as a drama or horror movie – can 

have a huge influence on our overall 

beliefs and attitudes about the world 

around us, and our place in it. The 

way in which the same piece of 

The way in which the same piece 

of information is framed – through 

cleverly angled photography, or carefully 

chosen words – can create an entirely 

different view of the same set of events 

information is framed – through 

cleverly angled photography or 

video footage, or carefully chosen 

words – can create an entirely 

different view of the same set of 

events. 

Since the theory was first 

proposed, numerous studies 

have supported the hypothesis, 

with findings highlighting the 

emotional toll that violence-related 

content can have on us. But is 

there anything that we can do to 

help combat these negative effects, 

without cutting ourselves off from 

the latest news? 

How can it affect us? 

When something begins to make us 

feel anxious, uneasy, or even fearful, 

it can be easy to try to dismiss it as 

‘just in our heads’ – yet for many, 

these feelings can have real, physical 

symptoms. We spoke to Beverley 

Hills, counsellor and lead partner at 

The Practice, to find out more. 

“The all-pervasive media keeps 

us in a constant state of alert, 

from entertainment to the news. 

Thanks to increasingly sophisticated 

production values, our brains 

sometimes find it confusing to tell 

the difference between exciting fact 

16 • happiful.com • October 2020

and thrilling fiction. We get caught 

up in a cortisol loop, and begin to 

believe that dangers exist all around 

us in real life. 

“Mean world syndrome plays 

right into our innate fears: fear of 

the unknown, fear of death, FOMO 

(fear of missing out). It triggers 

our self-protective fight, flight, or 

freeze instinct, whereby the body 

is flooded with hormones and 

chemicals originally designed to put 

us on alert in order to save us from 

the very real big bad world out there 

in the days before civilisation. Our 

instincts are there to help defend 

us from harm, and are the reason 

we may feel at unease with the 

unfamiliar.” 

When our fight, flight, or freeze 

instincts are triggered, we often 

cannot choose how we will react – 

our bodies do so automatically. We 

can’t blame ourselves for how we 

instinctively respond to situations of 

high stress, anxiety, or trauma. But 

what can we do to help take back 

control of how we are thinking, 

feeling, and reacting to the constant 

stream of negativity and bad news 

we see in the media? 

How to combat it 

“One of the ways to combat mean 

world syndrome is by challenging 

the way we think,” says Beverley. 

“The first thought that pops into 

our head is what we call ‘automatic 

thinking’. This is our conditioning, 

whether those thoughts, or 

messages, were given by an 

attachment figure or the media, 

it was a repetitive message that 

played on our fear and it stuck. 

“Some questions we can ask in 

order to challenge ourselves are: 

is this thought fact or fiction? Am 

I thinking all-or-nothing thoughts? 

What real evidence is there that 

these thoughts will come true? 

Speaking with a counsellor may 

also be useful, as they can help to 

not only unravel these thoughts, 

but the right therapist can also 

help identify where they came 

from, thereby demystifying them.” 

Another good option is to ensure 

there is balance to your social 

media streams, by also following 

positive news outlets, or those 

that give a broader view of current 

events. Carefully selecting our 

news sources can help to balance 

out the negativity that can be rife, 

and provide you with some much 

needed uplifting news and events 

to act as a buffer. 

The important thing to 

remember is, that while it’s good 

to be aware of what’s happening 

in the world, the saturation 

of negative news, and the way 

stories can be portrayed, is often 

overwhelming. To protect your 

mental wellbeing, and ensure you 

see a more rounded view of events, 

we need to hunt out and savour the 

positive moments, too. 

Some questions 

we can ask to 

challenge ourselves 

are: is this thought 

fact or fiction? What 

real evidence is there 

that these thoughts 

will come true? 

NEWSFEED POSITIVITY: 

• Take stock of who you’re 

following on social media. 

Is your feed filled with good 

vibes, or knee-jerk reactions 

to negative headlines? 

Don’t be afraid to mute 

or unfollow people if they 

aren’t right for you at the 

moment. 

• Pick your sources carefully. 

Online news platforms like 

Positive News and the Good 

News Network provide 

a daily dose of positivity 

without cutting you off from 

the latest headlines. If print 

media’s more your thing, 

The Happy Newspaper or 

Happiful magazine are 

available via subscription or 

in stores across the country. 

• Be kind to yourself. We all 

go through bad patches. 

It’s OK to put yourself first. 

If things are feeling too 

heavy, take a break from 

the media and come back 

when you’re in a stronger 

place. Your wellbeing 

should always come first. 


A practical guide 

to self-care...with Grace 

with Grace 

When we’ve never been taught to nourish ourselves – mind, body, 

and soul – it’s not surprising that so many of us feel burnt-out and 

overwhelmed by the world around us. But here, columnist Grace Victory 

shares essential steps towards accepting that your health and wellbeing 

matter, plus ways to start taking better care of yourself today 

The concept of ‘self-care’ 

was first introduced to me 

in 2016, when my therapist 

at the time asked: “So what 

do you do to look after yourself?” 

And I didn’t have an answer. 

I was 26 years old, and seriously 

lacking the knowledge of how 

to care for myself in a way that 

was kind, intentional, and multidimensional. 

Back then, I was 

the queen of self-sabotage; I used 

food as a coping mechanism, and 

the thoughts I had about myself, 

particularly my own body, were 

horrendous. 

In the beginning, the idea of 

self-care felt like too much for me. 

I hadn’t put my health first before, 

so when I started to treat myself 

with love, it felt foreign. There was 

a complete disconnect from my 

inner child, adult, and ego – I was 

blind to who I really was, because I 

never took the time to actually face 

her. Self-care forced me to slow 

down, and ultimately led to me 

knowing myself on a profoundly 

deep level. Of course, therapy and 

emotional education helped, but 

my life changed when I began to 

value myself through taking care of 

me – mind, body, and soul. 

The problem is that self-care is 

rarely taught, especially where 

childhood trauma is concerned. 

So many of us are operating from 

a place of disconnect because of 

trauma. Society as a whole is in 

a constant fight-or-flight mode, 

just trying to survive, and add 

systemic racism, systemic fat 

biases, and a global pandemic, 

self-care can often be the last 

thing on people’s minds. 

So how do you know when some 

self-care is in desperate need? 

Listen to your body. Are you tired? 

Stressed? Physically unwell? 

Overspending? Arguing with loved 

ones? Thinking you’re not good 

enough? Always working? These 

are just some of the tell-tale signs 

that you are struggling to take care 

of yourself. 

In my opinion, self-care is our 

lifeline. It is the way in which we 

can come home to ourselves, feel 

connected and balanced, and 

ultimately lead a more fruitful life. 

It is learning how to manage our 

finances, it is having boundaries 

with ourselves and others, it is 

saying no and not feeling guilty, 

it is feeling our emotions – even 

the ‘difficult’ ones – and it’s about 

stimulating ourselves in a way that 

makes us feel content. Here are 

just a few suggestions if you are 

searching for some inner peace. 

Sit with your feelings 

Often, our relationships break 

down due to miscommunication, 

and sometimes that’s because 

we listen to respond instead of 

listening to hear. Have you ever 

had a conversation with someone 

where you zone out, and think 

about all the things you want to 

say? I have! This can happen at 

work with a difficult boss, or at 

home with your partner – either 

way, it can lead to a heated 

argument where you both say 

things you don’t mean. 

Self-care forced 

me to slow down, 

and led to me 

knowing myself 

on a profoundly 

deep level

@GRACEFVICTORY 

I learned the importance of 

evening routines when I worked 

in a children’s care home. If I 

dimmed the lights, made them 

warm drinks, and we collapsed on 

the sofa an hour before bedtime, 

the kids would sleep so much 

better. In the mornings we need to 

give our nervous systems a chance 

to wake up, and in the evenings, 

we need to give them a chance to 

calm down. So, at night, make your 

space cosy and chilled, to prepare 

you to switch off and rest. Again, 

define what this means for you, but 

eliminating any harsh lighting is a 

good place to start. 

A great way to slow down and 

prevent this from happening is 

to sit with any feelings that arise 

before you respond. I am known 

to say: “Give me 10 minutes to 

respond as I need to process how 

I feel,” and 99.9% of the time this 

allows me a moment to reflect. Of 

course, responding in this way, 

and advocating for yourself, can be 

extremely difficult, but over time it 

really does get easier. Sitting with 

your feelings is a way to connect to 

yourself, learn your subconscious 

triggers, and to start processing 

your feelings. 

Develop routines 

Nothing screams self-care like 

having a mindful morning and 

night-time routine. It doesn’t need 

to be long, but it does need to 

exist so you can start and close 

your day right – even if you’ve had 

difficulties in between those times. 

When you wake, set something 

in place that makes you feel good – 

maybe it’s a hot shower with music 

playing, and then a nutritious 

breakfast, or a quick walk in the 

park at sunrise and taking the time 

to journal. Whatever it is, define it 

and do it! 

Get creative 

A wonderful way to connect 

with your inner child is through 

play. Our inner children are the 

scared and silly ones, and no 

matter how old we think we are, 

our past selves are deep within 

us, often longing to be seen, felt, 

and accepted. We cannot go back 

and change our early childhood 

experiences, but now as adults we 

can honour our inner children, 

and connect to them. Whether 

it’s through painting, drawing, 

dancing, or writing poems and 

stories, anything that is playful 

and creative helps to ground us, 

and come home to ourselves. Love 

yourself enough to give time to 

every part of you. We are never too 

grown up to play! 

Love 

Grace x

How to beat the 

3pm slump 

Do you often lose concentration and find yourself devoid of energy 

in the afternoon? If so, you’re not alone – but there are ways to 

boost both your vitality, and your productivity… 

Writing | Claire Munnings 

Come 3pm, and most 

of us are seriously 

flagging. Our energy 

levels are low, our 

brains are foggy, and yet there are 

still a good couple of hours before 

we can think about stopping for 

the day. And to make matters 

worse, our new working habits 

can often compound this issue. 

With many of us squeezed in 

small spaces at home, and dealing 

with a never-ending schedule of 

Zoom meetings and emails, it’s 

little wonder we can sometimes 

feel sapped of motivation. 

According to experts, there are 

lots of reasons why we experience 

a 3pm slump – including the way 

we treat our body through the day. 

“If you regularly hit an energy wall 

in the afternoon when you can’t 

think straight, or get irritated with 

colleagues or family members, 

then you are probably stuck on 

a blood sugar rollercoaster,” 

explains certified health coach 

Suzy Glaskie, who adds that our 

sedentary lifestyles have a part to 

play, too. 

But, as she says, with a few simple 

tweaks, you can see your energy 

levels soar. Try the following 

advice and reap the rewards… 

START THE DAY RIGHT 

The way you begin your morning 

can have a big impact on how 

you feel throughout the day, 

and making time for a healthy 

breakfast can help keep your blood 

sugar levels – and your energy – 

stable. “Ditch breakfast cereals 

and all the other processed junk 

that’s pitched as a ‘healthy start to 

the day’,” advises Suzy. “Instead, 

choose to eat some high-quality 

protein and good fats; these will 

keep you feeling full and your 

blood sugar stable.” Avocado on 

whole-grain toast with eggs is an 

ideal option. 

HAVE A GLASS OF WATER 

Go on, admit it – how much 

water do you regularly drink in 

a day? For the vast majority of 

us, it’s not nearly enough to keep 

our body functioning at its best. 

“Even the mildest dehydration 

of only 1–2% can damage your 

ability to concentrate, your level 

of alertness, and your short-term 

memory function,” Suzy warns. 

Not a fan of plain H 2 

O? Add slices 

of cucumber, lemon or orange to 

your glass, infuse your liquid with 

fresh berries, or enhance the taste 

with herbs such as basil or mint. 

TAKE YOUR LUNCH BREAK 

Yes, we know it can be tempting 

to power on through your lunch 

break, but this isn’t necessarily 

good for your afternoon 

concentration levels. Research 

has found that workers feel 

refreshed and recharged after 

a break from work, and other 

studies have revealed how getting 

outside in nature, doing exercise, 

or enjoying a meditation session, 

can boost our motivation – all of 

which can be perfect lunchtime 

pursuits. 

INCLUDE PROTEIN IN 

YOUR LUNCH 

Making sure you’re eating enough 

good quality protein throughout 

the day can keep you feeling 

buoyant, and ready to focus. 

Swap your usual packet of crisps 

for some nuts, and reduce sugary, 

processed snacks such as biscuits 

as much as possible. Also think 

carefully about your lunchtime 

food choices. “If you’re having 

a salad for lunch, make sure it 

includes protein – top it with 

last night’s chicken or salmon, 

and throw in some pumpkin or 

sunflower seeds for extra healthy 

fats,” recommends Suzy.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH 

A lack of oxygen can severely 

impact our ability to focus on a 

task, and many of us are guilty of 

breathing in a shallow way that 

doesn’t make the most of our 

lung capacity – especially if we’re 

feeling stressed at work. “The 7/11 

breathing practice can help you 

feel more grounded, alert, and 

clear-headed,” Suzy says. “This 

involves breathing in to the count 

of seven, and then out to the count 

of 11, slowly and deeply through 

your nose. If you can, place one 

hand on your stomach – you 

should feel it rising and falling 

with each breath. Keep going for 

a couple of minutes, and see how 

much better you feel.” 

STAND UP 

Sitting down all day isn’t good for 

our physical or mental health, as 

Suzy explains. “Being stuck in a 

seated position can lead to ‘stuck’ 

thinking, blunt our creativity, and 

leave us feeling lethargic,” she 

says. “In this way, just the mere 

act of standing up can shift our 

thinking – so get up from your 

desk and stretch every half hour or 

so.” Why not try our stretches on 

p78? If you’re working from home, 

consider investing in a standing 

desk, or making all your phone 

calls standing up. If you’re back 

in the office, try to set aside time 

to stand up and move – you could 

even download an app to your 

phone to remind you to do this. 

Studies have 

revealed how 

getting outside 

in nature, doing 

exercise, or enjoying 

a meditation 

session, can boost 

our motivation 

TURN ON YOUR HEADPHONES 

Research has shown that 

listening to music can help your 

concentration levels, and Suzy 

agrees. “Listening to music is one 

of the most enjoyable ways to shift 

our energy and emotional state,” 

she says. “Whether you’re into 

Beyoncé or Beethoven, put some 

music on that you love, and let it 

wash over you.” 

Suzy Glaskie is a functional medicine 

certified health coach, founder of 

Peppermint Wellness, and host of the 

Wellness Unwrapped podcast. Find out 

more at peppermintwellness.co.uk 

Claire Munnings is a health and 

wellbeing journalist. She enjoys 

writing about how we can live more 

mindfully and be kind to our bodies 

and minds. 


THE 

MENTAL 

IMPACT 

OF IVF 

More than 20,000 IVF babies are born in the UK each year. But, for every 

success, there are many heartbreaks. Could more be done to support 

the mental health of those going through the stress of fertility treatment? 

Writing | Jenna Farmer 

Artwork | Charlotte Reynell 

Injecting yourself night after 

night. Endless prodding while 

the sonographer figures out 

whether your lining is perfect, 

and your follicles are the optimum 

size. Then, it’s time to go under 

anaesthetic to collect your eggs; to 

jump every time the phone rings as 

you wait to find out which embryos 

made the cut, until the time comes 

to put them back in again. 

Time slows down – from waiting 

to get started (something that can 

take years due to NHS waiting lists, 

or saving to self-fund), to waiting to 

see if it’s actually worked. 

If you’re reading this and nodding 

along, then chances are you’ve 

experienced IVF. 

I sometimes feel a fraud for 

talking about how IVF affected my 

mental health. Why? Because I was 

one of the lucky ones. I was one of 

the large percentage of women for 

whom IVF didn’t work but, after 

the tears had dried, I found out 

that I had naturally fallen pregnant 

with my son. 

Yet, since my son celebrated his 

first birthday, I realised how much 

my failed IVF played a part in my 

antenatal and postnatal anxiety. 

And it’s only now that I’ve felt 

ready to talk about it. 

To tell or not to tell? 

Women are often told to keep their 

pregnancy hidden until they’re 

in the ‘safe zone’ (although, there 

really is no such thing), making 

IVF an isolating experience. 

Fertility issues can affect mental 

health before IVF has even begun 

(a study showed that women 

undergoing IVF were more likely 

to experience depression), and this 

is exacerbated by the fact many tell 

no one what they’re going through. 


We feel our body has let 

us down with infertility. 

This feeling is further 

heightened during an IVF 

cycle when we have so 

much hope, mixed with fear 

I hid the hospital trips, the 

injections, and the side-effects, 

from everyone but my husband 

and parents; creating anxiety 

over turning down work without 

explanation, or cancelling plans 

because my egg collection was 

suddenly moved forward. 

But telling terrified me – with the 

pressure of ‘any news?’ messages, 

and the pain of telling someone it 

hasn’t worked when you’ve barely 

processed it yourself. 

It’s difficult to know exactly how 

you’ll cope when you see a stark 

white pregnancy test. Telling the 

few I had confided in was awful. 

And yet, equally, having to go on as 

normal with those I hadn’t, was just 

as painful. 

Is there a right choice? Mandy 

Worsley, a freedom fertility specialist 

who herself has been through six 

IVF cycles, says: “One of the burdens 

we carry around is the fact that we 

are having fertility issues, as it can be 

a very private journey. 

“But research shows that not feeling 

able to share with our close family 

and friends, can add to our stress 

levels. I encourage those undergoing 

IVF to choose a support network 

who will help them at this very 

emotional time,” explains Mandy. 

The blame game 

Much of my anxiety has always 

stemmed around control, so when 

IVF failed, my question was: what 

did I do wrong? It’s hard to accept 

that IVF is very much a numbers 

game, so my brain would attempt 

to answer an unsolvable question. 

