01907 Summer 2021

SUMMER 2021 | 29
She lights the way for parents
BY ANNE MARIE TOBIN
Joanne Light may be small in stature, but
when it comes to helping families navigate
through life’s parenting challenges and stresses,
Light packs a powerful punch.
Light is a parent-empowerment coach.
Her company, Joannelight.com, provides support
to parents by enabling them to discover
what they need to get to a better place.
"My mission is to guide parents in transforming
their journey so they have more joy,
feel positive about themselves as parents and
raise resilient and compassionate children,"
Light said. "Parenting is one of the hardest
jobs on earth. There is no such thing as a
perfect parent.
"It takes work on the parent's part. None
of us is perfect. I've made my mistakes, but
I really believe you can model behavior to
help your children face the world in a much
healthier way if the effort is there to connect
with them, to communicate with them and
teach them character and core values by sharing
yours with them in an honest way."
While Light works with families with
children of different ages, she is most passionate
about working with teens. She feels
that parents often miss the point when it
comes to behavior they interpret as unacceptable
when, in reality, it's normal.
"Teens get a bad rap as parents have
misconceptions about their actions and what
they should be doing," Light said. "If parents
knew how their brains are developing, they
would understand that what they are going
through is normal. Teens are supposed to
take risks. They are super learners and need
to explore everything. Bend a little as control
leads to resentment. Let them be who they
are — but that's very hard for parents."
There are some simple things parents
can do to strengthen their connections with
their kids, starting with having regular family
meetings.
"They are rituals where you can all gather
in a safe space," Light said. "Set the ground
rules, the most important one is being
respectful. Talk about things other than sex,
drugs, drinking. Instead, find things that are
of interest to everyone, then conclude the
meeting with a fun activity, like a walk or
going for ice cream."
According to Light, the biggest mistake
parents make when dealing with their kids is
not listening.
"Not learning how to start communication
and maintain open lines of communication
is the biggest thing I see," Light said.
"Parents don't realize how important their
role is in this critical stage of development.
All they want to do is stop arguing with their
kids, but when kids stop listening, they are
never going to make you happy."
Another mistake parents make is being
too controlling.
"Kids are constantly wondering if they
are good enough, and constant criticism leads
to emotional uncertainty," said Light. "They
need to be given their space. While letting
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them go may be hard on parents, that's what
teens need to have social and emotional wellness.
It's about responding, not reacting"
According to Light, parents also need to
learn to pick and choose their battles.
"Parents need to learn what to let go and
focus on the good," Light said. "I also feel
that parents need to take care of themselves.
You can't have social and emotional
intelligence without physical wellness. As
important as sleep is for teens, it's equally
important for parents."
A graduate of George Washington
University, Light earned a master's degree
in classics and education at the University of
Massachusetts and then earned her doctorate
in counseling and education at Boston
University. Her dissertation covered women's
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