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it’s a relief to finally explain myself to Gunther and Kevin. I confess the
whole truth about the last few months, even though I’m still ashamed. I’ve
told this story so many times now, but it doesn’t get any easier. “I’m sorry
for lying to you,” I say, forcing myself to keep eye contact. “I’m sorry for
getting so caught up in my ex. I feel like it took away from our senior year
experience.” I dab at my eyes. Danielle passes me a napkin from the glove
compartment. “You guys are my best friends. I wanna make the most of our
last semester.”
Kevin leans forward and threads his fingers together. “None of us is
perfect, Scottie. Well … except Danielle.” He grins earnestly; she narrows
her eyes playfully. “Thanks for telling us the truth. I’m sorry you were
hurting so bad. I love you and I want you to be happy.”
“Yeah, what he said,” Gunther chimes in. “Besides, I got to know
Honey-Belle through this whole thing, so how can I be mad?”
Danielle swats at him, and the laughter that follows is exactly what I
need.
The four of us spend every Saturday at the Chuck Munny. On the night
we plan to see Love & Basketball, Gunther brings Honey-Belle along and
kisses her in the concession line. I turn to Danielle and Kevin to exchange
glances, but they’re not paying attention; they’re laughing at something on
Kevin’s phone. When Danielle reaches forward to hit his arm with a
flirtatious little punch, Kevin’s eyes light up. I pretend not to notice when
he insists on buying Danielle’s root beer. I’m okay with being a fifth wheel
tonight.
When we’re off from school in honor of MLK Day, I sit cross-legged on
my bedroom floor and read every letter Tally ever gave me. Some of them
make me cry. I let the tears come and tell myself it’s okay that my heart is
hurting. Once I’ve gone through them all, Thora and Daphne help me burn
them in the backyard. I breathe in, breathe out, and watch the sparks of
them drift away.
Spring sports begin near the end of January, because apparently January
qualifies as spring. Each evening as I leave practice, I watch the soccer girls