Was it that glass of wine I drank, 

or did I overdo it the day after 

transfer? 

It’s something Mandy Worsley 

knows well. “As women, we feel >>> 


our body has let us down with 

infertility,” she says. “This feeling 

is further heightened during an 

IVF cycle when we have so much 

hope, mixed with fear. Having 

been a nurse for 26 years, I trained 

in emotional health support, 

and specialised in fertility. The 

work I do aims to help people 

reprogram these thought patterns 

by understanding how our brain 

works, and how our emotions have 

a real physical impact on our body.” 

When IVF fails 

I can always remember somebody 

telling me that my failed cycle 

wasn’t a miscarriage. And, 

perhaps, technically it wasn’t, but 

the overwhelming sense of grief 

remained. 

For all purposes, I was pregnant 

until, just like that, I wasn’t. An 

IVF failure occurs earlier than a 

miscarriage, so usually medical 

intervention isn’t necessary. I was 

simply told to give my body a few 


If I hadn’t had a successful 

pregnancy with all the 

medical intervention I’d 

been given, how could my 

body do it alone? 

months to recover. My menstrual 

cycle reset itself soon enough, but 

what about my mind? 

When I fell pregnant naturally, 

two months later, IVF changed 

how I viewed my pregnancy. I was 

constantly cautious, and waiting for 

something to go wrong. After all, if 

I hadn’t had a successful pregnancy 

with all the medical intervention I’d 

been given, how could my body do 

it alone? 

It is a cautiousness which 

remains. I have one embryo ‘in the 

freezer’, and I’d like to think if I try 

IVF for a second time, I’ll be more 

open and forgiving of myself. But, 

in all honesty, I don’t know if I’m 

strong enough to go through it all 

again yet. 

When IVF works 

It’s important to remember that IVF 

is an innovation that has changed 

so many lives. So, what happens 

if it works? Well perhaps we 

underestimate how much support 

those women still need, too. 

Denise Stringer, who runs dog 

business Slumbering Hound, fell 

pregnant at 37 with her last 

fertilised egg after three IVF 

cycles. Later, in her 40s, she had 

a miscarriage. “I’m one of the 

lucky ones and have an almost 

13-year-old daughter, but IVF had 

a profound impact on my life, 

and 14 years ago it was a lot more 

difficult to talk about,” she says. 

“My pregnancy was tinged with 

worry the whole way through. 

I’d just accepted my infertility 

before falling naturally pregnant 

six years ago. I went on to 

miscarry and it brought back all 

of the grieving and distress of 

IVF. I think I’d have coped better 

if I’d have talked it all out when it 

was happening, but the support I 

had from the infertility network 

seemed to dry up when I had a 

baby. I’m so glad there are more 

avenues now.” 

Don’t suffer alone 

Whether you’re struggling with 

infertility, or dealing with fertility 

treatment, it’s important to know 

you’re not alone, and help is 

there. 

• Fertility Network is the national 

charity for anyone struggling with 

fertility issues. Their support line 

is run by a former fertility nurse, 

and can be accessed 10am to 

4pm Mondays, Wednesdays, and 

Fridays (0121 323 5025 or email 

support@fertilitynetworkuk.org). 

• World Childless Week (14–20 

September) is designed to shine 

a spotlight on those who are 

childless not through choice. 

• ‘Big Fat Negative’ is a podcast 

all about IVF and infertility 

(bigfatnegative.com). 

• For friends and family who want 

to show support, Brown Paper 

Packages sell a baby loss and 

miscarriage care box to support 

women (available from £24, 

brownpaperpackages.co.uk). 

Jenna Farmer is a freelance journalist 

who specialises in perinatal mental 

health, and gut health. She has Crohn’s 

disease, and you can read more on her 

blog at abalancedbelly.co.uk 


“ 

You can’t use up creativity. The 

more you use, the more you have 

MAYA ANGELOU 

Photography | Marco Xu

The gratitude 

attitude 

Writing | Katie Hoare 

Is there any feeling more 

satisfying for the soul than 

practising some daily gratitude? 

It can have a truly positive effect 

on your mood and perspective, 

with numerous studies revealing 

it has a significant impact on both 

your physical and mental health. 

And the idea is simple really – 

practising gratitude is about truly 

appreciating the things in our life 

that serve us well. 

But when times are tough, it can 

be hard to think of anything we’re 

grateful for, because sometimes 

we’re not able to see the light 

at the end of the tunnel, or the 

silver lining. This is why using a 

gratitude board to create a habit 

of daily practise can be just the 

trick to help get you into a positive 

mindset. 

A gratitude board captures the 

people, places, pets, experiences, 

and anything else in your life that 

brings you joy, and you’re thankful 

for. It can be words, images, crafts, 

whatever resonates with you or 

evokes a happy memory each time 

you look at it. Here’s a quick guide 

to get you started with your own 

gratitude board. 

GET IN THE MINDSET 

We can often get sucked into 

constantly thinking “What’s next?”, 

forgetting to live in the moment or 

relish those former experiences 

that brought us to the here and now. 

Find a quiet place and 

take five minutes to sit 

and reflect. Try to recall 

memories that instantly 

make you feel good. 

It can help to prompt 

your thoughts by asking 

yourself: “What am I 

grateful for today, this 

month, this year?” 

You will need: 

• Glue and staples 

• Scissors 

• A corkboard or poster board 

• Coloured pens and paper 

• Meaningful photos 

START SIMPLE 

Focus on some of the common 

things we find gratitude for – the 

immediate things that come to 

mind. This could be your pet, a 

best friend, or a roof over your 

head. You could represent these 

with a friendship bracelet, a 

picture of your pet, or a cuddly toy. 

BE SPECIFIC 

Once you’ve covered some 

common ground, try focusing 

on specific experiences that 

are unique to you. Did you 

have a teacher at school who 

revolutionised education for you, 

or a past love that changed your 

perspective? These may be fleeting 

moments or current relationships, 

but they all contribute to your 

experience of gratitude. 

FOCUS ON FEELINGS 

Gratitude is all about a feeling, 

but try not to be too literal. If you 

can recall a moment when you 

felt completely free, try adding a 

picture of a bird, or get creative 

with your feeling of joy and paint 

a rainbow. Anything that connects 

with you deserves a place up there. 

KEEP IT VISIBLE 

To ensure an attitude of gratitude 

becomes a daily practise, keep 

your board somewhere visible 

where you will see it every 

day. Whether it is next to the 

bathroom mirror, or on the fridge 

door, having a daily space to 

reflect will set you up for a more 

positive day ahead. 

You could even use this as a 

prompt to practise a daily gratitude 

journal, a chance to check-in with 

yourself, wipe the slate clean, and 

start the new day afresh.

THINK 

LIKE A 

MONK 

When it comes to finding your 

purpose, Jay Shetty has been on 

quite a unique personal journey. But 

now, the former monk-turned-global 

keynote speaker, life coach, and host 

of number one podcast ‘On Purpose’ 

is sharing the insight and wisdom 

he’s learned over the years, to help 

transform your mindset 

Writing | Gemma Calvert

“ I’m excited to read this article, 

because I’ve shared so many 

things I haven’t said before,” 

declares Jay Shetty as we bid 

farewell. It’s been an enlightening 

hour in the company of a man who, 

only a decade ago, after graduating 

from London’s Cass Business 

School, swapped slick suits for 

saffron robes, and abandoned his 

pursuit of corporate life to become 

a Vedic monk. 

For three years, Jay’s existence 

was devoted to service and 

purpose. He spent hours each day 

studying Buddhist teachings and 

volunteering until, encouraged by 

his elders, he left to share what he 

had learned with the world. 

Since then, the global appetite for 

Jay’s teachings has been insatiable. 

His motivational videos on life, love, 

business, and health have been 

viewed by more than 7.5 billion 

people. A-listers – from Russell 

Brand, to Deepak Chopra – line up 

to appear on his podcast, and as a 

go-to for purpose, positivity, and 

wellbeing guidance, Jay, 32, is one 

of the most respected motivational 

speakers on the planet. 

To learn that Happiful has 

elicited some fresh thinking from 

such a spiritual mastermind is, 

naturally, thrilling. Speaking from 

the LA home he shares with wife 

Radhi, Jay is in the midst of a 

promotional drive for his debut 

book, Think Like A Monk: Train 

your mind for peace and purpose 

every day, and our conversation 

explores how detaching from our 

so-called “monkey mind” is the 

key to living a less anxious, more 

meaningful life, improving focus 

and relationships, and clearing 

roadblocks to achieve our true 

potential and power. 

“The monkey jumps from branch 

to branch, gets distracted, and is 

easily entertained – and the monkey 

mind is the same,” says Jay. “It goes 

along in default, autopilot, numb 

mode. The monk mind stops to 

observe, be present, gain awareness, 

and is proactive, not reactive. It is 

constantly trying to find ways to 

improve, as opposed to finding ways 

to instantly gratify. We all need a 

little bit of guidance in our lives.” 

Here, as he shares his top tips for 

thinking like a monk, Jay reveals 

how teachings from 3,000 years ago 

are still as relevant today as then… 

Audit your time and energy 

The first way of thinking like a 

monk is to get into alignment. For 

a lot of us, we think one thing, 

say another, and do something 

else, and consequently feel out 

of alignment. Ask yourself what 

you value, and does your time, 

schedule, and energy reflect that? 

If I asked you, “What do you value 

more: being happy or watching 

TV?”, you’d probably say, “Being 

happy.” But when I say, “What do 

you spend more time on?”, you 

might say, “Watching TV.” 

Wisdom traditions teach us that 

the majority of stress and pain we 

experience is because we live in 

the past or future, so you need to 

think, “Where in my life can I start 

implementing habits that make me 

more present?” 

One of my favourite tips is the 

acronym T.I.M.E. – thankfulness, 

insight, meditation, and exercise. 

Just as we must feed our body 

every day to stay alive, we need to 

feed our mind and soul, too. 

Connect to your breath 

A younger monk once told me 

that the only thing that stays 

with us from the moment we’re 

born to when we die is our 

breath. What changes when you 

experience different emotions? 

Your breath. If you’re late for 

work, nervous, or feeling stressed, 

your breath changes. Most of 

us become fiction writers when 

feeling pressure. You create a 

story in your head about what’s 

happening in your life that’s not 

based on fact. Breathing helps 

bring clarity, and returns you to 

the present moment. By learning 

to navigate breath, we can 

navigate our emotions. Breathing 

is a very tangible experience 

of meditation. As you breathe 

deeper, you can feel your heart 

beat slower, and your body calm 

down. So get meditating! 

Get honest about using 

social media 

Whatever’s on your newsfeed feeds 

your mind, so be selective about 

what you’re exposed to, and set 

boundaries. You might say, “I’m 

really passionate about starting >>> 


this social entrepreneurship 

business,” but realise that for the 

last few weekends you’ve spent 

your time scrolling on social 

media. When you stare at it in the 

face, almost like a mirror, you’ll 

feel the enthusiasm and energy to 

redress the balance. 

Photography | Steve Erle 

Reframe negative 

internal dialogue 

Become aware of what triggers 

feelings of unkindness or 

judgement towards ourselves. 

Is it a feeling from the past? Is 

it a statement from a friend or 

family member? Every time you 

spot yourself talking negatively 

to yourself, reflect on it and say, 

“Why am I having this thought? Do 

I really deserve this?”, then swap it 

with a different statement. Instead 

of saying, “I am so exhausted,” say 

“I am energised when I exercise.” 

The mind then trains itself to 

think, “I can feel energised or 

productive when I do this activity.” 

Don’t write-off other people 

When dealing with a challenging 

person who has negative habits, 

remember they’re a human being, 

and their negative experiences have 

conditioned them. Ask yourself, 

“Do I have the strength to uplift 

this person, or do I end up being 

dragged downwards?” If it’s [the 

latter], chances are you need space 

to strengthen before you can uplift 

that person. Sometimes you might 

not be the person who can inspire 

them, but you can introduce them 

to someone who can. 

Own your failures 

I’m not proud of what I did in my 

teens. I experimented with drugs, 

fought, and drank too much. I 

hurt people and caused pain. In 

the monk mind, it’s important to 

use those mistakes as anchors to 

keep us humble and grounded, 

so we never take for granted how 

hard growth and evolution is. 

In the monk mind, 

it’s important to use 

mistakes as anchors 

to keep us humble 

and grounded, 

so we never take 

for granted how 

hard growth and 

evolution is 

When we grow and evolve, it’s easy 

to think of everyone else as ‘less 

than’. When you remember where 

you came from, you realise we’re all 

on our own journeys, and all have 

our own process of growth. Most 

of us believe that forgiveness is 

about the other person. We wait for 


My biggest test 

has been living 

my passion and 

purpose in a world 

that forces us into 

safety and security 

others to say sorry, or for them to 

change. You may be waiting forever 

and while you’re waiting, you’re 

worrying about someone you have 

no power over. Try implementing 

unconditional forgiveness. It frees 

us from that worry. 

Serve others… but first 

serve yourself 

Service makes us happy, because 

it creates the deepest connection 

with another human. Scientific 

studies show that you’re always 

happier when you spend money 

or time on others rather than 

yourself. In the monk tradition, 

when you take care of your health, 

add self-love, and then serve, that 

service is fully realised – but if 

you don’t manage your health and 

apply self-love, the service feels 

like a burden. That’s why so many 

people feel overwhelmed by giving 

because they think, “Is someone 

helping me back?” You’ll be a 

better partner, parent, and person 

if you feel you’re giving yourself 

what you need. Of course, we need 

people in our lives who go out of 

their way for us, but doing things 

for ourselves fills us with so much 

more strength and confidence. 

Be what you need 

There’s a beautiful statement by 

Timber Hawkeye, which I love: 

“Don’t wait for the storm to calm, 

calm your mind and the storm 

will pass.” Instead of waiting for 

a perfect situation and the sunny 

day to feel happy – things we can’t 

control – become the sunny day. 

The monk mind [thinks], “Let me 

be what I need, let me not need 

it.” So if you need calm, become 

calm. So many of us, when we’re 

feeling pain or stress, search for a 

distraction. Instead, just sit with 

it and think, “OK stress, I see you, 

I know you’re there.” Understand 

the stress and talk to it. Stress is 

an emotion that’s trying to tell you 

something. Don’t ignore it. 

Get comfortable with conflict 

A 75-year Harvard study shows 

that the number one indicator for 

human happiness is the quality of 

our relationships. That quality isn’t 

based on the amount of people in 

our life, or attending our birthday 

or funeral, it’s about the depth that 

we feel understood. The majority 

of relationships fail because people 

don’t know how to deal with 

tough situations. Learn how to be 

comfortable having uncomfortable 

conversations. When you’re having 

a fight, remember it’s not you 

against each other, it’s both of 

you against the problem. Become 

a team against the challenge as 

opposed to thinking you’re on 

opposite sides. If in a relationship 

you want to win, and for the other 

person to lose, guess what? You 

both lose. The only way to win in a 

relationship is to realise you either 

win together, or lose together. 

Find your passion 

My biggest test has been living my 

passion and purpose in a world 

that forces us into safety and 

security. When I came back from 

India in 2013, people were saying, 

“Jay, you don’t have any money, 

you’d better just get a job to pay the 

bills.” I did that for a few years, but 

I realised I wasn’t satisfied. I had a 

passion and purpose to share what 

I’d learned, and through the monk 

teachings I learned to protect my 

purpose. A lot of people are scared 

of trying things, but how would 

it feel if we didn’t try? How scary 

would that be? I feel humbled and 

grateful for the life I live today, and 

that people take the time to listen 

to my podcasts, read my book, and 

learn from it. I hope I can continue 

to do that for many decades. 

‘Think Like a Monk’ by Jay Shetty 

(Harper Thorsons, £16.99) is out now. 


Photography | calicadoo 

“ 

EMILY DICKINSON 

I dwell in possibility

Unmasking the truth: 

the mental health crisis 

in the deaf community 

More so than ever before, the mental health of the deaf community is 

being impacted by world events – and yet awareness and support remains 

lacking. It’s time to read the signs, and lend a hand to those in need 

Writing | Kim McGregor 

The coronavirus 

pandemic has impacted 

the world greatly, and 

we’re all getting used to 

the ‘new normal’ list of 

leaving-the-house essentials – your 

keys, wallet, bag and face mask. 

And while putting on that mask is 

something most of us can manage 

just fine, for someone with a 

hearing impairment, putting on 

a mask can have a great impact. 

Face masks may protect us from 

the virus, but they also create 

more communication barriers for 

those in the deaf community. 

YouTuber and deaf awareness 

advocate Louise Goldsmith spoke 

of her struggles as a deaf person 

during the Covid-19 crisis. “I 

walked past a retail worker who 

smiled politely while wearing her 

mask, but what I didn’t realise was 

that she was speaking to me. It was 

only when my partner, Jack, who 

is hearing, pointed out she was 

complimenting my mask that I 

became aware.” >>>

But alongside these difficulties in 

communicating, Louise highlights 

how individuals have been 

kind and supportive during the 

pandemic. “Retail workers have 

been great – when I tell them I am 

deaf, they often lower their masks 

behind the clear screen so I can 

see their mouths.” 

As a lot of people with hearing 

impairments rely on mouth 

patterns and lip reading, wearing 

a mask has made many people 

feel more isolated. Since face 

masks have become mandatory, 

there has been no formal 

acknowledgement of support 

for the deaf community with 

regards to how they cope with 

this requirement. However, 

members of the public have taken 

the initiative to address the issue, 

with seamstresses creating masks 

with ‘windows’ to help those with 

hearing loss to see others’ mouths, 

while keeping faces covered. 

