CCChat-Magazine_Issue-27-Survivors-Speak

They don't want to have a cry in the
bloody toilet. Just a quiet space with
tissues, away from everyone, just so
someone can take 20 minutes if they
need to, and to compose themselves
before getting back to their desk and
for someone to ask discretely, is
everything ok? No one wants to sit on
the toilet crying silently, then walk
back to their desk, ignored by
colleagues too embarrassed to say
anything.
S: Nobody ever asked me if I was ok.
So for those three years, I was with my
ex perpetrator, nobody ever asked me
that. Lots of people knew what I was
going through, what he was like, but
nobody ever asked. I might not have
said something straight away, I might
not have disclosed straight away but it
would have planted a seed for me
because that person just took an
interest in me. So yeah, it's something
like having a little staff room that's got
tissues, and a comfy chair, which is
what SODA has now.
I’ve got a small office, some tissues, a
few candles and if anyone needs to use
it as a safe space, then that's what it's
for. They can just come in, take 5-10
minutes, have a glass of water, have a
cup of tea, gather your thoughts, make
a phone call and that’s it. That is what
a victim needs. I think a lot of people
have the attitude that they can’t get
involved. It's not about getting
involved. It's just having a little bit of
knowledge and understanding and just
asking that question. ‘Is everything
okay?’ SODA has collaborated with a
beauty salon. So where our offices are,
it’s a very busy hairdressers, beauty
salon and a florist and the staff are
asking more in depth questions,
haven’t seen you for a while, how are
you? Is everything okay? Things like
that, where it's not a ‘yes’ or ‘no’
answer. It gives victims the
opportunity, to open up and tell them
things are not ok, if they want to. It
gives both men and women the
opportunity to pop in, if they need to
talk to someone, if they need to access
support, services or anything at all,
they can always call.
M: I think that is amazing. A lot of
people already have that trust with
their hairdresser, so it is a natural
progression to build on that
relationship. It is also often easier to
open up at a hairdresser as the whole
relationship is quite intimate as there
is touch involved in the washing and
cutting process and I think it creates
an environment where it’s easier to be
able to open up.
S: The reason I collaborated with the
salon is because of the Cut It Out
campaign. Someone confided in her
hairdresser and a few weeks later, she
was stabbed her to death. A lot of
people have got a trusting relationship
Making The Invisible Visible