CCChat-Magazine_Issue-27-Survivors-Speak

was broken and meek, a shrivelled up
person and I spoke to her and asked
why are you allowing yourself to be in
this environment with this abusive
man? Working on this project I started
to really examine her slowly getting
pulled in and instead of looking at her
and asking why are you allowing
yourself to become this broken
individual, actually seeing how these
little ideas slowly started getting
planted in her head and how further
and further and further she got down
the rabbit hole, at the hands of an
abuser. Being able to start to look at
the same dynamic on a smaller scale
has been incredibly profound and
something that we should just be
easy to brush them aside - she’ll be
fine, he’s not that bad, they’ll figure it
out and it was hard to say those things
out loud but we need to say that this
type of abuse is extremely dangerous
because it can lead to more dangerous
things and staying in a relationship for
years, what does that do to you? For
me, I feel like the take away is that
these groups are dangerous.
Emotional abuse is extremely
dangerous and hopefully we can
educate lawmakers and law
enforcement to help them understand
how to prosecute before they become
murders.
Being able...to look at the same dynamic on a smaller scale
has been incredibly profound..,the same cycle is happening
all around us, we’re just not aware."
Morgan
shouting from the roof tops. It isn’t the
other, the same cycle is happening all
around us, we’re just not aware.
Min: It’s the same with bullying, with
online bullying. It’s the same dynamic,
a drip, drip process that pulls you in
slowly. It’s literally quicksand except
not so quick.
Naomi: It’s the same exact process and
it’s very dangerous. I was talking to the
family that I’m helping to try and
understand what coercive control is
and the slippery slope that their
daughter might be in and the hard
thing for me to say to them was that
this is very dangerous and the feelings
that you are feeling are valid and that
scary feeling you are having in your gut
is real and help them validate those
feelings because a lot of the time it's
Tabby: I’m going into therapy and the
specialty I’m going into is coercive
control in parenting because we don’t
actually think about the extreme level
of coercion we use as parents and
much of it is not necessary. We are
taught to believe that, as children, it’s
ok but now as an adult it’s not ok.
Naomi: Because at the heart of it, you
don’t know any better, right? I’m the
parent, I’m the husband, you don’t
know anything and I’m going to teach
you. That is so disempowering
especially for children. I was talking to
my grandmother a couple of days ago
and she asked why do you think my
Dad joined the Family? He was so
smart, we gave him everything, he
wanted for nothing. There are a couple
of things that happened in his life that
led him to join but at the heart of it,
Making The Invisible Visible