9781250209153

I can’t remember the last time I drove into Candlehawk. Probably over the
summer, when Tally wanted to try that pop-up restaurant that sold
overpriced ramen. I cruise down their pristine streets, knowing my handme-down
Jetta looks out of place. The township is beautifully decorated for
the holidays with string lights across the square and silver wreaths on the
lampposts. It’s elegant, tasteful, picture-perfect. The exact opposite of the
street in Grandma Earl where Irene took me to see the lights.
I’m not sure where to park when I drive into the high school lot.
Everything seems so formal and structured. There’s a security guard driving
around on a golf cart, but he doesn’t say anything when I park in a random
space near the front. The marquee is almost a twin of ours, except the
message reads WINTER RESPITE—PLEASE ENJOY. I have a sudden, mischievous
urge to mess with it, but I don’t want the security guard to catch me. It’s not
why I’m here, anyway.
The basketball game has already started by the time I get inside. I
planned it that way. I don’t want Tally to notice me.
The stands are packed with Candlehawk fans. It’s more crowded than I
expected, even on New Year’s Eve. I sneak up the side of the bleachers,
past a well-groomed family and a college guy with a handlebar mustache.
No one bats an eye at me, which is exactly what I want. For the first time in
months, I have no role to play. I am free to sit here and simply watch the
girl I used to love. I’m not sure this is what Danielle had in mind when she
told me to do whatever it takes to cut the cord, but this is what I need, so it’s
what I’m doing.
Tally’s hair is parted in twin braids. I remember a morning at her house,
sitting on her bed in our pajamas, telling funny stories while her fingers
instinctively braided her curls. Those were my favorite moments with her:
When I had glimpses into the soft, simple, private Tally who wasn’t aware
of her habits and quirks. The version of her that could just be.
She’s playing well today. Not the best I’ve seen her do, but still a strong
performance. She sinks a few shots and snags a couple of rebounds. She
looks completely at home, and I remember, with a bittersweet pang, that she
is.