Frank Get The Door! by Janey Godley sampler
Since lockdown began, people have woken up to Janey Godley’s comedy by the hundreds of thousands… [She] has provided much-needed relief throughout the coronavirus pandemic with her gallus Glesga interpretations which have been shared around the country with much glee. – Daily Record ‘Ye’ve been TELT. Everybuddy’s gonnae die if yeez aw keep gaun aboot an meetin each other an gaun hame wi a virus oan ye. So Ah’ve telt ye wance an Ah’m no gonnae tell ye again. This is the official line. If Ah see any o you oot there, Ah’m gonnae take a run an pit ma toe up the crack o yer arse. SO QUIT IT! Stey in the hoose, wash yer hands an keep yer family safe.’
Since lockdown began, people have woken up to Janey Godley’s comedy by the hundreds of thousands… [She] has provided much-needed relief throughout the coronavirus pandemic with her gallus Glesga interpretations which have been shared around the country with much glee. – Daily Record
‘Ye’ve been TELT. Everybuddy’s gonnae die if yeez aw keep gaun aboot an meetin each other an gaun hame wi a virus oan ye. So Ah’ve telt ye wance an Ah’m no gonnae tell ye again. This is the official line. If Ah see any o you oot there, Ah’m gonnae take a run an pit ma toe up the crack o yer arse. SO QUIT IT! Stey in the hoose, wash yer hands an keep yer family safe.’
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
‘<strong>Get</strong> out, you’re barred!’<br />
<strong>The</strong> drunk man, stood like a sailor trying to stay<br />
stable on a listing boat on a high tide. He swayed<br />
forward, he grabbed the juke box, he swayed back<br />
and grabbed the peanut machine on the wall. He<br />
pulled his trousers up really high, much higher than<br />
any man should, possibly trapping and separating<br />
his knick-knacks. With a dancing gait, much like<br />
a pantomime milkmaid in full hip-swinging dance<br />
mode, he ran at the door, lifted up one wonky leg<br />
and kicked the door hard as hell.<br />
<strong>The</strong> customers at the bar never even looked, they<br />
sighed and stared at each other as they knew<br />
the door was a pull-in not a kick-out, and soon<br />
that man would be bouncing backwards onto<br />
the tiles and they could take bets on his state of<br />
unconsciousness.<br />
Such was life before we had iPhone cameras and<br />
Twitter. We laughed at things in ‘real time’.<br />
It was at that moment the shout would go up ‘FRANK,<br />
<strong>Get</strong> the <strong>Door</strong>!’ and out of the smoky corner near the<br />
plastic palm tree would emerge <strong>Frank</strong>.<br />
Tall, Irish and a veteran of the Korean war, he wore<br />
12
Change language