While it’s clear that Covid-19 has 

impacted the mental wellbeing of 

the deaf community, it’s important 

to be aware that even before the 

pandemic, deaf individuals have 

disproportionately struggled with 

mental health issues. Out of the 

66 million people living in the UK, 

11 million experience hearing 

loss. While we’re all familiar with 

the stats on one in four people in 

the UK experiencing mental illhealth, 

in the deaf community the 

prevalence of mental illness can 

range from 30–60%. The question 

is, why is mental illness more 

common for those with hearing 

impairments, and how we can help? 

The main thing it often comes 

down to is communication. Some 

Even before the 

pandemic, deaf 

individuals have 

disproportionately 

struggled with mental 

health issues 

deaf individuals feel incredibly 

isolated due to not being able to 

hear or speak with others easily, 

which can have a knock-on effect 

on their mental wellbeing. In 

particular, the Mental Health 

Foundation reports that childhood 

is the peak time for deaf people to 

experience mental health issues, 

with deaf children tending to show 

more signs of depression, anxiety, 

and low self-concept. 

Part of the issue could relate to 

being deaf within a mainstream 

school, which can result in a wide 

range of communication barriers. 

One report revealed that hearing 

individuals who are not confident 

in how to communicate with their 

deaf peers, may simply choose not 

to communicate at all. And yet, 

when communication between 

both deaf and hearing individuals 

is effective, this can greatly impact 

their development, with both 

being found to show an increase in 

intelligent speech, social skills, and 

positive interactions, according to 

a study published in The Journal of 

Deaf Studies and Deaf Education. 


It’s critical for deaf 

individuals to have 

access to interpreters in 

their therapy sessions, or 

to find a BSL counsellor 

SUPPORT FOR DEAF 

INDIVIDUALS: 

For those with hearing loss 

in need of support, or who just 

want to speak to someone, 

please visit signhealth.org.uk 

or actiononhearingloss.org.uk, 

who have amazing in-depth 

knowledge to help those who 

need it most. 

For hearing individuals who 

want to support the deaf 

community, Action Against 

Hearing Loss also accepts 

donations, or you can find out 

more about learning BSL at 

British-sign.co.uk. 

Another issue is the lack of 

information on mental illness 

provided to individuals with hearing 

loss, whether that be due to medical 

professionals not speaking British 

Sign Language, or the difficulty 

translating screening tools. In fact, 

research from the University of Bath 

revealed that only a small number 

of deaf individuals understood the 

term ‘psychosis’. This can result in 

people not being aware of the signs, 

symptoms, or that they should reach 

out for help. 

“It’s hard for deaf people to gain 

access to mental health services 

due to their inability to seek help,” 

explains Emma Baird, who has 

deaf relatives. A lot of health 

information outlets for hearing 

individuals – such as radio and TV 

– simply aren’t accessible for the 

deaf community. 

The good news is that in recent 

years, the number of mental 

health services that specifically 

target people with hearing loss has 

risen greatly, which, in turn, has 

meant that more deaf individuals 

are seeking help. In the UK, there 

are currently three specialised 

deaf mental health services – 

in Manchester, London, and 

Birmingham. 

However, having access to 

information and help is one thing, 

the next step of actually speaking 

out is another. A lot of hearing 

individuals will know how hard 

this can be, and for the deaf 

community there are even more 

challenges when doing so. 

When searching for face-toface 

therapy, it’s critical for 

deaf individuals to have access 

to interpreters in their therapy 

sessions, or to find a BSL 

counsellor. Interpreters would 

need to be booked in advance, 

and emergency appointments can 

cause even more disruptions and 

stress when trying to get help. 

It’s also worth bearing in mind 

that while therapy can be an 

incredibly useful tool for a lot of 

people, it’s not the right support 

for everyone. In particular, for 

some deaf people, requiring 

an interpreter may mean they 

feel unable to freely express 

themselves, or there could be a 

concern that something could get 

lost in translation. While there 

are a wide range of counsellors 

for hearing individuals, there are 

currently around 20 specialists who 

use BSL within the UK – so options 

are far more limited. 

Nowadays, and particularly since 

the increase in social restrictions, 

technology has helped to support 

our mental health. Minicams and 

text-phones are widely available 

in health services, which offer 

those with hearing loss more 

autonomy, plus there are many 

speech-to-text apps that people can 

download to support with real-time 

conversations. 

So while strides are being made 

with regards to providing more 

access to mental health support 

for the deaf community, it’s still so 

important for hearing individuals 

to raise awareness around the 

difficulties these individuals face, 

and what we can do to better 

support them. 

One way to support those with 

hearing loss is by learning the basics 

of BSL. As well as formal courses, 

thanks to lockdown restrictions, 

teachers and online information has 

never been so accessible, including 

via social media. 

A good person to follow is the 

deaf YouTuber Jazzy. She has the 

most positive attitude and uses 

BSL, but adds subtitles so hearing 

individuals can watch her vlogs, 

while also learning BSL! 

Kim McGregor is BSL level 1 teacher, 

and a hearing advocate for the deaf 

community. She is the founder of 

Help2Sign, which raises awareness of 

the hearing individuals learning sign. 

Instagram @help2sign. 


Photography | David Lezcano 

“ 

Develop a passion for learning. 

If you do, you will never 

cease to grow 

ANTHONY J D’ANGELO

TRUE LIFE 

Black Lives Matter 

opened the wounds 

I had tried to hide 

The global anti-racism protests convinced 

Jane it was time to embrace her heritage, 

stop trying to fit in, and confront the prejudice 

she had faced for years 

Writing | Jane Tran 

How did I cope, 

as a millennial 

Asian migrant, 

during the 

global anti-racism 

demonstrations? I was 

surprised how the Black 

Lives Matter movement 

really affected me. 

Everywhere I turned, in 

the news and on social 

media, white supremacy 

was mentioned. 

I had uncomfortable 

feelings that made me sick, 

and I became withdrawn. 

The image in my head was 

of New Year’s Eve 2011, 

and a young girl saying 

goodbye to her family, 

and boarding a flight to 

another country to pursue 

a ‘better’ life. 

The events of recent 

weeks have cracked open 

my past wounds, which I 

thought I had done such a 

great job in locking up. 

Coming to Australia 

from Vietnam to study, 

and calling this new 

country home, is the 

story of my younger self. 

The fantasy of living in a 

first world country for a 

person from a developing 

country is a dream 

come true, isn’t it? It’s a 

better life because of a 

more stable job, a more 

democratic government, 

so people have more 

freedom and can thrive. 

Most people perceive 

my journey as glamorous 

and comfortable. That’s 

because I only choose to 

show people what I want 

them to see. I don’t need 

anyone feeling sorry for 

me, because I would hate 

it even more than when 

they say “How privileged 

is she?” or “Who does she 

think she is?” 

Study and work have 

been my life since the 

moment I stepped on to 

Australian soil. It keeps 

me going and surviving. 

My family, and some of my 

friends, know how much 

of a toll this journey has 

taken on me. I still don’t 

like Christmas and New 

Year, as I feel so lonely as 

everyone celebrates with 

their family and friends. 

It took me four years 

of tears to finally get 

my degree. Then, after 

graduation, I was not 

allowed to apply for a 

particular job with a 

well-known organisation 

– even though I was fully 

qualified – simply because 

I was an international 

student. I felt so 

discriminated against. >>> 


The Black Lives 

Matter movement 

was pivotal for Jane 

I have come to terms with the 

fact that I am Vietnamese 

living in Australia, and I have 

an accent. This is a fact, and 

it has nothing to do with my 

worth as a human being 

Thankfully, I got a job in 

the private sector, and 

another visa allowing 

me to legally work in 

Australia. In 2017, I got 

my citizenship, which 

was such a big milestone. 

Now I would be treated 

fairly and equally. I was 

now one of them, an 

Australian. But the only 

question in my head the 

day after my citizenship 

ceremony was: “What 

now?” That piece of 

paper and an Australian 

passport still did not make 

me feel like I belonged. 

My Asian heritage is 

always the topic for 

conversation with white 

people. Some are more 

sensitive than others. 

People always ask: “Are you 

Chinese?” As a millennial 

migrant in Australia, you 

constantly hear: “You 

people look exactly the 

same”, “Are you speaking 

English?” or “You don’t look 

Vietnamese”, “So, where 

are you really from?” For 

years, I never knew what 

to say. 

The older generation of 

migrants laugh it off. My 

Asian friends, who are 

actually Australian with 

Asian backgrounds, have 

similar experiences, but 

they are born here so 

their accents are never 

brought up during a racist 

conversation. 

Looking back now, 

my heart breaks for my 

younger self. The only 

thing I felt safe enough to 

do was write everything in 

my diary. Looking back, 

I now realise how hard I 

had been trying to please 

the outside world with 

a cheerful smile, trying 

always to be recognised 

as an Australian, which I 

would never be. 

I have come to terms 

with the undeniable fact 

that I am Vietnamese 

living in Australia, and 

I have an accent. This is 

a fact, and it has nothing 

to do with my worth as 

a human being. More 

importantly, it should never 

be considered a weakness 

or a reason to be mentally 

bullied. 

All of these positive 

thoughts were triggered 

by the Black Lives Matter 

movement, and on my 29th 

birthday I decided: “Enough 

is enough.” I decided to 

change the narrative that I 

had been telling myself for 

the past nine years. 

In June 2020, I had my 

first Zoom call with a 

therapist. And guess what, 

she is white, a white ally. 

Ironically, it has taken two 

white people – my mentor 

and my therapist – to teach 

me to recognise what is 

racist and unacceptable. 

As my therapist says: 

“If you don’t stand up for 

yourself, what you are 

saying is ‘I don’t matter.’” It 

hit me hard. I realised that 


‘It took me four years of tears to 

finally get my degree’ 

I got caught in the idea 

of changing the whole 

culture, without doing my 

inner work first. We have 

to heal as an individual 

first, before healing the 

society. The society, 

after all, is made up of 

individuals. 

At this moment, I am 

taking things one day at a 

time, which requires a lot 

of physical and emotional 

courage. 

It has never been easy 

– even the decision to get 

professional help took me 

nearly two years after my 

worst mental breakdown. 

My story does not have 

a happy ending yet, as I 

am only starting to reveal 

who I truly am. For the 

past couple of years, I 

have been hiding behind 

a mask, trying to fit in, to 

be ‘more white’, to please 

others. But the more I try 

to fit in, the more I lose 

myself. 

It is not my job to teach white 

people about their supremacy 

– they need to do their own 

learning, and unlearning 

At least I am not walking 

on this path alone any 

more – my therapist is 

silently cheering for me. 

She is teaching me about 

what it actually does to 

my self-worth if I remain 

silent when treated 

unfairly. 

More importantly, the 

lesson that the anti-racism 

movement has taught me is 

that it is not my job to teach 

white people about their 

supremacy – they need to 

do their own learning, and 

unlearning. Moreover, I 

don’t tolerate their racist 

behaviour anymore. 

So how do I feel now? 

Happy? Peaceful? Not 

really. I feel more 

vulnerable, but more 

resilient. I can 100% say 

that I’m so proud of myself 

– and I have forgiven 

the younger me for not 

knowing any better. 

OUR EXPERT SAYS 

The Black Lives Matter 

movement’s message 

made Jane question the 

identity her younger 

self had accepted. She 

had lived behind a mask 

others had forced her to 

wear through prejudice 

and judgement. But the 

movement helped to start 

the process of change to 

find true self-worth and 

live authentically. It is 

still a work in progress 

for Jane, but it’s work that 

she can be truly proud 

of. Working on our true 

selves and having the 

vulnerability to show it 

to the world is 

hard for us all, 

and an even 

higher hurdle 

when facing 

intolerance. 

Graeme Orr | MBACP (Accred) counsellor 


Ask the experts 

Counsellor Katie Cakirer answers 

your questions on children’s mental 

health as they return to school 

Read more about Katie Cakirer 

on Counselling Directory 

QMy youngest 

(primary 

school age) is 

feeling worried about 

returning to school. 

Do you have any 

suggestions for how 

they can manage this, 

and what I can do to 

help them? 

As anxiety is largely based 

A on the fear of the unknown, 

preparation is key to managing 

those worries. Communication 

with the school, checking the 

website for any changes made, 

and hopefully pictures, are all 

incredibly useful. 

Reassure your child that 

although things may look a little 

different, there will be lots of 

things that stay the same. For 

example, seeing their friends, 

doing maths, English, and 

science classes, the building and 

playground, will largely be the 

same as well. Finding out about 

school lunches, drop off and pick 

up routines, can also be helpful. 

Information helps us to feel 

more in control, which in turn 

decreases the anxiety. 

Q 

Are there any 

warning signs 

I can look out 

for to tell if my child is 

struggling with being 

back at school? 

A 

Children display worries, 

anxieties, and insecurities 

in a variety of ways, including 

undereating or overeating, 

not sleeping well or sleeping 

too much, being clingy 

with particular ‘safe’ adults, 

constantly questioning things, 

being generally disruptive, or 

what may be described as 

‘misbehaving’. 

They could also be showing 

signs of being withdrawn by 

staying in their room a lot and 

not seeing friends, being 

particularly quiet, and maybe 

regressing in age-appropriate 

behaviours. If you are 

concerned about your child, it is 

important to communicate with 

their school, as staff may also 

report misbehaviour, difficulties 

with concentrating, or social 

problems such as falling out 

with friends. 

Counselling Directory is part of the Happiful Family | Helping you find the help you need

Top tips to help kids with the 

transition back to school 

1. Normalise and reassure. A 

lot of children will be feeling 

anxious with the return to 

school, and the changes that 

may be happening. Reassure 

them that they are not alone in 

their thinking, and help them to 

problem-solve to feel calmer. 

2. Gather information, and 

prepare them for the changes 

that may lie ahead. This will 

help them to know what to 

expect, and feel a sense of 

control over what they can do 

to feel less anxious. 

3. Communication is important. 

Sit down and talk, find out 

about their day, the best bits 

and the things they wanted 

to change. This will help build 

a secure relationship with 

your child, and you can offer 

support if it’s needed. 

Q 

My child has 

become used 

to being with 

us in lockdown, and is 

worried about being 

apart. Do you have 

ideas on how we can 

help them cope with 

the separation? 

Reassurance is important, 

A but don’t ‘over-reassure’, as 

your child may interpret that as 

confirmation there’s something 

to worry about! Gentle 

reassurance and distraction 

works. Transitional objects can 

work well with kids, so maybe 

they could take something small 

in their bag that reminds them 

of you, which would reassure 

them, and psychologically 

connect to you. 

It’s good to take the focus off 

the worry by having fun things to 

do when they get home. I always 

use an evidence base with 

anxiety, to show that when they 

were worried about X yesterday, 

and their day went fine, they 

have evidence that today 

would likely be the same, which 

minimises the worry.

Happiful free 

downloads 

Child panic attack support poster 

DIY self-care 

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Postive mantra 

cards 

Printable vision 

board kit 

Download free at shop.happiful.com

Be kind to 

your body 

There are moments when 

we all speak negatively 

to our bodies, but it’s time 

to stop begrudging our 

stretch marks, moaning 

about our shape, or 

resenting our poor eyesight 

– and instead remember 

just how wonderful our 

bodies really are... 

Writing | Claire Munnings 

Our bodies are amazing 

– they help us explore 

the world around us, 

and enable us to live 

our best lives possible, and yet, 

so often we grumble about them, 

and treat them with contempt. 

But what if we tried switching 

our mindset and celebrated our 

bodies instead of resenting them? 

“We’ve all become used to the 

idea that there’s a ‘perfect’ body,” 

says Lana Walker, a holistic 

massage therapist, and EFT 

practitioner. “But that’s not reality. 

The truth is that the human body 

comes in a huge range of sizes, 

shapes, and differences, and that’s 

to be celebrated. Our bodies do 

an amazing job, and we need to 

applaud that.” 

With so many pressures on us 

to look a certain way, perhaps it’s 

little wonder that our self-esteem 

can sometimes take a hit. And of 

course, with the added stresses of 

lockdown – and the heightened 

focus on what we’re eating and 

how we’re exercising – many of 

us haven’t been able to escape 

from our individual body hangups 

in the past few months. 

Worryingly, a number of 

eating disorder charities have 

reported a sharp rise in demand 

for their services since we 

entered lockdown, with charity 

BEAT saying calls to its helpline 

increased by 50%. And this is the 

problem: disliking our bodies 

can have a serious impact on our 

physical and emotional wellbeing. 

In fact, research suggests that 

a poor body image can be 

associated with a poorer quality 

of life, anxiety, psychological 

distress, and a higher risk of 

unhealthy eating behaviours. 

So what’s the answer? “Certainly 

not looking in the mirror and 

feeding ourselves with more selfhatred,” 

says Carly Chamberlain, 

a holistic health expert. “We 

must break this cycle by moving 

forward with positive internal 

dialogue, and other acts of selflove 

and self-worth. 

“Having space and time is the 

real key to connecting with 

ourselves, and tuning-in to our 

body’s needs,” she adds. “We 

need to reset, stop punishing 

ourselves, and cease sabotaging 

our greatness.” 

Keen to put this into practice? 

Our experts share their advice… 

REPEAT POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS 

Changing your internal dialogue 

and the way you speak to yourself 

is the first step in altering your 

perception, according to both >>>

Lana and Carly. “Positive body 

affirmations are very important 

in changing your mindset, 

and therefore how you feel,” 

Lana explains. “Your mind 

has learnt its negative beliefs 

through years of repetition, 

but by incorporating positive 

affirmations into your life every 

day, you’ll soon feel the benefits.” 

TRY THIS: Lana recommends 

focusing on three parts of your 

body that you (think you) don’t 

like, and considering ways in 

which you can appreciate them. 

Write these affirmations down on 

some Post-It notes, and display 

them where you’ll see them 

regularly. “These affirmations 

could be things like: ‘I love my 

freckles – they are unique to 

me,’” she says. “Another powerful 

affirmation is simply, ‘I am 

enough.’ This works for all the 

aspects of your entire life, and 

reinforces the fact that right now, 

you are enough.” 

