9781250209153

I have a sudden, strange sensation that I’m outside my own body. I’ve
had nothing to drink, but my brain feels foggy and detached. How did I get
to this place, sitting on the leather couch of this elaborate mansion in
Candlehawk, actively trying to hurt the girl I loved and sacrificing my own
integrity in the process?
“Tally … I should go. I don’t belong here.”
Tally shakes her head. Her drink sloshes onto the carpet. “No, Scottie,
please stay. You’re the only person I care about.”
“No, listen, we should leave. This party isn’t a good place for you.” I
give her hand a small tug, but she doesn’t move.
Tally sniffles. She’s legitimately crying now. “Do you still love me?”
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
“Please, Scottie?” she begs, her drunken eyes on mine. And then, before
I can react, she pushes into me and kisses me. Hard.
At first I’m frozen. Then my body wakes up. I’ve fantasized about this
moment a million times. One last chance. One last kiss. She tastes like
liquor, but her lips are warm and familiar beneath mine. I press back against
them. She opens her mouth and brushes her tongue against mine.
No. Stop. This isn’t what you want anymore.
“Tally, I can’t,” I say, pushing her away. I wipe my mouth with a
shaking hand. What the hell am I doing? Why am I still sitting here? I’m
desperate to go home, but I can’t leave her. Not when she’s this drunk. Not
when she’s this alone.
“Come on, Tal,” I say, pulling her off the couch.
Downstairs, everything is rowdier than it was before, louder and less
controlled. In the shadowy parlor, a group of people is bent over a coffee
table, no doubt snorting something. In the main room, some guy is pissing
on the vine wall as his friends laugh like hyenas.
I help Tally into her coat, guide her out the back door, and settle her in
my car. She falls asleep immediately, and I feel a bittersweet pang when I
glance at her in the passenger seat, the way I’ve done a million times
before. I drive her home and nudge her awake on the street outside her
house. She blinks awake, bleary-eyed and confused. She doesn’t hug me;
she merely nods and clambers out of my car.