LMT Aug 30 - Vol 114 - issue 36

A Dodge Ad Like
You’ve Never Seen
lmtimes.ca • Last Mountain Times • Monday, August 30, 2021 • /lastmountaintimes • @lmtimes
Photo Caption: If there’s one thing better than a ridiculous sales gimmick, it’s a
satirical take on a ridiculous sales gimmick, such as this doctored advertisement.
Years ago, I was at an event in the valley put on by the Majestics Car Club. It
wasn’t your typical poker run or show-and-shine, but rather a day at the kart
track at the top of the hill. Racing is fun, but being ridiculous is even more fun.
I think every event had a co-pilot, but that was a long time ago. One I remember
was a table waiter sort of thing, where the driver drove, and the passenger
held a tray of drinks out the window. Obviously, the object was to be the fastest
one with the most drinks left, and each spilled drink had a
CAMSHAFT certain so-many-second penalty. A great idea on paper, and
it went pretty well for some. Unfortunately for me, I got dealt
CORNER
an all-too-typical Saskatchewan hand of doom when the wind
KELLY KIRK took the entire tray out of the hand of my co-pilot. What’s a
guy who has been fully penalized supposed to do? Floor it,
obviously. It helped, but not enough to win. More difficult yet
was the blindfolded driver challenge, a challenge so difficult
that it requires an area exactly like that, with soft ditches
and no hazards. The driver drove with taped-up goggles,
and the passenger spouted off “a little to the left” and other
helpful sayings that felt more like grass than pavement. Even
continues on page 12
Coffee Break
WEEK OF AUGUST 29
HOROSCOPE
TO SEPTEMBER 4, 2021
THE LUCKIEST SIGNS THIS WEEK:
LEO, VIRGO AND LIBRA
ARIES
You’ll have a lot of running around to do.
Whether it’s at work or at home, there’ll
be many details to sort out. You might
also be let in on a surprising secret. New
friend ships will form spontaneously.
TAURUS
You might finally get the green light to
finance a project. You may consider starting
your own business from home with
a fa mily member. Inspiration and intuition
will point you in the right direction.
GEMINI
A lot of things are happening at once,
but you might still feel like things aren’t
mo ving fast enough. You’ll have some
great ideas to suggest, which will impress
your significant other.
CANCER
Your health might hold you back a bit.
How ever, this situation gives you an opportunity
to pause and get a better perspective
on your personal and professional
future. Spi rituality will become a big
part of your life.
LEO
Stress is ever­present, but it’s also a source
of energy that can help you be more efficient.
SAGITTARIUS
It’s when you find yourself up
It’s always easier to get along with people
against a wall that you can work miracles.
You’ll experience love at first sight,
ship. One of your children will give you
Copyright © 2020, Penny Press | ANSWER IN CLASSIFIED SECTION
if you don’t have a personal relation­
crossword
which may leave you confused if you’re
a hard time about the way you discipline.
not single.
If you’re tactful, you can manage
ACROSS
22. Bro’s sib to resolve a major 47. conflict. Oklahoma city
VIRGO
1. Swine At work, food you’ll be handed new 24. responsibilities
that don’t match your 25. skillset. Fine wool There are many 52. details Prickly to consider feeling
this
To’s associate CAPRICORN51. Bad humor
5. Soothing
Fortuna tely, taking on this challenge will
week. At work, you’ll be in charge of an
medicine be what gets you promoted. It’ll 29. also help Crack and event that brings 56. together Window a lot of people, part
9. Not young get approval for a new and roughen
exciting
and communication 57. may Boar’s not be mate easy.
project.
Fortuna tely, your patience will pay off.
12. Grandma 33. Yuck!
58. Accurate
13. On LIBRA the briny 34. Prize medal AQUARIUS 59. Send out
You’ll be inspired to go back to school
Your leadership skills will be needed at
14. Sorrow
36. Bother
60. Carpenter or
and get a degree. With this new knowledge,
you’ll tobe able to build a 37. better Not fu­
shallowto over come your army fear or a lack of self­
the office or elsewhere. You might have
15. Superior
ture. A romantic getaway could give your
confidence. Afterward, you’ll be considered
a hero, or at least your accomplish­
16. “____ Might 39. More nutritious 61. Ogler
relationship a boost of energy.
