Slipstream December 2020

6th Annual Halloween Porsche Gimmick Rally
by Mark Danielson
photos provided by Tom Heuerman
It’s rare when a Halloween event
actually falls on All Hallows Eve, but
since anything seems possible in 2020,
this really should have come as no
surprise. Earlier, the full moon raced
Unlike other rallies, Ginger and
Tom Heuerman designed this event to
be one-hundred percent electronic. In
theory, their many hours of preparing
the route and questions this way meant
up to their phone’s voice commands
for instructions. Unfortunately, the
Heuermans didn’t count on devilish
gargoyles sabotaging some phones,
ours being amongst them. Before even
and shortly after getting back on track, we pulled over to
double-check our position. While stopped, a fellow rally
Porsche pulled alongside to check on us. After explaining
our dilemma and that my wife and I had just swapped
phones, they nobly offered to lead the way and we quickly
pulled back on the road right in front of a Sheriff’s patrol
car. Almost immediately after, my wife’s phone gave a voice
command to turn right so we did. Although this move
ditched the cop, it also meant we lost our rally guide. (Second
sigh.) Quickly realizing this voice command erroneously
directed us off the route, we decided to go with Plan C and
switched our phones back, knowing that I would have to
constantly scroll the phone to keep it from going blank.
On a positive note, the cop that had been following us had
pulled someone else over and was now out of the game.
Feeling confident we were back on the correct route, we
began searching for the windmills, cemeteries, street signs,
and other things our ghoulish hosts had selected for us.
Though it seemed odd no other Porsches were sighted, we
still felt confident because we were definitely seeing objects
listed in the rally. Of course, confronting a half-dozen
weekend bicyclists riding line-abreast should be expected
on a two-lane road, but they soon moved into a single file so
we could pass. Soon after, a motorcycle policeman coming
from the opposite direction began waving us to the side to
make way for an oversized load convoy. After complying, he
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The Rally had quite the motley crew, from Ginger’s flying squirrel to Adam Tibbits and Patrick Bukowitz as lunch complete with condiments the
event was not dull. Carey Spreen channeled his inner Patrick McGoohan as Number Six from the 60’s show “The Prisoner”. Mark and Lyne Danielson
threatened to take the event over and pillage and plunder, but were eventually talked out of it with a first place treasure.
to drop before the sun rose, and the
brilliant red clouds deemed the sun
the winner, warming the chilly air
with its presence. By 9 am, polished
Porsches began streaming into the
White Settlement Community Center’s
parking lot with costumed drivers and
navigators inside.
14 December
the answers could be instantly tallied,
and they were confident everyone’s
phones would navigate them to the
Red River Station BBQ in Saint Jo
near the Oklahoma border.
The first car headed out shortly
after ten, its driver confident in making
the first left turn. After that, it was all
leaving the parking lot, my phone
showed the third turn on the route
to be our first. And while the route
was in blue, it didn’t have any “zone”
information, making it impossible to
answer any zone-related questions.
(Heavy sigh.) Less than two miles
into the route, we overshot a turn,
gave a friendly wave, though his gaze seemed unsure about
seeing a pirate and his wench inside. Once the convoy had
passed, our Porsche returned to the blacktop and rapidly
closed in on its destination.
By the time we arrived at the Saint Jo Square, all but
a few Porsches were in. With the remaining cars showing
up within minutes of our arrival, it was good to learn we
weren’t the only ones who had problems with the electronic
route. But since the point of any rally is to have fun and
drive a different part of the country, no one seemed upset.
I must say that when it comes to cooking, the Red River
Station BBQ knows what they’re doing. Their brisket was
some of the best I’ve had, and my wife equally enjoyed her
turkey. The restaurant’s outdoor setting provided plenty of
room for everyone to spread out and let the uninvited flies
enjoy the leftovers.
Of course, in every competitive event there must be
winners, and for the first time there was a sudden death
runoff for Third Place. Some talked while others eagerly
watched Carey Spreen and Charles Povana duke it out
with a quiz on the evolution of Halloween. As it were,
Carey narrowly edged out Charles to take the coveted
award. In Second Place were Raul and Lisa Pena, while
the proud Champions of the 6th Annual Halloween
Porsche Gimmick Rally went to none other than Human
Taco Patrick Bukowitz and his Hot Dog navigator, Adam
Tibbits -- the very people who offered to lead us across the
finish line. Well done, guys!
But what Halloween rally can go without costume
awards? Receiving the Second Place award crowned
Balloon Clown Carey Spreen and his navigator Sue Crimm
double winners. As for First Place, well, shiver me timbers,
that award went to none other than Pirate Mark and his
lass, Lyne Danielson. That’s right, we may not have won
the rally, but we still came home with gold treasure. ☺
Whether it be rallies, Sunday drives, laps around a
track, or a solo drive, there is never a bad time to
unleash a Porsche.
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