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY 

How often do you stop to check-in 

with how you’re really feeling? The 

truth is probably very rarely, but 

as Carly explains, by taking note 

of what our bodies are doing and 

what they may need, we can help 

them function better, and improve 

our relationship with them. “If 

we’re too busy and chaotic, we 

can’t hear (or we may ignore) the 

messages our body is trying to 

give us,” she says. “Whether it’s a 

niggling ache in our shoulders, a 

monthly headache, or an ongoing 

knee pain, these are all red flags 

that tell us our system needs 

nourishment, support, and a 

possible shift in our habits.” 

We need to reset, 

stop punishing 

ourselves, and 

cease sabotaging 

our greatness 

TRY THIS: Many experts 

recommend a five-minute body 

scan meditation to help you listen 

to what’s going on inside. Simply 

sit or lie somewhere comfortable, 

close your eyes, and take deep 

breaths. Draw your attention to 

your feet, taking note if you feel 

any specific sensations. Gradually 

move your focus up through 

your legs and torso, all the while 

checking in with how you feel, 

and tuning-in to the different 

parts of your body. Continue 

mentally scanning your form 

until you reach your head, and 

finish the meditation with a few 

deep breaths. 

USE SOOTHING TOUCH 

Enjoying the feeling of your own 

hands on your body can feel like 

an indulgence you don’t have 

time for, but spending a few 

minutes massaging your limbs 

and gently stroking your face, 

can promote feelings of self-love, 

and allow you to appreciate all 

aspects of your form. 

TRY THIS: Lana recommends 

using self-massage techniques 

to connect with your body, and

show it some kindness. Start 

by pouring some oil into your 

hands (this can be olive, coconut 

or vegetable oil if you don’t have 

massage oil), and slowly move 

it around in your palms and 

fingertips. “Let yourself slow 

down,” she advises. “Gently 

place your oiled hands on top 

of your chest, below your neck. 

Then gently move your hands 

around your shoulders, with 

smooth, slow strokes. After 

you’ve massaged your shoulders, 

move up towards the back of 

your neck, always avoiding the 

spine. You can then move your 

hands around your face, starting 

from under the jaw, and moving 

upwards to around your eyes 

and eyebrows. Your hands will 

naturally gravitate to a place that 

feels good. Enjoy that feeling, 

and know you can show your 

body self-love at any time.” 

STRETCH 

The simple act of stretching has 

been enjoying somewhat of a 

resurgence in recent years, after 

being seriously under-rated for 

too long. Not only can stretching 

help improve blood-flow and 

enhance our posture, but it can 

also enable your body to work 

more effectively. 

Carly is a big fan of yogainspired 

stretches for this reason. 

“Practising holistic movement 

is the key to systemic balance in 

the body,” she says. “Stretching 

moves that are founded on the 

ancient science of yoga take 

into consideration both the 

strengthening and stretching 

of the agonist (prime moving 

muscles), and the antagonist 

muscles in the whole body.” 

TRY THIS: Carly recommends 

a number of yoga stretches: 

“A standing forward bend is a 

great grounding technique that 

encourages us to reach for the 

earth, stretching out the spine 

from the top of the neck to the 

bottom of the coccyx. Start by 

squeezing the tummy muscles, 

bending the knees, and rolling 

the body forward into a folded, 

hanging rag doll. Drop the head 

and arms towards the ground, 

and gently move your back from 

side to side to feel a nice stretch, 

and use deep, slow breathing.” 

The cobra also offers a really 

great stretch for the thighs, 

hips, stomach, and throat, she 

adds, and a spinal twist can help 

strengthen our core, spine, and 

back muscles, too. 

BREATHE DEEPLY 

How you breathe can have a 

dramatic impact on the way you 

feel, and by breathing deeper we 

can be kinder to our bodies, and 

give them the tools they need to 

function efficiently. 

“We all know how to breathe. 

It’s simple, isn’t it? Well, yes and 

no. Sometimes, we breathe in 

a shallow way, and we’re not 

getting oxygen into the full 

capacity of our lungs,” says Lana. 

“Lungs can expand more than 

you think, and we need to take 

advantage of that.” 

TRY THIS: “Begin by placing one 

hand on the top of your chest, 

just below your neck,” Lana says. 

“Place the other hand on your 

belly. Breathe at your normal 

depth and pace, and see how 

much your lower hand moves. 

If it’s not moving, visualise your 

DON’T PUNISH YOURSELF 

Do you constantly berate yourself 

for reaching for a tub of ice cream 

instead of a banana? Stop! There 

are times when we need to be 

extra sensitive to our needs and 

mental wellbeing, says Carly – 

and the global pandemic we are 

all facing is one such instance. 

“Rather than punishing ourselves 

for a lack of discipline, we could 

look at this situation through 

a different lens,” says Carly. 

“We can’t always be expected 

to mainain discipline when 

experiencing trauma. This is when 

we often revert to comfort, safety 

and stability wherever we can find 

it – and this is part of our human 

survival mechanism.” 

lungs expanding to allow the 

oxygen into the lower part of 

your lungs. When this happens, 

you’ll feel your lower hand move 

out, and once you get the hang 

of this, you’ll be able to bellybreathe 

whenever you need it.” 

Claire Munnings is a health and 

wellbeing journalist. She enjoys 

writing about how we can live more 

mindfully and be kind to ourselves. 

Lana Walker is a holistic 

massage therapist and 

EFT practitioner, and the 

founder of Body and Mind 

Holistics. Find out more at 

bodyandmindholistics.co.uk 

Carly Chamberlain has 15 years’ 

experience in holistic health, and 

is the author of ‘Listening 

through my Hands: What 

is your body saying to you’ 

(Filament Publishing, 

£10.99). Find out more at 

carlychamberlain.com

Making the menopause 

work for you 

Reaching the menopause is a huge milestone, 

so to help you through this new chapter, life 

coach Sarah Clark shares her 10 top tips 

Writing | Sarah Clark 

We hear so much about 

what the menopause 

can be like from 

friends, family, and 

the media – and not all of the 

information that comes through 

is positive. But the good news is 

that despite the outdated negative 

narratives of the past, we are 

moving into an age where we 

can talk more freely about what 

we think and feel, and discuss 

sensitive issues more frankly – 

we can, therefore, benefit from 

supporting each other through this 

next phase in our lives. 

Menopause comes from the 

Greek word “pausis” (pause), 

and means “the end of monthly 

cycles”. As we are living longer 

nowadays, we generally go 

through the menopause just 

over halfway through our lives 

– typically anywhere from 45 to 

55, with the average age being 

51 – so I think it feels more like a 

‘new phase of life’ rather than an 

ending. Here are some essential 

tips to help you reclaim the power 

over this new chapter in your life. 


Spirit drinks), and coconut sugar, 

which can be used as a helpful 

alternative. 

3. Move it 

Menopause can leave us feeling 

fatigued and, ironically, the more 

exercise we do, the more energy 

we tend to find we have. I started 

belly dancing 16 years ago, and 

find that combining this with yoga, 

pilates, and walking, is a really 

fun way to keep moving. Find the 

form that you like best, and aim to 

do at least 20 minutes of activity a 

day – regular and often keeps you 

feeling more like yourself, and 

helps combat the fatigue. 

1. Eat organic 

When we aim to improve our 

healthy lifestyle, eating organic 

whenever possible is a great 

place to start in order to benefit 

our body, as we are putting fewer 

toxins in. If you can’t always get 

organic, it is worth Googling 

the ‘clean 15’. These are veggies 

that are not organic, but either 

fewer pesticides are used when 

they’re growing, their skins are 

thicker, or insects don’t like them – 

particularly asparagus! 

2. Reduce alcohol, caffeine, 

and refined sugar 

As we enter the world of hot 

flushes, which I prefer to call 

‘power surges’, it is worth aiming 

to reduce the amount of alcohol, 

caffeine, and refined sugar in 

your diet. Try to see if it makes a 

difference in how you feel. Often 

after having a coffee or a glass 

of wine, we can feel the ‘power 

surges’ more intensely. There are 

some lovely herbal teas, nonalcoholic 

drinks (I like Three 

4. Cool it down 

If you are finding that hot flushes 

are having a negative impact 

on you, then there are a range 

of cooling drinks that can be 

helpful. Experiment to discover 

your favourite. I find that coconut 

water (in moderation) is great, as it 

hydrates and has a cooling effect. 

Don’t forget to pack a cold drink 

for when you are out and about. 

5. Layer up 

One of the real benefits at this 

time of life can be the fact that you 

may need less central heating and 

fewer jumpers. If you wear layers, 

then you can adjust how you feel 

as the day goes on, and enjoy 

wearing more strappy clothes. 

Cotton and natural fabrics are a 

bonus if you are perspiring. 

6. Take care of yourself 

As our hormones change, then 

so too can feelings of anxiety 

and overwhelm. This gives you a >>> 


eason to be extra compassionate 

to yourself, so don’t forget to give 

yourself some treats. A massage, a 

yoga session, or acupuncture, for 

example, can be really helpful to 

ensure you get some ‘me time’. It’s 

worth letting people around you 

know if you need some alone time 

as well, or if they can do anything 

to support you. 

7. Share it 

It can be helpful to talk to others 

who have been or are still going 

through similar symptoms, and 

although we are all different, 

talking through your feelings can 

be a great relief. If we are going to 

have red cheeks or suddenly need 

to take off a layer, then it can be a 

good idea to share this with others. 

Using the phrase “Just having a 

power surge” around people we are 

comfortable with can be helpful! It 

is a normal phase of life, after all. 

8. Clean sleep 

As hormones change, some women 

find that sleeping patterns can 

change, too. There is a wealth of 

information on clean sleep which 

can be useful. This means that 

before we go to bed, we use some 

helpful habits to calm our body 

down in preparation for sleep. We 

can avoid caffeine, dim the lights, 

and focus on our breathing, as a 

way to help get us in the zone for 

sleep. Turn off our mobile phone, 

try out some calming herbal tea, 

and think to ourselves: “Relax”. If 

we wake in the night, rather than 

worrying about not getting back to 

sleep, try to do some mindfulness 

practices, by letting thoughts come 

in, and then letting them go again. 

9. Communicate with a partner 

As we go through body changes, it 

can mean that things feel different, 

and we can find erogenous zones 

are altered. We might need to use 

lubrication, and it can be a time 

of rediscovering what we want in 

the bedroom. It’s really helpful to 

communicate with a partner if you 

are in a relationship, and take this 

opportunity to make more time for 

you both to enjoy yourselves! 

10. Create a new you 

My final tip is to see yourself as a 

wonderful individual. There are 

See yourself 

as a wonderful 

individual. There 

are a wealth of 

benefits as we 

move into a 

new phase 

of our lives 

a wealth of benefits as we move 

into a new phase of our lives, with 

an abundance of life experience 

behind us, and it is time to 

celebrate this! 

Sarah Clark is a coaching practitioner 

at Mariposa Coaching, with 20 years 

of experience. She uses evidence-based 

coaching psychology approaches to 

support everyone from doctors to 

teachers, to small businesses, parents, 

couples, and young people. Find out 

more about Sarah, and enquire 

about a consultation with her, at 

lifecoach-directory.org.uk 


A shift 

in perspective 

Menopause is a significant time for any woman, yet it’s often misunderstood. 

But no more! Author, journalist, and all-round champion of women 

Sam Baker shares the good, the bad, and the liberating 

Writing | Lucy Donoughue 

Photography | Claire Pepper 

Have you ever read something that 

resonates so deeply with you, that 

it feels as though it was cosmically 

sent your way? Sam Baker’s The 

Shift: How I (Lost and) Found Myself 

After 40 – and You Can Too, is that book for me – 

a big claim, but it’s true. 

Sam – former editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan 

and Red, and co-founder of The Pool – shares 

experiences of perimenopause and menopause 

in her new book. 

“I wrote it for me – or the equivalent of me – 

at the point of perimenopause,” Sam explains. 

“Partly to say, ‘This is what’s coming for you and 

it might be shit, but there’s also a light at the end 

of the tunnel, and it might be great...’ because 

nobody told me those things.” 

This was the case for me too, which explains 

the unbelievable sense of relief and recognition 

I felt reading Sam’s powerful latest offering. 

Being told that I was perimenopausal around 

the age of 40, blindsided me. None of my close 

friends or colleagues were going through the 

same experience and, mentally, I felt very 

lonely, angry, and as if my body was suddenly 

completely unknown to me. >>> 


This is what’s coming for 

you, and it might be shit, 

but there’s also a light 

at the end of the tunnel, 

and it might be great 

Feelings of isolation and 

estrangement from yourself 

upon menopausal ‘diagnosis’ are 

by no means unique to me – so 

many women also feel alone, and 

struggle in silence. 

“Going into the menopause, I 

felt that I didn’t have anyone to 

talk to about it,” Sam says. “So 

when I started writing The Shift, I 

put out a call on social media for 

other women’s experiences, and 

I was inundated with responses. 

I was just astonished. So many of 

the women said: ‘I’ve never told 

anybody this – I haven’t told my 

best friend, I certainly haven’t 

discussed it with my husband, 

wife, or partner.’” 

During these discussions with 

her newfound community, 

Sam’s belief in the importance 

of sharing personal experiences 

grew, as it became evident 

that many issues are still being 

whispered about – or left unsaid 

– and too many women feel alone 

as they negotiate menopause. 

As a result, Sam and her 

contributors have tackled a 

plethora of menopausal-related 

subjects, bringing a wide 

spectrum of perspectives to The 

Shift’s pages. From hot flushes 

to fluctuating weight, vile antiaging 

rhetoric, the societally 

perceived ‘end of fuckability’, 

vaginal atrophy (dryness and 

associated discomfort), and the 

last egg. And, with the end of 

ovulation, conversations and 

reflections on children and the 

removal of a choice, signalled by 

the menopause. 

“I didn’t particularly want, or 

not want children – we believed 

if it was going to happen, it 

would happen, and it didn’t,” 

Sam says. “But I could never have 

anticipated the force with which 

it struck me that I no longer had 

that option when I started going 

through perimenopause.” 

Choice and individual 

circumstances around 

having children require more 

discussion, Sam suggests, so as to 

fully retire binary and outdated 

thinking. “Not having children, 

except for in the context of 

infertility, isn’t spoken about 

enough. It’s very much ‘you’re a 

mother or you’re other’.” 

While unhelpful assumptions 

need to be challenged, the 

continued judgement and 

questioning of women as to 

when, or if, they are going to get 

pregnant, is a personal bugbear 

of mine, and one that Sam and 

many others share, too. How do 

we also stop the intrusive and 

insensitive enquiries about our 

plans for our wombs? 

“I think we have to take a leaf out 

of the millennials’ book, and call 

people out when they ask about 

it,” Sam responds assuredly. “One 

of the things that really struck me 

when I wrote The Shift was how

many times I’d been asked that 

question, and yes it’s disgusting, 

but I’d answered it. I should 

have never answered it, ever. I 

should have said ‘It’s none of your 

business,’ whether I was being 

asked by my boss or my mum.” 

Sam is buoyed by a seeming 

willingness from millennials to 

lead the discussion around active 

choice, rather than being led by 

others’ expectations. 

The all-too-often reduction 

of women to such stereotypes 

and labels, as well as society’s 

ongoing desire to fit them into 

neat little boxes, is addressed 

throughout The Shift – and so 

“But I certainly feel that as a 

result of that perception, the way 

I supressed my anger throughout 

my life led to depression, and 

ultimately I exploded. 

“You hear a lot of jokes around 

menopausal women’s rage, 

‘revenge of the menopausal 

women’ gags, plate smashing 

and all that,” she sighs. “I did go 

through a phase of torrential anger 

during perimenopause, but now 

I feel like I have very purposeful 

anger. I know what I am, and what 

I’m not prepared to put up with 

– and somebody mocking me, or 

saying I’m hysterical is not going to 

cut any ice.” 

So many of the women said: “I’ve never told anybody 

this, I haven’t told my best friend, I certainly haven’t 

discussed it with my husband, wife, or partner’ 

are the opportunities to blow 

those boxes up as we move into 

perimenopause and beyond. The 

second half of the book calls for 

claiming the future you want, 

and acknowledging what needs 

to go from your life as well. My 

favourite chapter? ‘Never pick 

a fight with a woman over 40. 

She is full of rage and sick of 

everyone’s shit!’ 

“Women’s anger is frowned 

upon – we’re hysterical or we’re 

out of control,” Sam explains. 

Sam came to know and treat 

herself better during the 

menopause. This involved 

seeking professional mental 

health support, something 

she notes, she’d never have 

considered previously. 

“I was the person who would 

have taken it as an insult if 

someone had suggested therapy 

to me,” says Sam. “I was the same 

with antidepressants. I thought it 

was a sign of weakness, but taking 

them made a huge difference.” 

Sam was referred for cognitive 

behavioural therapy and eye 

movement desensitisation and 

reprocessing, but the process 

was, initially, far from easy for 

her. “I was reluctant to see a 

therapist. I’m very outcomeorientated, 

and I wanted her 

to say, ‘This will be done in six 

weeks!’” Sam laughs. 

“My therapist dealt with me 

really well, and actually by the 

time the therapy was over – 18 

months later – I was really 

reluctant to relinquish her. 

Seeing her was the best thing I’ve 

ever done for myself.” 

As our conversation draws to 

a close, I take the opportunity 

to tell Sam that her book gave 

me reassurances, and a sense of 

normality about my current life 

stage, that I hadn’t managed to 

find anywhere else. “Good,” she 

says kindly. “Tell your friends.” 

I can honestly report that I have. 

‘The Shift: How I (lost and) found 

myself after 40 – and you can too’, 

by Sam Baker (Coronet, £16.99). 