Be Giants”
41. ____ Zeppelin ment will be tou ted 62. for Audition a long time. tape
17. North-Pole SCORPIO helper 43. Affirmative vote DOWN
You’re in a rut at work and could do with
PISCES
18. Aromatic a change. It’s herb just a matter of 44. ma king Record-album
a
One of your children 1. Snooty could slow you person
down
20. Strangely
plan and taking steps to redirect material
your career
path. Being bold will have a po sitive
this week, and you’ll
2.
have
Volcano’s
to rush to get to
effect on you and your long­term goals.
SAGITTARIUS
It’s always easier to get along with people
if you don’t have a personal relationship.
One of your children will give you
a hard time about the way you discipline.
If you’re tactful, you can manage
to resolve a major conflict.
CAPRICORN
There are many details to consider this
week. At work, you’ll be in charge of an
event that brings together a lot of people,
and communication may not be easy.
Fortuna tely, your patience will pay off.
AQUARIUS
Your leadership skills will be needed at
the office or elsewhere. You might have
to over come your fear or a lack of selfconfidence.
Afterward, you’ll be considered
a hero, or at least your accomplishment
will be tou ted for a long time.
PISCES
One of your children could slow you down
this week, and you’ll have to rush to get to
an appointment on time. It might be the
right moment to sell your home; there’s
too much empty space now that your children
are living on their own.
GEMINI
A lot of things are happening at once,
but you might still feel like things aren’t
mo ving fast enough. You’ll have some
great ideas to suggest, which will impress
your significant other.
CANCER
Your health might hold you back a bit.
SCORPIO
How ever, this situation gives you an opportunity
You’re in a rut at work and could do with
to pause and get a better per­
a change. It’s just a matter of ma king a
spective on your personal and professional
plan and taking steps to redirect your ca­
future. THE Spi rituality LUCKY will become SIGNS a big THIS WEEK: reer path. LEO, Being VIRGO bold will , have AND a po LIBRA sitive
part of your life.
effect on you and your long­term goals.
LEO
Stress is ever­present, but it’s also a source
of energy that can help you be more efficient.
It’s when you find yourself up
against a wall that you can work miracles.
You’ll experience love at first sight,
which may leave you confused if you’re
not single.
VIRGO
At work, you’ll be handed new responsibilities
that don’t match your skillset.
Fortuna tely, taking on this challenge will
be what gets you promoted. It’ll also help
you get approval for a new and exciting
project.
LIBRA
You’ll be inspired to go back to school
and get a degree. With this new knowledge,
you’ll be able to build a better future.
A romantic getaway could give your
relationship a boost of energy.
SCORPIO
You’re in a rut at work and could do with
a change. It’s just a matter of ma king a
plan and taking steps to redirect your career
path. Being bold will have a po sitive
effect on you and your long­term goals.
an appointment on time. It might be the
right moment to sell your home; there’s
too much empty space now that your children
are living on their own.
project.
LIBRA
You’ll be inspired to go back to school 11
and get a degree. With this new knowledge,
you’ll be able to build a better future.
A romantic getaway could give your
relationship a boost of energy.
SAGITTARIUS
It’s always easier to get along with people
if you don’t have a personal relationship.
One of your children will give you
a hard time about the way you discipline.
If you’re tactful, you can manage
to resolve a major conflict.
CAPRICORN
There are many details to consider this
week. At work, you’ll be in charge of an
event that brings together a lot of people,
and communication may not be easy.
Fortuna tely, your patience will pay off.
AQUARIUS
Your leadership skills will be needed at
the office or elsewhere. You might have
to over come your fear or a lack of selfconfidence.
Afterward, you’ll be considered
a hero, or at least your accomplishment
will be tou ted for a long time.
PISCES
One of your children could slow you down
this week, and you’ll have to rush to get to
an appointment on time. It might be the
right moment to sell your home; there’s
too much empty space now that your children
are living on their own.
output
3. Small bills
4. Church district
5. Club
6. Powdery residue
7. “Malcolm X”
director
8. Municipal official
9. Was in the red
10. Lounge around
11. Resist openly
19. Succotash bean
21. Snow White’s pal
23. Basted
24. Shuttle boat
25. Cow chow
26. Time period
27. “____ Stoops
to Conquer”
28. Dashed
30. Exclamation
31. Beverage
32. Pea’s envelope
35. Food plan
38. Fabric layer
40. Brought to pass
42. Upper crust
44. Travel document
45. Pumping ____
46. Certain
amphibian
48. Margarita
ingredient
49. Skinny
50. Low female
voice
53. Endeavor
54. Stage signal
55. That woman
sudoku ANSWER IN CLASSIFIED SECTION