CCChat-Magazine_Issue-27-Survivors-Speak

Morgan: And who fosters an
environment where contrary beliefs
and ideas can’t be challenged. When
there’s an environment where you
cannot ask questions, or when you do
ask questions and it is deflected and
put back on you – why are YOU asking
these questions? Why is this an issue
for you? These are red flags. I know we
talked about this a lot when we were
talking about this project. There
should be a class in high school that
talks about this, that highlights that
coercion exists in the world, it can get
malignant in a cultic environment, it
can get malignant in a domestic abuse
situation but you can also see this in
your own workplace.
they’re telling me and their gut feeling
is valid. I think that sometimes we
miss these things and we excuse this
behaviour, we think they are fine but
oftentimes if it smells or if it feels
wrong, there IS something wrong. The
things we can do, and I’m not an
expert on this but from what I’ve done
and what I know, is that if you want to
help someone who is in a situation,
and you feel like you’ve said something
like ‘”Oh, I don’t think this person is
good for you.” That person is going to
think of course they are good for me, I
love them and I’m not leaving them
because there’s nothing going on.
“You cannot ask questions, or when you do ask questions and it is deflected and
put back on you – why are YOU asking these questions?
Why is this an issue for you? These are red flags."
Morgan
Any time where you feel like part of
your person is being stripped away
from you so that you become
compliant, to better serve whatever
environment you’re in, that’s a red
flag. Step back out and start to really
assess the situation.
Naomi: You know, I’m dealing with a
personal situation with someone that I
know. I was trying to help the parents
try to understand what they’re
daughter is in and it sounds to me,
from what they have told me, that she
is in a coercive-control relationship
with her husband who wants to isolate
her from everyone. He wants to take
her away from everything she knows
and is limiting the amount of work that
she is doing, he basically doesn’t want
her to work and they have three small
children. I told them that everything
They’re not ready to see the things, so
my advice that I gave was that you
need to work on that trust bond. They
are broken down and don’t feel like
they have any self-worth. This person
is constantly breaking them down,
telling them that they’re nothing
without them, you know, all of the
stories, you don’t know anything, you
chose the wrong job, don’t worry, I’ll
take care of you, I got you, sounds
great, right? But they have no voice in
the relationship, every time they want
to say something, every time they want
to have an opinion. I think the actual
things we can do to help someone who
is in a situation like this is to continue
to work on that trust bond, supporting
them, continuing that relationship
with them and asking questions,
getting their advice, making them feel
like they have a purpose in this world
Making The Invisible Visible