Subscribe to Sam’s podcast ‘The 

Shift (on Life After 40)’, available on 

all major listening platforms.

The 

art of 

wellbeing 

Get stuck into these easy, 

effective craft projects to help 

soothe a busy mind, challenge 

your creativity, and leave you 

with something to be proud of 

Writing | Kathryn Wheeler 

Illustrating | Rosan Magar 

If life is what you make of it, when you 

choose to make art, things get a little 

brighter. Of course, sometimes the things 

that knock us off course are out of our 

hands, and we need extra support to get 

through. But when it comes to our everyday 

wellness, there can be real joy to be found in 

getting creative. 

And that’s a tip backed up by science. 

Research from University College London 

found that engaging in arts can reduce 

anxiety, while further studies also point to 

benefits including increased self-awareness 

and levels of the happy hormone dopamine, 

as well as a sense of pride and satisfaction. 

So roll up your sleeves, because it’s time to 

get crafting as we share six projects to inspire 

you to harness your creativity, and get lost in 

mindful moments. >>>

Cross stitch affirmations 

Affirmations help us to visualise 

our goals, as well as harness 

positive and empowering mindsets. 

Cross stitch pieces are made up 

of a series of small – you guessed 

it – stitched crosses. These patterns 

will help you create beautiful, 

affirming pieces that you can hang 

in your home as reminders of the 

values you want to embody. 

If you have never attempted cross 

stitch before, don’t be put off by the 

chart! We recommend watching 

Peacock & Fig’s ‘Cross stitch for 

beginners’ playlist on YouTube, to 

help you understand how to create 

the stitches. 


• 14-count fabric (common cross 

stitch fabric) 

• One skein of thread in your 

chosen colour 

• A needle 

• A pin 

• An embroidery hoop 

• Scissors 

Affirmations help 

us to visualise our 

goals, as well as 

harness positive 

and empowering 

mindsets 

How to: 

• Mark the centre stitch on 

your pattern. 

• Find the centre of your fabric 

by folding it in half twice and 

mark this with a pin. 

• Attach your fabric to 

your hoop. 

• Thread your needle with two 

threads from the skein. 

• Remove your pin and begin 

stitching from the centre stitch. 

• Follow the pattern. 

• When you are finished, knot 

and carefully trim your threads. 

You may want to 

display your cross-stitch 

affirmation in a frame – 

but if you want to keep it in 

the embroidery hoop for 

a rustic look, head over to 

Peacock & Fig’s YouTube 

channel to learn how to 

create a sturdy backing.

Monthly weather painting 

These beautiful, effective pieces 

of art are so easy to do, and are a 

nice way of tapping into a creative 

space each day. The idea of this 

project is to paint a line a day in 

the colour that corresponds to the 

temperature. Assign your own 

colours to temperatures or use our 

guide below. 

Work in straight, blocked lines 

or blend colours together with 

watercolour paint. However you 

chose to do it, express yourself. 

Once you have completed a month, 

proudly display it in your home, 

or use it as a background to create 

a scrapbook or memory board by 

attaching photos or other pieces of 

memorabilia, like tickets or notes. 

Create a monthly series, or take it 

up a level by doing a whole year! 


• Canvas or card 

• Paints in a selection of colours 

• A paintbrush 

Example 

You can also use this 

technique as a mood 

tracker, by assigning 

moods to different 

colours, and taking 

some time to assess 

how you felt that 

day before painting 

a line. This can be a 

great way to tunein 

with yourself. 

Read more about 

creative journaling 

techniques on p60. 

Temp ( ☐ C) 

38–39 

36–37 

34–35 

32–33 

30–31 

28–29 

26–27 

24–25 

22–23 

20–21 

18–19 

16–17 

14–15 

12–13 

10–11 

8–9 

6–7 

4–5 

2–3 

0–1 

-2–-1 

Colour 

QUICK DIY FACE MASK RECIPES 

You don’t need to go out and 

spend a lot of money on shopbought 

soothing face masks. 

These recipes use ingredients 

you probably already have in 

your kitchen. So whether you’re 

looking to wind-down at the end 

of a long day, or indulge your skin 

with some TLC, it’s time to mixup 

your self-care routine. 

TIME OAT 

For oily skin 

Whisk away excess oil with this 

soothing oat-based mask. 


45g cooked oatmeal 

1 egg 

1 tablespoon lemon juice 

Allow the cooked oatmeal to cool. 

Whisk the egg and mix all the 

ingredients together. 

AVO REST 

For dry skin 

Leave skin feeling soft and 

smooth with this creamy mix. 


1 avocado 

1 tablespoon honey 

A handful of oats 

Blend the avocado and honey 

together, and then stir in the oats. 

MINDFUL MASH 

For the minimalists out there, 

revitalise your skin with a 

mashed banana applied directly 

to your face. For a refreshing 

twist, blend up a frozen banana.

At its core, art and 

crafts are about selfexpression, 

and taking 

on projects allows us 

the opportunity to 

explore who we are 

Recycled wooden gratitude jar 

When we take the time each day 

to consider the things that we’re 

grateful for, we’re granted the 

opportunity to really reflect on the 

little joys in our lives. A gratitude 

jar is a great way to collect these 

pockets of happiness and return to 

them when we need them most. 

The idea is to write down on a 

small piece of paper something 

that you are grateful for. Fold this 

up, and put it in the jar. Add to 

the jar whenever you like, and 

return to it to read the notes when 

you feel as though you need to. 

Plus you can make the process of 

creating this jar a mindful one, by 

going out on a slow walk to collect 

sticks for the project. 

This recycled wood gratitude jar 

is easy to make, looks beautiful in 

your home, and is the perfect way 

to store the moments you want to 

hold on it. 


• A glass jar 

• Wooden sticks 

• Secateurs 

• A hot glue gun or other strong 

adhesive glue 

How to: 

• Trim your sticks to the size of 

the jar. 

• One by one, glue sticks in place. 

Map coasters 

Throughout our lives, we develop 

deep connections with the places 

we’ve lived and have visited. Create 

a reminder of a place that brings 

you joy with these coasters. 

Think of an area where you 

remember feeling happiest, or 

which served as the setting for a 

pivotal moment in your life, and 

craft a practical piece of homeware 

that will transport you there on a 

daily basis. 


• An old coaster or one from a craft 

store 

• A map 

• Scissors 

• A ruler 

• A pencil 

• Mod Podge (or PVA glue) 

• A paintbrush 

How to: 

• Lay the coaster over the area of 

the map you want to use. 

• Trace around the coaster with the 

pencil, then add on half an inch. 

• Use the scissors to cut around 

your template. 

• Stick the map to the coaster 

using the Mod Podge, folding 

the corners over the back and 

securing these down. 

• Paint over the coaster with a thin 

layer of Mod Podge. Allow this to 

dry completely before repeating 

the process two more times. 

At its core, art and crafts is about 

self-expression, and taking on 

projects allows us the opportunity 

to explore who we are. If you decide 

to try one of these ideas, be sure to 

share your results with us on social 

media. We can’t wait to see!

Worried about a friend? 

Here are some message ideas to help you reach out 

Just checking in! How 

are you feeling? 

Do you fancy a chat later? 

Is there anything you need? If 

I can help, just let me know. 

I want you to know that 

you’re not alone – I’m 

here if you need me. 

Take as long as you need, 

but if you want someone 

to listen, call me any time. 

Just to let you know I’m here 

if you want to talk. 

Was just thinking about you. 

How’s everything going? 

You are so special and loved.

5 ways to be a 

happy freelancer 

With her new book, Out of Office, being your go-to guide for all 

things freelance, who better to share the secrets of how to protect 

your mental health while bossing your own business, than 

regular Happiful contributor Fiona Thomas? 

If you’ve struggled to get back 

into the regular nine-to-five 

rhythm, or are in need of a 

career change, then setting up 

as a freelancer might seem like 

the perfect solution. No boss, 

no problem, right? Being selfemployed 

certainly comes with 

some mental health benefits. 

Flexibility, creative freedom, and 

a sense of accomplishment – not 

to mention the option to plonk 

yourself down in the trendiest 

café and call it your office. But the 

truth is that freelancing can be 

just as mentally draining as the 

traditional workplace. Here are 

my top five tips on how to support 

your mental wellbeing, and give 

yourself the best shot at being a 

happy freelancer... 

1. Get paid on time 

Late payments are, unfortunately, 

a common problem for most 

freelancers. I have lots of lovely 

clients who pay on time, but that’s 

not always the case. To keep your 

stress levels in check, don’t hang 

around. Always send invoices as 

soon as work is completed. Make 

sure that your payment terms 

are clear and set out in writing 

— ideally as part of a contract — 

before you start work. If possible, 

take payment upfront (or at least 

a percentage) to make life easier. 

Use a spreadsheet to keep track of 

what date you sent each invoice, 


and don’t be afraid to send email 

reminders when they are overdue. 

Remember, you’re legally allowed 

to claim interest and debt recovery 

costs on late payments. More 

information on this can be found 

at gov.uk. 

2. Increase your rates 

They say money won’t make you 

happy, but as a freelancer who 

has spent a lot of sleepless nights 

worrying about my finances, I 

can tell you that increasing your 

income, even slightly, will have a 

tangible impact on your mental 

health. Having the “I’m putting 

my prices up” conversation 

is a toughie, but one that I’ve 

had success with on multiple 

occasions. First up, don’t just 

pluck a figure out of thin air 

and expect your client to blindly 

accept the increase. They can 

research your competitors and 

find out what they’re charging, 

so you should do the same. This 

will give you a range of figures to 

work within, taking into account 

what your current rate is. Open 

up a dialogue, either on email or 

by phone, and make it a two-way 

conversation with a professional 

tone. Don’t get angry or upset. Just 

be honest about your expectations, 

and cite examples of the work 

you’ve done before to back up your 

right to be compensated fairly. 

3. Financially plan for holidays 

In the UK, full-time workers 

are entitled to a minimum of 28 

days paid annual leave, and yet 

research by IPSE, trade body for 

the self-employed, shows that the 

average freelancer takes just 24 

days of holiday per year. Time off 

can feel like a luxury rather than 

a necessity, and when time off 

equals a loss of earnings it’s even 

harder to down tools. But with 

careful planning, you can (and 

should) schedule regular time off 

throughout the year. 

The secret is to build paid 

holidays into your pricing 

strategy. When setting future 

income goals, assume that you 

will only be working 45 weeks 

out of the year as opposed to 52. 

Then take your goal salary and 

divide it by the number of weeks 

you can carry out paid work. So 

for example, if you’d like to earn 

£30k a year you’d need to earn 

£666 a week (over 45 weeks) to hit 

that target. This gives you a great 

starting off point for pinpointing 

your day rate or pricing packages 

that will give you enough money 

to take the time off that you 

deserve. 

4. Socialise with 

other freelancers 

Studies show that being socially 

disconnected can have a 

real impact on your physical 

wellbeing, so if you want to 

minimise your sick days (and 

improve your networking 

skills) then make an effort to 

talk to other freelancers. The 

social support that comes from 

freelancing communities – such 

as membership sites, group 

business coaching, or Facebook 

groups – can help to reduce the 

stress that comes from selfemployment. 

Friends and family 

often have no frame of reference 

with the complications that come 

from doing your first tax return, 

or dealing with toxic clients. But 

you can bet your bottom dollar 

that a fellow freelancer will not 

only get it, but they’ll have some 

sound advice to help you rise to 

the challenge. 

5. Be the boss you wish 

you’d always had 

Don’t fall into the trap of letting 

your business run your life. The 

whole point of being freelance is 

to break away from the shackles 

of the rat race, and build a career 

that works for you. Be bold and 

set working hours that allow you 

to do the things you love, whether 

it’s sleeping until midday or going 

for a run in the afternoon. During 

lockdown, I didn’t sit down at my 

desk until 10.30am most days, and 

it felt like such a luxury to give 

myself the time I needed to get 

my motor running each morning. 

Think about all the perks you wish 

you’d had in previous jobs. Maybe 

you would have liked a daily yoga 

class, access to counselling, or 

an extended lunch break. As a 

freelancer you’ve got the power to 

implement these things into your 

working life, so do it! 

Fiona is a freelance writer and author, 

whose new book ‘Out of Office’ is 

available in print from 1 October. Visit 

fionalikestoblog.com for more. 


10 

eco-friendly 

life hacks 

Save the planet, save money, and save time with 

these DIY, environmentally-friendly tips 

Writing | Rebecca Thair 

Glow-up 

Whether you manage to get abroad this year, or are 

venturing to the coast for a staycation, the last thing 

you need is to miss out on fun because you’re left 

guarding the valuables. 

SOLUTION: Clean out an empty sunscreen bottle and 

use it to house your keys, money, and potentially phone 

(depending on the size of the bottle) while on the 

beach – it won’t attract attention, and despite a growing 

consciousness of sun safety, is unlikely to be stolen. 

Uncrossed-wires 

From headphones to charging cables, it’s like there’s a 

mystical presence that tangles up your wires the moment 

you look away. And if you keep all these electrical goods in 

one drawer, good luck ever undoing that Gordian Knot. 

SOLUTION: Fill a sturdy box or your chosen drawer 

with empty cardboard loo rolls, standing upright. Then 

neatly wind up each individual cable, and store within 

a separate tube. What you’ll have is great organisation, 

and countless hours saved scrambling through a mess of 

wires to find what you’re looking for! 

Good vibrations 

When you’re 

working from 

home, or having 

a socially-distanced hangout, 

you may want to blast out 

some tunes. Speakers aren’t 

hard to come by, but they can 

be an expense, and another 

thing using electricity. You 

might even find yourself 

outside more with no power 

outlets – so what can you do to 

keep making that music? 

SOLUTION: Turn an empty 

loo roll tube into a phone 

speaker! Although it’s not quite 

the same as a Bose system, 

this simple trick still amplifies 

sound. Simply cut a slot big 

enough for your phone to 

sit in, then use a couple of 

drawing pins to act as feet, and 

stop it rolling around. Sounds 

good to me. 


BONUS TIPS 

Put a clean, dry towel in 

your tumble dryer with 

wet clothes, and it will 

absorb some of the water. 

This means that you don’t 

need to run the machine 

for as long, making it more 

energy-efficient. 

Instead of throwing away 

silica packs – the little gel 

pouches used to draw 

moisture out of boxed items 

such as shoes – pop them 

in your jewellery box to 

help keep silver items from 

tarnishing. 

If you need food bag clips, 

and don’t have a bottle to 

hand, you can also remove 

the clip from a trouser 

hanger! Fresh food, no 

hang ups. 

Trouser hangers can be 

useful for other things, too. 

Do you know the struggle 

of following a recipe when 

your cookbook won’t stay 

open? Simply use the 

hanger to clip each side 

of the book open on your 

required page. Now we’re 

cookin’! 

Keep it fresh 

If you’ve got more restraint than me, and can leave 

a bag of sweets or crisps before the end, then you’ll 

know the agony of the remainder either spilling all 

over your cupboards, or going stale when left opened. 

SOLUTION: Cut the top third off a plastic bottle, 

thread the top of your packet through it, then fold it 

down over the bottom and screw the cap on. Signed, 

sealed, delicious. 

Water great idea 

If you’ve been inspired to get green-fingered 

during lockdown – whether that’s growing your 

own little veg patch, or simply a few pots on your 

windowsill – we have a simple trick to save you 

from splashing out on a new watering can. 

SOLUTION: Rinse out an empty milk bottle, and 

poke some holes in the plastic cap. You can now 

easily give your thirsty, leafy friends a gentle 

sprinkling of water! Plus, you can put your 

crafting skills to the test by giving the bottle a 

mini-makeover so it can look nice and appealing 

on your counter as well. 

Pencilled in 

With a lot of us setting up our own home offices, you 

may find yourself making a mess with all your essential 

items sprawling out, and yet there’s never a pen to hand 

when you need it! 

SOLUTION: Take a clean, empty milk carton, safely 

cut the bottom off from below the handle on one side, 

leaving a nice tray for you – the perfect makeshift 

pencil case. You can leave it neatly on your desk space, 

or even attach it to a wall. Inspiration strikes. 


HAPPIFUL TOP 10 

October 

Express yourself through all creative outlets. Make colouring mindful, get busy in the 

kitchen, and create a safe space for you to express your own thoughts and feelings 

1PAGE-TURNERS 

In Their Shoes: Navigating 

Non-Binary Life 

Award-winning editor, writer, 

and public speaker Jamie 

Windust shares their own 

experiences on everything from 

fashion, dating, relationships 

and family, through to mental 

health, in their debut book. 

This read is a call to arms for 

non-binary self-acceptance, 

self-appreciation, and 

self-celebration. 

3 

PUT ON A SHOW 

Pick up your pencils, 

put on your favourite playlist, 

and take a mindful moment 

with The Colouring Sessions. 

These album covers have 

been stripped back to basics 

for you to download and 

create your own design, while 

pressing pause on the worries 

of everyday life. 

(Out 21 Oct, Jessica Kingsley 

Publishers, £12.99) 

2 

OUT AND ABOUT 

Virtual Book Club 

Connect with your fellow bookworms, choose a book, and share 

your thoughts over Zoom. If your friends don’t fancy it, you can join 

an online community such as ‘Between Two Books’, run by musician 

Florence Welch from the band Florence and the Machine, with a 

group of more than 30,000 readers you can connect with. 

(Search @BetweenTwoBooks on Facebook) 

The Colouring Sessions 

(Browse the templates at 

thecolouringsessions.com) 

4LEND US 

YOUR EARS 

‘The Different Minds 

Podcast Series’ 

Celebrating the variety of ways 

our brain can work and interpret 

information, ‘The Different Minds 

Podcast Series’ is hosted by 

broadcaster John Offord, who is 

joined by guests including our very 

own head writer Kathryn Wheeler, 

to talk about topics from building 

better mental health, to the power 

of the subconscious mind. 

