EmpoWord - A Student-Centered Anthology & Handbook for College Writers, 2018a

Part One: Description, Narration, and Reflection 137
“We got in another argument this morning, and she sent me a message saying
she didn’t want to be in pain anymore. She told me to tell you girls she’s sorry. I’m so
sorry.” I’d never seen my dad cry before; I didn’t know he could. I didn’t know his tears
would stream like gushing water from a broken dam. He looked lost, incapable of
understanding why she was doing what she was doing. I looked from my dad to my
sister to my hands. One hand remained enveloped by my dad’s gentle palm. At this
point in life, I had not yet learned to be gentle with myself, or others. I cut off my dad’s
hypnotic, silent cry for connection.
“She’s crazy!” I let go of my dad’s hand, flipped it back to him. I reclined in the
chair, retracting from the situation entirely. I crossed my legs, then my arms. I turned my
head away, toward the glass windows, and (mentally) left.
***
“Crazy” is a term devised to dismiss people.
My mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 50 years old.
Teacher Takeaways
“This essay makes excellent use of repetition as a narrative strategy. Throughout the essay, terms and
phrases are repeated, generally with slight alterations, drawing the reader’s attention to the moment in
question and recontextualizing the information being conveyed. This strategy is especially powerful when
used to disclose the separate diagnoses of bipolar disorder, which is central to the narrative. I also appreciate
the use of dialogue, though it mostly serves an expository function here. In itself that’s effective, but this
narrative would be strengthened if that dialogue could serve to make some of the characters, especially the
mother, more rounded.”
– Professor Dunham