CCChat-Magazine_Issue-27-Survivors-Speak

I was then asked to be on this
committee to assist with Jennifer’s
Law in the state of Connecticut, so
that's my story and that's how I am
where I am now.I should say, COVID
was the best blessing to me because
when my children were forced to
shuttle between two homes, that is
when they were able to see that he is
an abuser. I never would say your
dad's a horrible person, but I would
say what he said is untrue or I'm sorry
that happened to you, honey, that
wasn't nice. I wouldn't put him down,
but I would put the behaviour down.
They were still confused, because they
had heard for 10 years that I was crazy,
that I was this awful person.
realise, whoa, what is he doing? Every
time I want to go to mom's he behaves
this way. Why is he doing this? And
why is he calling her all these names
all of the time yet he has another
girlfriend? Covid was my blessing, yes,
so they see clearly now. My daughter
is with me 100% and my son too, they
both live with me. My son's
relationship with his dad is very
limited and my daughter, right now,
has nothing to do with him and of
course, he's accusing me of being a
parental alienator which is what his
mother did to him when he was a
child, it's literally textbook as I'm sure
you're aware.
" COVID was the best blessing to me because when my children
were forced to shuttle between two homes, that is when
they were able to see that he is an abuser."
They heard horrible things about my
family who are the most amazing
people and he would pretend that he
loved them, they didn't know what to
do. I ended up having to leave with just
the items in the trunk of my car. He
locked me out of my own home that we
spent our life savings on and I lost all
of that. They could either go home,
stay in their bedrooms, in our beautiful
home that I had decorated, or they
could come and stay with me in my
two bedroom tiny, tiny apartment and
of course, what did they want to do?
They wanted to stay in their own
home. Anytime they wanted to visit
with me, he would retaliate. He began
doing the same thing to them that he
did to me, turns off the electricity in
the garage so they cannot leave their
home to visit me, hides the car keys
and because of COVID they began to
M: What you're saying will resonate
with so many readers. I didn't realise I
was abused because I was led to
believe I was the crazy one, I was
either paranoid or overreacted, or
petty, or always looking for a fight and
that is how it was framed. It's
only looking back now that I realise
that I put up with an awful lot but
because I didn't want to come across as
over sensitive and overacting to trivial
things, I let a lot of things go.
C: I'm doing a research study right
now exactly about what you're talking
about. So, like this idea of subjugation
and how oftentimes victims are the
people pleasers, they're trying to fix
things, they let things go, really
empathic, all of those characteristics.
Making The Invisible Visible