(Listen to the podcast on 

iTunes and Spotify) 

5 

PLUGGED-IN 

Blair Amadeus Imani 

Follow historian, author, 

and activist Blair Imani 

for insightful and uplifting 

content. Blair hosts 

‘Learn o’Clock’ every 

Sunday, to educate her 

online community on topics such 

as LGBTQ+ rights, racism, and 

political issues. It’s clear from her 

feed that Blair is dedicated to 

making the world a better place, 

and she’s doing exactly that. 

(Follow @blairimani on Instagram) 


6 9 

TECH TIP-OFFS 

Deliciously Ella app 

Make plant-based cooking easier 

with the Deliciously Ella app. Discover 

more than 400 healthy, plant-based 

recipes, with instructional videos and stepby-step 

images. You can also get moving 

with a wide selection of yoga videos, 

ranging from beginner to advanced. Fresh 

content served every week! 

(Download from the App 

Store and Google Play) 

7SQUARE EYES 

The Great British 

Sewing Bee 

Knitting needles at the 

ready… It’s time to find Britain’s best 

amateur sewer. Hosted by comedian 

Joe Lycett, each week sewers take 

on exciting new challenges as they 

compete to be named Britain’s best 

home sewer. Crochet away! 

(Available on BBC iPlayer) 

THE CONVERSATION 

National Baking Week 

It’s time to get creative in the kitchen! A spot of 

baking is great for our mental health, so dust 

off your old cake tins and bake to your heart’s content. You 

could even hold a bake sale to raise money for a charity 

that’s close to your heart. Check out our dark chocolate 

and banana muffins recipe on p68 to get you started. 

(14–20 October, follow #NationalBakingWeek) 

10GET GOING 

The Paw Runner 

The power of pets to improve our 

mental health is limitless. The Paw 

Runner is on a mission to get humans 

and their dogs fit, healthy, and 

happy, helping you to bond with your 

four-legged pals as well. Take up 

the challenge of one of its bronze, 

silver, and gold activities to keep you motivated, as you enjoy 

the wellbeing benefits of spending time outdoors with your 

pooch. (Get involved at thepawrunner.com) 

8 

TREAT YOURSELF 

Creativity and reflection can have a powerful, positive influence on our lives. 

Developed in partnership with mental health charity Mind, The Wellbeing Journal 

includes activities, quotes, and space for you to write about your own thoughts, 

feelings, and experiences. (£9.99, available to buy on amazon.co.uk) 

The Wellbeing Journal: Creative Activities to Inspire 

WIN! 

Win your own The Wellbeing Journal 

For your chance to win, simply email competitions@happiful.com 

with your answer to the following question: 

What year was mental health charity Mind founded? 

a) 1944 b) 1945 c) 1946 

Competition closes 22 October. UK mainland and Northern Ireland only. Good luck!

I am. I have 

Megan Crabbe | Joseph Sinclair 

THE HAPPIFUL PODCAST 

SHAHROO IZADI 

FEARNE GRACE VICTORY COTTON 

MEGAN CRABBE 

JAMIE FIONA WINDUST LAMB 

• Listen • Like • Subscribe • 

Listen to conversations with Shahroo Izadi, Fearne Cotton, Megan Crabbe, 

Jamie Windust and many others who share their passions, 

and reveal the moments that shaped them

DREAM ON 

Essential – and unusual 

– ideas to help you sleep 

Download ‘Freedom’ 

This app is available on both Apple 

and Android, and allows you to 

reclaim control over night-time 

scrolling. You can schedule ‘blocks’ 

on certain distracting websites and 

apps, e.g. between 9pm and 7am, to 

help you get a screen-free night. 

Birthday suit-up! 

While cosy PJs and lots of blankets 

might be your bedtime go-to, they 

could be keeping you up at night. 

Your body naturally drops in 

temperature to help you drift off, so 

keeping things cool in the bedroom 

could help. One way to do this could 

be to embrace your bare body, and 

strip down to enjoy the sheets on 

your skin! 

Restflix and chill 

New streaming service Restflix 

launched in July, with the aim to 

help people start snoozing. Videos 

on the service utilise binaural 

beats, which is a proven method 

to harness our brain’s reactions 

to sound to help you drift off, plus 

it features guided meditations, 

bedtime stories, and peaceful 

visuals – tune-in to what works best 

for you. 

Try reverse-psychology 

If you’ve ever had the experience of 

laying awake, desperately struggling 

to catch those Zs, then trying to stay 

awake could help. As strange as 

it sounds, studies have found that 

simply lying in bed with your 

eyes wide open can help you 

relax, as you stop feeling anxious 

about not being able to sleep, and 

actually become more tired. 

Brinner is served 

If you’ve been struggling to 

find sleep, treating yourself 

to breakfast for dinner could 

help prepare you for a night’s 

rest. Toast is a light source of 

carbohydrates, which can help to 

regulate blood sugar, so perhaps 

pair it with some eggs, as these 

are high in protein and can aid 

sleep. A banana could also be 

a good choice, as it contains 

potassium, which is known to 

help relax muscles.

Put it in 

writing 

If you go into your bedside drawer or a box under your bed right now, how 

many untouched notebooks would you find? It seems to me that notebooks 

reproduce while we’re sleeping, as there’s always an empty one lying 

around, just waiting to be scribbled in! Well it’s time to put those journals to 

good use, as we explore how they can actually support our mental health 

Writing | Ellie Pilcher 

Illustrating | Rosan Magar 

There are many ways to 

use a notebook, from the 

traditional uses such as 

keeping a diary or writing 

to-do lists, to the more crafty 

uses such as scrapbooking. But 

have you ever considered using 

a notebook specifically to benefit 

your mental health? 

According to the Univerity 

of Rochester Medical Center, 

journaling boosts our wellbeing 

in several ways, including 

managing anxiety, reducing 

stress, and coping with 

depression. The simple act of 

writing down our thoughts and 

feelings can help us prioritise 

our problems and manage any 

intrusive thoughts throughout the 

day, as well as monitor our dayto-day 

mental health over long 

periods of time. 

However, there is more 

than one way to use 

a notebook to 

maintain our 

mental health, 

and there’s no 

reason why you 

can’t experiment 

with an empty 

notebook to find out 

what works best for 

you. It’s time to put pen 

to paper, and discover the 

four creative ways you can 

use journals to support your 

mental health. 

Bullet journaling 

Bullet journaling is a form 

of organisation that was 

invented by Ryder Carroll 

in 2013. Instead of having 

separate lists of things 

strewn around the 

house or on 

your phone, a 

bullet journal 

allows you to 

keep track of all 

this information 

in one notebook. 

It’s effectively a 

planner, a to-do 

list, and a diary 

all in one. You can 

document anything 

from your weekly food 

shop to drawing a table to 

keep track of your mood 

throughout each month. 

To specifically use a 

bullet journal to monitor 

your mental health, try a 

daily habit tracker. Draw 

a table split into 28–31 

days, depending on the 


number of days in the month, 

and check off each day whenever 

you do something you want to 

encourage yourself to do. For 

example, drink eight glasses of 

water, get some exercise, eat a 

healthy lunch, call a friend, etc. 

You can find lots of inspiration 

for ways to monitor your mental 

health with a bullet journal on 

Pinterest and YouTube as well. 

Junk journal 

Clutter can be a major trigger for 

anxiety, but it can be helpfully 

stored away with a notebook. Find 

those small bits and pieces that 

you’re keeping stashed around 

your home – such as cinema 

tickets, receipts, photos, labels, and 

other mementoes – and glue or 

Sellotape them into a junk journal. 

Alternatively, if an item is doublesided 

or something that you might 

want to pull out one day, glue an 

envelope into your junk journal 

and place the item inside the 

envelope for safe-keeping. Now 

you don’t have to throw away 

any good memories, but you 

won’t have clutter piling up all 

over the place either. 

Vision book 

You may have heard of vision 

boards, but have you ever heard 

of a vision book? Our dreams and 

desires can change throughout 

our lives, and sometimes we have 

more than one vision at one time. 

I, for one, know that whenever 

I’m feeling down I often end up 

thinking about the things I haven’t 

achieved in my life. So, to help 

with this I create a vision page in 

my vision book. Not only is it a 

The simple act 

of writing down 

our thoughts 

and feelings can 

help us prioritise 

our problems 

helpful creative outlet, which is 

a great mood elevator, it’s also a 

great way to feel proactive at my 

lowest moments. To create your 

own vision book, find an A4 or A5 

notebook and start writing down 

your dreams. Cut out pictures or 

headlines from newspapers or 

magazines and stick them into 

the notebook to create a collage of 

inspiring images for you to look at 

whenever you feel like you need to 

be grounded. 

Gratitude journal 

A gratitude journal can be a great 

way to maintain your mental 

health, particularly when you’re 

really struggling with low mood or 

anxiety. To start with, find an empty 

notebook and write down one thing 

that happened during your day 

that you’re grateful for. It can be as 

small as having a bacon sandwich 

for breakfast, or not arriving late 

for work! But it can also be as big 

as a relationship with a loved one, 

or having a breakthrough in 

therapy. The reason for having a 

gratitude journal is to encourage 

you to write down a daily note 

expressing positivity, putting 

any intrusive, negative thoughts 

to one side. 

There are many ways to use a 

notebook to maintain your mental 

health, you just have to find the 

way that works for you. From 

writing lists to doodling, keeping a 

daily journal, to summarising your 

month in bullet points, the next 

time you come across an empty 

notebook, pick it up and dive in 

– you might be surprised at what 

you discover about yourself. 


Good 

mood 

food 

Feel-good foods that fuel positive mental health 

Writing | Katie Hoare 

Studies have shown that 

what we eat can have a 

profound effect on our 

mood, and certain foods 

can even give us a little 

boost when we’re feeling below 

par. We’re not just talking about 

fruit and veggies – although they 

are classic mood-boosters – but 

some tasty treats can also help 

bolster us up! 

It can be easy to reach for the 

chocolate or biscuits – that’s 

certainly my go-to – but bloodsugar 

spikes and crashes from 

‘quick-fix’ foods could leave us 

feeling worse off. So we’ve cooked 

up three recipes that are easy 

to try at home, and are packed 

with vitamins and minerals that 

promote positive mental health. 

Enjoy! 

Berry breakfast smoothie 

Makes 4 

Ingredients 

• 100g strawberries 

• 150g blueberries 

• 150g raspberries 

• 450g Greek yoghurt 

• 100ml milk (or non-dairy 

alternative) 

• 2 tsp of honey 

• 25g porridge oats 

Method 

• In a blender, whizz the berries, 

yogurt, and milk until smooth. 

• Add the honey and oats, and 

whizz again for 30 seconds. 

• Pour smoothie into 4 glasses. 

• Serve with sprinkled oats and 

berries, or store in the fridge. 

Simple!

Dark choc, banana muffins 

Makes 12 

Ingredients 

• 3 bananas, mashed 

• 2 eggs 

• ½ cup milk (or non-dairy 

alternative) 

• 130g maple syrup 

• 1 tsp pure vanilla extract 

• 1 tsp baking soda 

• 50g dark, unsweetened 

cocoa powder 

• 130g all-purpose flour 

• 50g dark chocolate chips 

• 1 tsp sea salt 

Method 

• Preheat the oven to 180˚C and 

grease the muffin tins. 

• Mash the bananas in a large 

bowl, combine with the eggs 

and whisk. 

• Add the milk, maple syrup, and 

vanilla to the bowl and mix. 

• While mixing, gradually add 

the baking soda, cocoa powder 

and flour until the mixture is a 

smooth texture. Fold chocolate 

chips and sea salt into the batter. 

• Pour mixture evenly into a 

greased muffin tin, filling each 

cup up approximately ⅔ full. 

• Bake for approximately 30 

minutes, or until a toothpick 

comes out clean from the centre 

of the muffin. Set aside to cool 

for 10 minutes. 

• Enjoy with your mid-morning 

cuppa! 

Find a 

nutritionist 

near you on the 

Happiful app 

Feta salad with beef 

& beets 

Serves 2 

Ingredients 

• 300g lean beef 

• 50g kale 

• 2 tsp olive oil 

• 2 tsp of wholegrain mustard 

• 50g rocket 

• ½ red onion, sliced 

• 100g walnuts 

• 1 beetroot, chopped 

• 2 tsp feta, crumbled 

• Salt and pepper, to season 

Method 

• Preheat the grill to 

approximately 140˚C. 

• Season steak with salt and 

pepper. Place under the grill for 

approximately 8 minutes each 

side (cook to your liking). 

• Leave to stand for 5 minutes 

before slicing. 

• Massage the kale leaves with 

olive oil and wholegrain mustard. 

Mix the kale and rocket with 

chopped onion and walnuts. 

• Place the salad in a serving 

bowl. Chop the beetroot into 

small pieces and place on top of 

the salad. Crumble on the feta. 

• Place sliced steak on the salad, 

and drizzle with olive oil. Serve. 

Our expert says... 

The berries in the smoothie have 

a lower glycaemic load compared 

to most fruit, meaning their 

energy is released steadily, which 

helps avoid energy spikes. Greek 

yoghurt is a fermented food that 

has probiotic cultures – great 

for digestive health. Opt for 

plain Greek yoghurt, as excess 

sugar and sweeteners can lead to 

dysregulated blood glucose levels, 

which is a stressor for the body 

and brain. 

The bananas in the muffins 

contain L-tryptophan – an amino 

acid involved in the production of 

our happy hormone, serotonin. 

This neurotransmitter helps 

regulate mood, as well as sleep, 

appetite, digestion, learning, 

and memory. Dark chocolate is 

a tasty source of antioxidants, 

which support blood flow to the 

brain. This aids memory and 

concentration, which are often 

affected when feeling low in 

mood or anxious. 

The salad is packed with 

nutrients! Leafy greens such as 

kale contain iron, B6 and folate. 

Vitamin B6 is an essential cofactor 

in the production of serotonin 

and dopamine. Beetroot is a great 

mood-boosting addition to the 

salad. This vibrant vegetable can 

increase blood flow to the brain, 

which ensures adequate oxygen 

and nutrients are supplied to our 

most energy-demanding organ. 

Rebekah Esdale is a mental health nurse 

and nutritional therapist specialising 

in women’s mental health and 

wellbeing. She empowers women 

to flourish with her Explore- 

Nourish-Balance-Restore 

programme. Find out more 

at rebekahesdale.com

£48 

£40 

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AT THE CHECKOUT 

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code HAPPIOCT at shop.happiful.com 

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HAPPIOCT, which expires on 31 October 2020. For full terms and conditions, please visit happiful.com

THE RISE OF THE 

READY MEAL 

By the time we’ve finished work and are looking to unwind, 

many of us just can’t face cooking – so we reach for a 

ready meal. They may well have a bad reputation, but is it 

actually deserved? We say they don’t have to be unhealthy, 

and have some tips to make them a little more nutritious… 

Writing | Jenna Farmer 

Artwork | Charlotte Reynell 

>>>

The humble ready meal 

offers a lunch or dinner 

solution in a matter of 

minutes. Whether you’re 

craving a bowl of pasta, a hearty 

stew, or something more exotic, 

a comforting meal can swiftly 

emerge from the microwave. Yet 

we’re often made to feel guilty 

about not making more effort and 

cooking from scratch. 

It’s worth noting that, for some of 

us, the simple act of ensuring we’re 

hydrated and fed with three meals 

a day, is an achievement worth 

recognising in itself. Whether it’s 

due to health struggles, fatigue, or 

just life overwhelming us, no one 

should feel guilty for not spending 

hours cooking up a storm in the 

kitchen. If a ready meal is what you 

need to get through your day, then 

absolutely reach for one! 

Just because it’s a ready meal 

doesn’t automatically mean it’s 

unhealthy. Nutritional therapist 

Sonal Shah, of Synergy Nutrition, 

says: “There are ready meals 

available which are lower in salt, 

free from trans-fats, and balanced 

with carbs, proteins, and healthy 

fats.” 

However, they do vary wildly 

in nutrition levels, so it’s worth 

checking the label to see the 

amount of salt, trans-fats, and 

fibre they contain. “It’s helpful to 

remember that the ingredients on 

the back of packaging are listed in 

order of quantity. So, if fat, salt, and 

sugar are listed high up, this means 

that the product is made up mostly 

of these ingredients,” adds Sonal. 

Upgrade your ready meal 

No time to cook, but want to make 

your ready meal a little healthier? 

Follow our simple suggestions to 

quickly upgrade your ready meal 

into a nutritious dish… 

• Protein is really important for 

energy, but can be lacking in 

ready meals. Keep sources of 

protein in your fridge to chuck 

into your bowl at the last minute. 

Cooked chicken is a great idea, 

while tofu, which only takes 

a minute or two to cook, is a 

nutritious veggie option. 

• One thing to look for is the 

amount of fibre the meal 

contains. We need around 30g 

a day, so if you can’t find a high 

fibre ready meal, stir some 

fresh veg into a microwaved 

meal instead. Sonal says: “Add 

a side of fresh vegetables 

or salad to make the meal 

healthier. Steam, lightly boil, 

or roast vegetables such as 

broccoli, cauliflower, kale, 

and asparagus, to boost the 

nutritional value while you 

wait for your meal to cook.” 

Remember, frozen veg is just as 

nutritious as fresh veg, and can 

be defrosted in minutes. 

• Instant brekkie options (such 

as on-the-go drinks and quickcook 

oats) have their place, 

and are better than skipping 

it altogether. But with a few 

add-ons you can turn an instant 

breakfast into a nutritious 

powerhouse, that will keep you 

going until lunch. Sprinkling 

a teaspoon of chia seeds into 

oats provides a great source 

of omega 3, while a spread of 

peanut butter on your toast 

adds fibre and healthy fats. 

