Experimental PDF flip book = Journal

each other and how you have captured this in your dialogue. It helps to draw the audience in so
that they remain engage with the story. The character traits and personalities so far ill benefit
from development, but you have already made an initial start.
OS is written in CAPS = (O.S.)
Go to the next page when beginning a new character’s dialogue rather than writing their name
on the bottom of one page then starting their dialogue on the next page.
It will be a challenge, but you’re up for it I’m sure - big blocks of exposition need to the broken
down and one way to do this is to put Actions or Dialogue between descriptions.
I’m not sure who you have chosen to be the main character in the story although it seems to be
the male, but it could be Katelyn, or one of the men? I suggest you make it more obvious to the
reader. If you go back to your outline or write one now, you will be able to clarity the story.
Another good way to do this is to write a logline because it will force you to state the story very
briefly with full attention to the Protagonist’s journey. This will assist you to demonstrate how
throughout the story the Protagonist’s life is changing and despite obstacles, their
determination to achieve their goal drives the story. Its important to showh how at the end of
the story they are no longer the person they were at the beginning – in other words they have
grown emotionally and spiritually and have learnt a lesson. I’m not sure who you want to
attract as your audience so this is an area that you will need to clarify for yourself, readers and
the potential audience.
You have done extremely well in describing the physical sexual interactions, but I think it would
make a much stronger story if you also included the emotional aspects of human relationships,
especially passion that is not purely sexual.
Several Scriptwriting and “How to” books that you might like to look at are:-
Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting
by Robert McKee
The Anatomy of Story: 22 Steps to Becoming a Master Storyteller
by John Truby
How to Write and Sell Your Screenplay
by Michael Hauge
The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers
by Christopher Vogler
Also have a look at Udemy – courses online – the Hauge & Vogler’s “ Hero’s Journey” is
excellent and so is one by Dani Alcorn called “ScreenWriters Workshop”. Reasonable prices.
You’ve got a credible idea Donny, worth developing. Additional research will open the many
more doors for you on the way to expanding your story and adding dimension to your
characters. Thank you for sharing your work and all the best from here on.
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