Experimental PDF flip book = Journal

Email sent to Joseph, August 3 rd 2020 - Feedback
Hello Joseph, Thank you for the opportunity to read and comment on your Short
Film concept. Initially I was not sure whether you were sharing just a concept or a
script outline, so I have commented on the need for correct formatting and have
included some useful resources.
I concluded that you seem fairly savvy with camera direction and shot types so
although this was not a correctly formatted script I just went with the ideas you
presented and I think it is all very doable. So that you are able to remove the
directions for the camera from your script its best to write an Action line that will
direct the camera without you calling the shot. For example – if a tear rolls down
someone’s’ cheek logic tells us it would be a clos-up.
You have shown creativity and imagination and I really like how the audience will
understand the setting that is the 1600s. Your ideas at present are expressive ideas,
that will need some thought regarding how you will show them especially the male
dominance and abusive attitudes towards women, from their perspectives. With
well-planned comparisons of gender power struggles you’ll be able to establish
powerful conflict and tensions. Remember to make the transitions clear when you
write the script especially the transitions between time periods.
Your story is a brilliant idea. Without being moralistic it highlights a current day
social issue. In the end though, you'll be forcing audiences to face the emotional,
psychological and social issues of abuse on women - and boom - the film is
over. The message and the impact of the film and I'm sure will stimulate
conversation among viewers who are stirred by the film’s message and the theme.
Are you working independently or with a group or student cohort? Putting your
heads together is a very effective way to generate additional ideas, so if you're
writing on your own just keep interacting with the FB Screenwriting Groups you
already associate with.
Continue to develop these ideas. They lend themselves an impactful Short film with
a serious social message.
Thanks again for giving me the chance to read and make comments. I hope they
are useful.
All the best, from Stephanie.