If you’ve got a 

busy weekday 

schedule, consider 

dedicating a 

few hours each 

Sunday to meal 

prep for the 

week ahead 

Make your own ready meals 

Of course, a cheaper alternative is 

to make your own speedy ‘ready’ 

meals. If you’ve got a busy weekday 

schedule, consider dedicating a 

few hours each Sunday to meal 

prep for the week ahead. Sonal 

says: “Many dishes – such as stews, 

soups, lasagne, chillies, and curries 

– can be cooked in batches and 

then frozen or refrigerated.” 

If you hate messing around 

with spices and sauces, why not 

pre-marinade your meats before 

freezing? You can then simply 

chuck them in the oven with some 

vegetables for a quick supper. 

If you haven’t got time to batch 

cook, Sonal also advises that meals 

such as stir fries, pasta, and veggie 

stuffed pittas, all take just a few 

minutes to make. Investing in a 

slow cooker – which requires just 

a few minutes of morning prep for 

a hearty evening meal – is another 

great option. 


Ready meals: our top picks 

The healthiest options for when 

only a speedy ready meal will do. 

Mandira’s Kitchen: Homecooked 

Indian ready meals that are far 

healthier than a takeaway. It’s 

all fresh produce, contains no 

preservatives, and there’s plenty 

of gluten-free and vegan options 

(mandiraskitchen.com). 

Après Food Co: This London 

restaurant offers ready meals 

and meal kits that are free from 

gluten and refined sugars. With 

options such as free-range burgers, 

lentil and sweet potato dahl, and 

creamy chickpea stew, it’s healthy 

gourmet dining in your living room 

(apresfood.com). 

My Breakfast Box: A weekly 

subscription that sends nutritious 

high-fibre granola, porridge, 

and breakfast bars to your door 

(mybreakfastbox.co.uk). 

Recipe: smoky chickpea stew 

This super-simple chickpea 

stew requires just a handful of 

ingredients, and can be batchcooked 

to serve with different 

foods throughout the week. Serve 

as is, or with some grated cheese, 

for a yummy snack. Stir in frozen 

veg for a quick supper, or sprinkle 

in some cooked chicken or 

leftover meat for a heartier dish. 

Makes 4 servings 

Ingredients 

• 2 onions, chopped 

• 4 garlic cloves, crushed 

• 2 teaspoons tomato purée 

• 2 teaspoons smoked paprika 

• 2 tins of chickpeas, drained 

• 2 tins of tomatoes 

• ½ tsp sugar 

• Salt 

Method 

Super-simple! 

1. Heat a good glug of oil in a large 

saucepan, and add the onions 

along with a pinch of salt. Sauté 

over a medium heat for 5–10 

minutes, until soft and browned. 

Recipe source: Dominique Woolf, 

founder of The Woolf’s Kitchen Sauces 

2. Next, add the garlic and cook 

for a couple of minutes, stirring 

constantly to avoid burning. 

3. Now, add the tomato purée 

and smoked paprika, and cook 

for a further minute or so. 

4. Add the chickpeas, tinned 

tomatoes, and sugar, and 

simmer for 15–20 minutes until 

you have a rich, thick sauce. 

Season well. 


“ 

Always be yourself, express 

yourself, have faith in yourself 

BRUCE LEE 

Photography | Trung Thanh

TRUE LIFE 

A sign of 

the times 

During the recent pandemic, the importance of 

human connection became even more clear to the 

world, and was the catalyst for Kim McGregor’s 

drive to support and raise awareness of the deaf 

community – as well as the incredible impact of the 

beautiful language of sign 

Writing | Kim McGregor 

Over the years, 

I’ve had many 

ups and downs, 

and have 

struggled with my mental 

health – experiencing 

depression, anxiety and, 

most recently, posttraumatic 

stress disorder 

(PTSD). But through it all, 

learning a new skill and 

using that to help others 

has given me purpose, and 

helped me pull through. 

In late 2016, I started my 

degree in psychology at 

Royal Holloway University 

of London. I have always 

been fascinated by 

psychology, and how the 

brain works – but my 

other passion is British 

Sign Language (BSL). I 

started learning BSL nine 

years ago by watching 

YouTube videos, and 

teaching myself in my 

free time. Once I was 

confident with signing 

the alphabet, I realised 

how much I enjoyed 

it, and was keen to do 

more. An online search 

helped me to find British- 

Sign.co.uk, which had a 

flexible level one course 

that was ideal for me. 

I loved learning new 

signs and increasing my 

BSL vocabulary – even 

though the online course 

wasn’t perfect – and after 

a few months, I got my 

certificate in level one 

BSL! It was amazing and I 

was so proud that I knew 

the basics of BSL and 

could communicate, even 

just a little, with the deaf 

community. 

What I’ve learnt over 

the years is that this 

language helps so many 

other groups of people 

too, as well as those who 

are deaf – including 

individuals who are on 

the autism spectrum, who 

have Downs Syndrome, 

or painful chronic 

illnesses – because sign 

language allows them to 

communicate without the 

strain of using their voice. 

And I’ve personally found 

it useful as well. 

Back in 2010, I 

was diagnosed with 

bronchiectasis. Since 

then, I have been 

hospitalised numerous 

times with other 

respiratory infections. 

When my chest is 

bad, I feel weak and 

am in a lot of pain. So 

I keep communication 

to a minimum, as I get 

breathless and can’t talk 

due to the pain. >>> 


Teaching BSL only 

deepened Kim’s love 

for the language 

Being able to use sign language 

has helped me tremendously 

with communicating when I 

am severely ill 

However, being able to 

use sign language has 

helped me tremendously 

with communicating 

when I am severely ill. 

In 2017, I was 

approached to teach 

level one BSL at Royal 

Holloway. It was a scary 

concept to teach 25 

students, and I thought 

I couldn’t do it. But after 

my first lesson ended, I 

fell in love with teaching 

the language of sign. 

But in December 2018, 

my dad suddenly died. I 

stopped learning BSL, and 

became very detached. 

I was in my third year 

of university, which I 

struggled with. 

My dissertation, which 

my dad helped me with, 

was a research piece 

looking at the deaf 

community’s mental 

health compared to those 

with hearing. It made 

me open my eyes to the 

adversity that people 

with hearing loss endure 

every day, and the 

impact this has on their 

mental health. It sparked 

something within me; 

I wanted to do more, 

and to raise awareness 

surrounding the deaf 

community. Even though 

my dad didn’t get to read 

my dissertation, or see 

me graduate, he knew 

that I would always go 

above and beyond to 

accomplish whatever I 

set my mind to. 

After graduating in 

2019, I, much like every 

graduate, was scared 

and anxious about what 

to do next. I looked 

into studying a Health 

Psychology MSc at the 

University of Surrey, as 

I always wanted to get 

a Masters. However, 

halfway through the 

course, my PTSD and 

mental health were really 

suffering, and in January 

2020, I made the decision 

to stop and return to 

part-time work. 

Then one Sunday, I was 

with my mum when I 

mentioned the idea of 

becoming a BSL level 

one teacher and helping 

hearing people learn 

the basics of BSL – but 

mostly, I wanted to support 

businesses to communicate 

with deaf customers. 

My mum mentioned the 

Prince’s Trust, and that day 

I signed up to attend its 

Enterprise course. 

I loved the course 

and met some of the 

most wonderful people, 

including my mentor, 

Richard. He believed in 

my idea, and helped me 

through the process of 

making it into a business. 

But just after I started 

putting my plans together, 

in March 2020, coronavirus 

hit the UK, I became 

furloughed, and due to my 

chest condition I received 


Follow Kim on Instagram @help2sign 

Every day, I 

receive lovely 

messages from 

many hearing 

individuals 

learning BSL, 

which makes 

me so happy 

an NHS letter saying I am 

considered vulnerable, 

and had to self-shield 

for more than three 

months. This greatly 

impacted me starting my 

Help2Sign business, and 

made me anxious about 

what the future would 

hold – especially as being 

on furlough increased 

my anxiety and mental 

health. 

On 26 March, 2020, I 

uploaded my first video 

– which was nerveracking, 

but I loved so 

much. I couldn’t believe 

the positive feedback I 

was getting. Every day, I 

receive lovely messages 

from many hearing 

individuals learning BSL, 

which makes me so happy 

that people are actively 

learning such a beautiful 

language. 

After just four months, 

I went from 10 to 6,200 

followers, have been 

featured in Stacey 

Dooley’s documentary 

Locked down Heroes, and 

was nominated for a 

Diversity Award in the 

Excellence Entrepreneur 

category, which was an 

incredible and lovely 

surprise. Recently, 

I was approached to 

collaborate with Tea 

Please UK, to combine 

my love of art with BSL, 

and have now got a range 

of mugs and T-shirts 

with my illustrations on, 

with the proceeds going 

to SignHealth. This is a 

charity I have supported 

for many years, that has 

played a huge part in 

helping deaf individuals 

with their wellbeing and 

mental health issues, 

and is particularly 

close to my heart due 

to experiencing mental 

health issues as well. 

In a world so focused 

on promoting diversity 

and raising awareness, 

there is still a lot to do 

regarding accessibility for 

those with hearing loss 

– such as interpreters. I 

hope that I can, even just 

a little, make a positive 

impact in the deaf 

community. 


We have all seen the world 

differently in the past few 

months. We’ve noticed 

just how important it is 

to connect with our loved 

ones, but also to be able to 

communicate our needs to 

others – and be ‘heard’. 

It’s really great that at 

a time when many were 

drawing away from 

society, Kim found she 

could reach out and 

engage. She reminds 

us that there are so 

many different ways to 

experience the world, 

and opening our eyes 

to how others see it can 

broaden our own 

horizons, and 

allow us to feel 

part of something 

bigger. 

Rachel Coffey | BA MA NLP Mstr 

Life coach 


TIME FOR SOME 

deskercise 

How are your muscles and joints feeling post-quarantine? Whether you’re 

still working from home, or are transitioning back to office life, here we 

share four desk-based exercises to ease your aches and pains 

Writing | Becky Wright 

78 • happiful.com • October 2020 

None of us had an identical 

lockdown. You may 

have been working 

from home, like me, at a 

makeshift desk (aka the kitchen 

table) for months on end. Perhaps 

you became head of your child’s 

homeschool, spending hours 

stooped over them, decoding 

worksheets that may as well have 

been written in another language. 

However your quarantine days 

were spent, it’s safe to say that our 

bodies and minds have been put 

to the test this year. The days of 

access to ergonomic chairs and 

workstation health and safety 

assessments, feel long ago. And not 

having the same supportive set up 

that you would in an office means 

you may find that your shoulders, 

neck or back are hurting after long 

days spent sitting awkwardly. 

Libby Palmer, massage therapist 

at the Brixton Therapy Centre, 

who specialises in treating workrelated 

and postural pain, says 

she often sees a pattern of injury 

and alignment issues arising from 

poor posture while working seated 

at a desk.

“A client with typical desk posture 

presents with the neck being in an 

unnatural forward position, which, 

in turn, leads to the shoulders 

becoming rounded and protruding 

forward,” says Libby. “Migraines, 

numbness, and tingling in the arms 

and hands, are frequent problems, 

as well as carpal tunnel syndrome 

due to nerve impingement. 

“Back pain is also very common 

due to long periods being seated, 

which can result in the abdominal 

muscles becoming weak, further 

contributing to lower back pain.” 

These aches and pains are not 

only making us uncomfortable, 

but we’re also less productive as 

a result. People in the UK take 

a staggering 28 million days off 

work a year because of muscle 

and bone problems. So it’s likely 

that, whether you’ve been working 

from home since the start of the 

pandemic, or are now starting to 

return to office life, those familiar 

aches and pains may be causing 

you a problem. 

People in the UK take 

a staggering 28 million 

days off work a year 

because of muscle 

and bone problems 

The good news is, it doesn’t have 

to be this way. “Looking after your 

posture doesn’t have to be time 

consuming or expensive,” says 

Libby. “Take time to stretch the 

neck, back and shoulders, rotate 

your arms, and vary what you do. 

There are many free, online short 

stretching routines to choose 

from. Booking a regular massage 

can also be beneficial as this can 

address desk posture issues before 

they become a real problem,” 

advises Libby. 

EXERCISES FOR SITTING 

AT YOUR DESK 

When you start to feel stiff, the 

following tension-releasing 

stretches can help prevent and ease 

muscular pain – and you can do 

them discreetly without disturbing 

your colleagues. Or, better yet, why 

not get your colleagues involved? 

SEATED BACKBEND 

Bring yourself to the front of your 

chair. Firmly place your feet on 

the floor and inhale deeply. Place 

both hands, palms down, behind 

your back. Gently push your 

body forward as you lower your 

shoulders, relaxing your head 

towards the back of the chair. Hold 

for 10 seconds before releasing. 

SHOULDER CIRCLES 

Sitting up straight, begin circling 

your shoulders forward slowly. 

After 10 reps, change direction and 

circle the shoulders backwards. 

The slower the movement, the 

more tension you will release. 

OBLIQUE TWIST 

On your swivel chair, sit towards the 

front. Sit up straight and place your 

hands, palms down on the desk. 

Squeeze your knees together and 

lift your feet off the floor slightly. 

Without moving your chest, start 

gently twisting the chair from side 

to side. Twist as far as comfortable 

and repeat five times on each side. 

FIGURE OF EIGHT 

Place your right hand on your left 

shoulder. Take your left hand under 

ARE YOU SITTING 

COMFORTABLY? 

“To keep healthy while working 

from home, it’s important to find 

a suitable space with a desk and 

chair that allows you to work 

without straining the neck and 

shoulders,” Libby says. 

“You should be able to sit 

upright with your back supported 

and your legs should fit under 

the desk, so you can reach your 

keyboard without the neck and 

shoulders protruding forward. 

The wrists should also be 

supported, as bad positioning 

while typing can result in extreme 

pain, and even cause disability.” 

your right arm and place it on your 

right shoulder. Your elbows should 

be aligned in front of you. 

With your elbows, trace an 

imaginary figure of eight in front 

of you. It should be no bigger than 

15cm tall. For an extra stretch, 

you can then swap and put your 

left arm above the right, and trace 

the figure of eight in the opposite 

direction. 

This is excellent for improving 

movement through your upper and 

mid-spine. 

Remember, be mindful of the 

amount of time you’re spending 

seated. Be sure to get up every 

hour or so, and get your shoulders, 

neck and upper back moving 

again. Keep hydrated, too. Getting 

up to refill your water bottle is 

a good sign that you’re drinking 

enough and, better still, is likely to 

mean that you’re getting up to go to 

the loo regularly, too! 


Photography | Toa Heftiba 

“ 

What keeps life fascinating is the 

constant creativity of the soul 

DEEPAK CHOPRA

Happiful reads… 

From candid memoirs to books that are definitely not ‘self-help’, we 

share four upcoming reads you won’t want to miss 

Writing | Bonnie Evie Gifford 

In her latest book, clinical 

psychologist Lauren Callaghan 

shares eight key ways you can 

support someone you love 

who has anxiety or obsessional 

problems. Aimed specifically 

at supporting those who care 

for friends or family who are 

struggling with their mental 

health, How Can I Help? shares 

how we can continue to look 

after our own mental wellbeing 

at the same time. 

With fears around our future, 

current events, and even dayto-day 

stresses and strains, 

Must reads 

it’s perhaps not so surprising 

that the latest statistics show 

8.2 million of us in the UK 

experience anxiety. Added to 

that the fact that one in four of us 

will experience a mental health 

problem of some kind each year, 

and one in six people report 

common mental health problems 

(like anxiety) in England in any 

given week, a lot of us will be 

asking what we can do to support 

the people we care about in their 

time of need. 

With the help of this accessible, 

no-nonsense guide, author 

How Can 

I Help? 

By Lauren 

Callaghan 

Out now 

Lauren talks us through the 

tools, tips, and strategies we can 

use to help our loved ones on 

their journey, without damaging 

our own mental health and 

wellbeing. 

Sh**ged. Married. 

Annoyed by Chris & 

Rosie Ramsey 

Out now 

From the hosts of 

the chart-topping 

podcast ‘Sh**ged. Married. 

Annoyed.’ comes the couple’s 

debut book, focusing on all 

things love, sex, and relationship 

related, and filled with honesty 

and hilarity. Sh**ged. Married. 

Annoyed. might declare itself not 

a ‘self-help book’ with ‘absolutely 

no advice you should follow 

yourself’, but it’s a must-read for 

couples (and singles) at any stage 

of their relationship. 

Violet Bent 

Backwards Over the 

Grass by Lana 

Del Rey 

29 September 

Internationally 

acclaimed singer-songwriter 

Lana Del Ray’s first collection of 

poems is set to hit the shelves 

this autumn. Eclectic and honest, 

this collection of 30 poems 

is accompanied by original 

photography taken by Lana. 

Alongside the release of the 

hardback edition comes a mustlisten-to 

audiobook version, 

featuring 14 of the poems read by 

Lana herself. 

This is me 

by Mrs Hinch 

1 October 

Following up 

from her bestselling 

Hinch 

Yourself Happy, the social media 

star and cleaning sensation Mrs 

Hinch opens up in her latest 

book – and it’s all about Soph, 

the person behind Mrs Hinch. 

While her journey has often felt 

like a fairytale, it’s also been 

filled with highs, lows, fears, 

and challenges. Discover more 

about her whirlwind journey 

in this extraordinarily candid 

memoir.

The 

seven-day 

plastic-free 

challenge 

We’ve got a problem with 

plastic. The world produces 

more than 380 million 

tonnes of the stuff every 

year, and these products 

can take up to 500 years 

to decompose. So is it 

possible to kick the habit? 

Happiful’s Kathryn Wheeler 

gave it a go 

Cards on the table, when 

sustainable online shop Let’s 

Go Plastic Free challenged me 

to give up plastic for a week, my first 

reaction was a nervous: “But how?” 

I try to live an environmentallyconscious 

life, but the idea of living 

‘plastic-free’ had me stumped. Yet, 

armed with some reusable goodies 

from Let’s Go Plastic Free, and 

some extra treats, I was up for the 

challenge and ready to face my own 

plastic habit. 

So where to begin? How about, the 

trusty toothbrush – the first thing you 

reach for in the morning? This week 

I swapped my electric toothbrush for 

a bamboo brush from Truthbrush, 

along with some natural, plastic-free 

toothpaste, floss, and mouthwash 

tablets from Georganics. I love 

the way the bamboo toothbrush 

looks, and it feels the same as any 

ordinary toothbrush – though if 

you’re used to an electric brush, it 

obviously has less ‘omph’. 

Into the shower and I’m trading 

my normal bottled shampoo for 

some eco-alternatives. I’ve always 

been intrigued by the idea of solid 

shampoos and conditioners, but 

just never got around to trying them 

– until now. The handmade solid 

shampoos from Proud Mary smell 

divine, and go on easily once you’ve 

worked it through your hair. My 

tip: don’t be surprised if they don’t 

lather up the way that common 

products do – persist, and know 

that they’re working their magic! 

Around the home, I had 

everything under control. 

Reusable cleaning cloths? 

Check. Beeswax food wraps? 

Check. Natural surface sprays 

and washing liquid? A squeaky 

clean check. But then it came to 

venturing out to do a food shop 

– the part of the week I was most 

concerned about. Zero waste 

shops are starting to pop up 

around the country, and you can 

find one near you by heading to 

zerowastenear.me. But for me, it 

was off to my local supermarket 

and while, when I had a choice, I 

picked items that weren’t wrapped 

in plastic, some things were 

unavoidable and this marked my 

first collection of plastic in the

Truthbrush, bamboo toothbrush, £4.50 | Georganic, natural toothpaste, £6.90, mouthwash tablets, £8.90 | Proud Mary, shampoo and conditioner 

combo, £20.20, face bar, £6.60 | KAIRN, pencil razor, £37, skin balm, £22 | Bambaw, reusable makeup remover pads, £14.28. 

form of packaging. Total count 

for my single-person household? 

Seven pieces of single-use plastic. 

Tapping into a bit of self-care in 

the evening is one of my favourite 

ways to wind down, and a good 

skincare routine can be really 

soothing. This week, I tried out 

the Bambaw reusable makeup 

remover pads – which are like 

large cotton pads – along with the 

Proud Mary Honey-Bee all-in-1 

Face Bar. The result? A clean, 

makeup-free face, pampered by 

the gentle texture of the bamboo 

pads – that feel like an indulgent 

treat on the skin. A winner in my 

mascara-free eyes. 

Shaving is another wasteful area 

of the beauty industry, so I gave 

up my reliable plastic razor for a 

metal pencil razor from KAIRN – a 

plastic-free, genderless shaving 

company – pairing it with some 

gorgeously scented shaving oils and 

balms from their range. I’ll admit, 

the safety razor did intimidate me 

at first but, after watching a couple 

of how-to videos on YouTube, I 

was off. For now, I may be sticking 

to using the pencil razor on the 

straight lines of my leg, but with 

time I’m sure I’ll build up the 

confidence to try a knee, or two. 

By the end of the week, I was 

actually surprised at how easily 

the challenge fitted into my daily 

life. Yes, there were areas that were 

more difficult than others, but if 

there’s one thing I’m going to take 

away from this challenge, it’s that it 

doesn’t actually have to be hard to 

make some simple, eco-conscious 

changes that have a big impact in 

the long-run. 

So often when it comes to these 

things, we deal in absolutes. But 

by making small swaps in our 

everyday lives, we have the power 

Bee Green Wraps Reusable 

Beeswax Food Wraps 

Georganics Dental Floss 

Onya Bread Bag 

KAIRN Bergamot, Juniper, & 

Orange Shave Oil 

WE RECOMMEND: 

Bee Green Wraps Reusable 

Beeswax Food Wraps 

£4.99–£10.99 

These gorgeous wraps will 

keep your food safe so you can 

ditch single-use clingfilm. 

Georganics Dental Floss 

£4.90 

This compostable floss comes 

in a smart glass bottle, and 

delivers the results 

you’re used to. 

Onya Bread Bag 

£13.95 

Carry your bread home and 

have it to hand, or freeze it for 

later in this ‘vintage-inspired’ 

airtight bag. 

KAIRN Bergamot, Juniper, & 

Orange Shave Oil 

£19 

This shave oil will leave your 

skin soft and soothed, and 

comes in stunning 

plastic-free packaging. 

Happiful readers can 

get 10% off at Let’s Go 

Plastic Free using the 

code HAPPY10. Head to 

letsgoplasticfree.co.uk 

to discover the range 

to make a huge difference. You 

don’t have to give up everything 

at once – and you shouldn’t feel 

pressured to throw away all your 

plastic in favour of fashionable ecoproducts, 

that’s counterintuitive 

– but with time and a little bit of 

experimentation, we can all find 

methods of making a difference in 

a way that works for us.

7 steps to 

tackling the 

symptoms of SAD 

Do you find your mood takes a dip over the winter months? If so, you 

may be experiencing seasonal affective disorder. But the good news 

is, there are ways to lift the effects and boost your mood 

Writing | Lindsay George 

During the dark winter 

months, many of us 

may notice a drop in our 

mood. With shorter days 

and gloomy weather, research 

commissioned by The Weather 

Channel and YouGov, found 

that as many as 29% of adults 

experience symptoms of seasonal 

affective disorder (SAD), with 8% 

experiencing it to a severe degree. 

We aren’t certain why some 

people get SAD, but it’s believed 

that seasonal changes disrupt 

our circadian rhythm – the 24- 

hour clock that regulates how 

we function during sleeping 

and waking hours – which is 

responsible for making us feel 

energised and alert at certain times, 

and drowsy at others. 

For some people, the symptoms 

of SAD can be severe and have a 

significant impact on their dayto-day 

activities – plus all forms 

of depression can limit our ability 

to live life to its fullest, so it’s 

important to treat SAD seriously. 

So, what can you do to help yourself 

manage the symptoms of SAD? 

1. Make the most of the sunlight 

Try to find time to get outside 

during the day, and take advantage 

of what sunlight there is. Going on 

a gentle stroll around midday is 

ideal, as that’s when the sun is at 

its brightest – though if it’s cold, be 

sure to wrap up warm. Once you’re 

back indoors, keep your blinds 

open to let in as much natural light 

as you can. You want to be in bright 

environments whenever possible. 

2. Light therapy 

A useful tool to treat SAD can be 

a light therapy boxes, which is a 

special lamp that mimic sunshine. 

To qualify them for light therapy, 

lamps must have a brightness of 

at least 2,500 lux, and you can buy 

them in stores and online, with 

prices ranging from £20 to well 

into the hundreds. Sitting in front 

of a lightbox for about 30 minutes 

a day will stimulate your body’s 

circadian rhythms, and suppress 

its natural release of melatonin 

– the hormone that helps to 

promote sleep. To get the most 

out of your lightbox, try using it 

first thing in the morning when it’s 

most effective. 

3. Talking therapies 

Because SAD is a form of 

depression, it’s best diagnosed by 

your GP, who will additionally be 

able to establish whether you’re 

experiencing SAD as opposed 

to another form of depression. 

Counselling, such as cognitive 

behavioural therapy (CBT), could 

also help you work through your 

feelings, and become more in 

control of your mood. 

4. Antidepressant medication 

If light therapy or counselling does 

not sufficiently boost your mood, 

a prescription such as selective 

serotonin reuptake inhibitors 

(SSRIs) may be appropriate. Some 

people think it’s only necessary 

to take antidepressants during 

the winter when they’re feeling 

the blues, but they must do so 

every winter as it’s important to 

recognise when the symptoms 

of SAD start, and to see your GP 

before they escalate.

According to the NHS, 

symptoms include: 

• A persistent low mood. 

• A loss of pleasure or interest in 

normal everyday activities. 

• Irritability. 

• Feelings of despair, guilt, and 

worthlessness. 

• Feeling lethargic and sleepy 

during the day. 

• Sleeping for longer than normal, 

and finding it hard to get up in 

the morning. 

In the UK, 

29% of adults 

experience 

SAD 

5. St John’s Wort 

St John’s Wort is a natural herbal 

remedy that some people find 

to be effective for depressive 

symptoms, including SAD. 

Although there is limited 

evidence to prove the effect 

of St John’s Wort, some small 

studies have been published to 

support it, and the NHS notes 

that this over-the-counter remedy 

could soothe mild to moderate 

symptoms. That said, the herbal 

remedy can interact with other 

common medicines, so be sure 

to speak to your GP before giving 

it a go. 

6. Diet and nutrition 

Food can have a huge influence 

on our mood. Did you know that 

90% of our serotonin and 50% 

of our dopamine is produced in 

our gut? Therefore, eating more 

oily fish, red meat, liver, egg yolk, 

and fortified foods such as most 

fat spreads and some breakfast 

cereals, will not only improve your 

gut health, but also increase your 

overall wellbeing. 

7. Vitamin D supplements 

A study published in the journal 

Nutrients in 2014 found that people 

who took vitamin D (the sunshine 

vitamin) supplements saw 

significant improvement in 

their depressive symptoms, 

and Public Health England 

even recommends that we 

take a daily supplement 

containing 10 micrograms of 

vitamin D between October 

and March. For many, this is an 

inexpensive way to treat 

mild SAD. 

Lindsay George 

is a counsellor, 

psychotherapist, and 

registered nurse. 

Find Lindsay on the 

Happiful app.

“ 

The richness I achieve comes from 

nature, the source of my inspiration 

CLAUDE MONET 

Photography | Ameer Basheer

TRUE LIFE 

Please note this story contains 

details which some readers may 

find triggering or distressing. 

Breaking the silence 

Following childhood abuse, and feeling 

abandoned by her father, Emma-Jane Taylor 

experienced trauma that no one should have to. 

Over the years, she tried every type of therapy you 

can imagine, but the most liberating thing was 

finding the courage to speak up 

Writing | Emma-Jane Taylor 

In 1981, I was sexually 

abused by the restaurant 

owner who befriended 

my family on a holiday 

overseas. I was nine years 

old. I had no idea what had 

happened to me that night, 

or that it was going to be a 

trigger later in my life. 

I lived with my mum and 

stepfather, but every other 

weekend I would spend 

with my biological father. 

My parents separated when 

I was about three years old, 

and I was happy with my 

life – I knew no different. 

Some of my earliest, 

happiest memories were 

of the weekends with my 

father. I idolised him; he 

was my hero, someone I 

couldn’t wait to see. He had 

a twinkle in his eye, and 

would make me laugh. I 

loved him deeply. But that 

was about to change. 

In 1984, when I was 12, 

my father picked me up 

for the weekend. After a 

short drive, he stopped 

the car. He told me there 

was a “problem in our 

relationship’’. I felt sick. 

I wasn’t sure what he 

meant until the next 

night when he called and 

told me he couldn’t have 

a relationship with me 

again until I was older. 

I replaced the receiver 

and ran out the house with 

my mum and stepfather 

in hot pursuit, with hot 

tears streaming down my 

face. In the blink of an eye 

my hero had gone. I was 

devastated. 

My father abandoning 

me has affected my 

relationships ever 

since. I struggled to 

make decisions for a 

long time for fear of 

the consequences. 

Life became a sea of 

darkness; I was a nervous 

wreck and suffered with 

abandonment issues. I 

went off the rails at school, 

at home, and with myself. 

I was deeply insecure, 

vulnerable, with low selfesteem, 

and desperate to 

be loved and needed. 

I lost my memory for a 

big chunk of time, and 

cried constantly. The once 

happy child was fading 

away, and in her place 

became a withdrawn, 

nervous, and sad girl. 

High school became a 

troubling time, and I had 

no enthusiasm. It wasn’t 

long before I was labelled 

a ‘juvenile delinquent’ and 

sent to a child psychologist. 

I also had a weekly meeting 

with one of my teachers, 

but it was a waste of time 

– I just cried and skirted 

around the truth, too afraid 

to say anything. 

In 1985, aged 13, I fell 

into a sexually abusive 

relationship with a much 

older man who, until this 

point, had been known 

to my family, and was 

someone I completely 

trusted. He took advantage 

of me, carefully groomed 

me, and became my friend 

– I guess he became my 

missing father figure. >>> 


He showered me with 

affection and gifts. But 

there was a price to pay; 

I was degraded, tortured, 

raped, and manipulated. 

He controlled my every 

move, would follow 

my bus to school, and 

watch me go in through 

the gates. He would be 

there when I got on the 

bus to come home. He 

was obsessed. He would 

manipulate me to sneak 

out from my house in the 

middle of the night. He 

would give me alcohol 

and drugs, and then take 

advantage of me. 

My schooling suffered, 

I became addicted to 

painkillers to numb 

the hangovers. I drank 

heavily, smoked, took 

drugs, laxatives, and 

became bulimic. I was lost 

and broken with suicidal 

thoughts. 

I trusted this older man, 

and no one else. Hindsight 

is a great thing, and I can 

now see how easily this 

happened. I was a sitting 

duck, a child abandoned 

by her biological father, 

vulnerable, who had no 

self-worth. 

In 1987, aged 15, I started 

to realise right from 

wrong, and I mustered up 

the strength to step away 

from him – but it wasn’t 

easy. He was everywhere 

I went. He would threaten 

me, and at times I was 

unsure if I’d survive his 

temper, but other days 

I didn’t care if I lived or 

died. I spiralled into an 

abyss of darkness, afraid to 

talk, scared to let go of the 

secrets inside of me. 

I spiralled into an 

abyss of darkness, 

afraid to talk, scared 

to let go of the secrets 

inside of me 

For years I questioned 

why I let this happen to me 

– why didn’t I talk about it? 

I have learnt that abusers 

are good at making you 

feel like everything is OK, 

and even though I was 

scared of him, and what 

was happening, I was 

more scared that no one 

would believe me. 

Through my recovery 

years in therapy, I’ve 

learned to forgive, I’ve 

understood that my 

perpetrators need help, 

and I understand I am not 

a victim. I am a survivor. I 

believe I was in the wrong 

place at the wrong time 

with the wrong people, 

but I’ve been taught 

valuable lessons that can 

now help others. I’m open 

to therapy at any time, and 

I encourage others to speak 

up. It’s OK not to be OK. We 

can’t fight pain with pain. 

I did an A–Z of therapy 

over the years. I had 

regular counselling, but I 

felt that hypnotherapy and 

psychotherapy helped the 

most – though it was tough. 

Some days my therapist 

would take me back into 

difficult situations (with my 

consent) to help me release 

locked memories, and other 

days we did gentle sessions 

to aid my recovery. 

I remember one particular 

hypnotherapy session 

where we went deeper into 


If I had my life again I would 

prefer to not experience what 

I have, but I have found my 

strength to speak up, to stand 

tall, and I have learnt to use my 

voice to support others 

‘Don’t Hold Back’ by 

Emma-Jane Taylor is 

available on Amazon, and 

visit emmajanetaylor.life 

for more from her. 

my locked memories, 

which I can categorically 

tell you was the toughest 

day of my life – but 

equally the best day. So 

much pain was released, 

and after a few quiet days 

resting, I started to regain 

my strength. 

I’ve tried many 

treatments to support my 

mental state, including 

acupuncture, meditation, 

yoga, clairvoyance, 

EFT, and reflexology. 

If I feel wobbled now, I 

usually check-in with my 

clairvoyant. She is a great 

focus for me, and someone 

I wholeheartedly trust. 

If I had my life again 

I would prefer to not 

experience what I have, 

but after nearly 36 years 

I’ve found my strength to 

speak up, to stand tall, and 

I have learnt to use my 

voice to support others. I 

don’t want anyone else to 

suffer in silence as I did. 

In 2018, I took part in a 

BBC Three documentary, 

and was asked what my 

biggest regret was. I don’t 

like to have regrets, but 

having to give an answer 

it was simple: I regret not 

speaking up sooner. 

I started my therapy in 

1994, aged 22, and I also 

launched my business – 

they ran in parallel lives. 

I have faced many fears, 

risen to many challenges, 

and in 2018 I published my 

first self-help book, Don’t 

Hold Back. 

I’m an entrepreneur 

running a series of 

lifestyle businesses, and 

I now do public speaking 

engagements. I’ve worked 

with the BBC, That’s TV, 

and my new YouTube 

Channel ‘The Emma-Jane 

Taylor Show’. I present the 

Mid-Morning Matters show 

for Marlow FM Radio, and 

am thoroughly enjoying 

my freedom. 

I feel liberated since I 

found the confidence to 

speak up. I’ve opened up 

many opportunities, and 

learnt to support others 

suffering in silence. 


Emma’s powerful 

story shows bravery 

and courage. Having 

faced such traumatic 

experiences, her 

determined attitude to 

seek help and overcome 

her personal difficulties 

is inspiring. Emma 

is a shining example 

of how speaking out 

about what’s going on 

internally can 

have a truly 

life changingimpact. 

Rav Sekhon | BA MA MBACP (Accred) 

Counsellor and psychotherapist 


I don’t find myself 

on the life course I 

had planned 

That inner voice 

tears me down 

Other people 

make me 

feel small 

The world around me seems 

scary and uncertain 

I need space 

It feels like there are 

bigger things to focus 

on than myself 

I compare myself to others 

I am still 

worthy of love, 

even when... 

I am full of self-doubt 

I’m struggling 

with my 

mental health 

I don’t meet 

other people’s 

expectations 

I say the wrong thing 

I don’t achieve 

everything I 

hoped for 

I can’t help 

someone I love 

I feel at my lowest 

I feel frustrated 

with myself 

I am healing

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