9780008390662

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“Ahem.” Snickers makes a little throat-clearing noise. “I’ve kept this lockedinside me all this time, but now, facing the end, I feel the need to unburdenmyself.”“Really, Snick,” I say quickly, “there’s no need for that.”“The thing is”—Snickers pauses for dramatic effect—“I love you, Bob. Ialways have. I love the way your cute little tail gets all curled between yourlegs when you’re embarrassed. I love the way you hum to yourself when youchew your kibble. I love the way you drool when you take a nap. I love—”“I think I’m gettin’ the picture, Snick. Thanks. That’s awfully nice of you tosay.”“And?” Snickers says.Boss can’t hide her amusement. “Go ahead, Bob,” she whispers. “What can ithurt? We’re all gonna die, anyway.”“Bobbo?” Snickers calls.“Um, yeah. Yeah, sure. I, uh, think you’re pretty swell, too, Snick.”“And what is it that you love about me?”I close my eyes. Take a deep breath. “Well, um, those pink boots of yours,those are cool.”“And?”I swear I’m trying, but I’m totally drawing a blank. In fairness, the water’s upto my belly and my teeth are chattering so loud I can’t hear myself think.“And, uh . . . ,” I begin.“Oh, c’mon, how hard is it?” yells the bunny, who’s perched on a pile of wettimothy hay. “She’s a looker and she’s smart and she’s way too good for thelikes of you. Try that, Romeo.”
“You’re a looker and you’re smart and you’re way too good for the likes ofme,” I repeat.Snickers lets out a contented sigh.“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Boss asks.I groan. “Sis, you have no idea.”
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Dedicationfor my family:human, feli
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ContentsCoverTitle PageDedicationEp
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a very handsome dogthe beginningtor
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gonefirst aidthe truthforeverrescue
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bed boogie: circular “dance” pe
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One
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and while i’m at it . . .I may or
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numero unoThere’s an old saying a
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Once I had things just so, I lay do
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the amazing history of man’s best
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in my opinionThat dog was a ninny.A
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no oneThat’s what being man’s b
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in safety.Still, I understood, in m
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aloneThe truck happened without war
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the owlDarkness had fallen when it
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more luckMaybe it was my puppy fat,
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exit 8I finally came to a small roa
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It’s a solid solution.But it’s
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Two
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And then I heard it.A faint bark.Th
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on the poetry of stinkOf course, no
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the newsSometimes when Julia and I
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sparkly rain hat, and teensy pink b
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“Does.”“Does.”“Doesn’t
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spoiledI know Nutwit has a point.I
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blanket, the kind where you can bed
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cricket bullyWhen Julia returns fro
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She pulled Julia aside. “He’s a
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clickThat’s when they started cli
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full wag“Are you ready to head ov
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good words, bad wordsI’ve never m
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but she went back to work and she
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When I walk Julia—well, okay, I s
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drooliusI knew this guy, back when
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forgivenessSeems like forgiving hum
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puppy eyesIt’s midmorning, still
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mr. oogHere’s how I figure puppy
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changeThe park’s pretty big. Lots
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kimuThere’s a gray wolf at the pa
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I looked at him and, for the first
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If they caught any other dog there,
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Ivan, being Ivan, is a mellow kinda
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giftOnce I’m in my spot, I don’
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and Ruby, and Stella, too.”Ivan g
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tiny but toughIvan always seems lik
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not talkingOften when I’m with Iv
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“Take a small creature like Eek,
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ruby’s familyLittle Ruby seems mu
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“Hmm. You got me, Ruby. I’m tot
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Kinyani glares at me.She glares at
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a very handsome dog“Hi, Aunt Kiny
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Julia appears, her backpack at the
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“Bob!” Julia calls. “Come on!
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I’m flying.no way
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landingIt’s over.I land—umph—
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bad dogAnd this is why I’m a Bad
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stretchSlowly, with some difficulty
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For the record, small stray boards
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soundsThe eerie quiet doesn’t las
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surveying the damageI pick my way p
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baby slothI say goodbye to the peng
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Takes a few minutes, but I find her
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To my left, water gushes from a pat
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mutt versus wolfI wait for him to l
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gorilla worldI move on. I have to f
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help us!The stone wall separating G
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kudzooI pick my way through the deb
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trying to find a lost toy in a swim
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“Okay,” Akello says, with a nod
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“Can I go with Bob?” Ruby asks
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mouths to me.“Don’t thank me,
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xenaAnother dog races over, a tough
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dragonMore police cars and ambulanc
Page 156 and 157: An older gentleman holding a blue u
Page 158 and 159: looseA new police officer joins us.
Page 160 and 161: cprThe wind dies down to a whisper,
Page 162 and 163: noNo movement, nothing.But after a
Page 164 and 165: gorilla ghostIvan emerges from a cl
Page 166 and 167: wolf on the runI scramble over to I
Page 168 and 169: shots firedSeveral officers raise t
Page 170 and 171: a situationOfficer Williams climbs
Page 172 and 173: Some barks you never forget.never
Page 174 and 175: a split secondI want to tell Ivan a
Page 177 and 178: Three
Page 179 and 180: what ifAt first, I didn’t admit i
Page 181 and 182: relievedAnd what did I do, when I h
Page 183 and 184: the windEvery day I went looking fo
Page 185 and 186: my paddlesAs I run from the park, I
Page 187 and 188: I’m inside the bow-wow big house.
Page 189 and 190: pauses in the doorway. “I thought
Page 191 and 192: aliveThunder claps. Shutters fly. W
Page 193 and 194: toughBoss isn’t anything like I r
Page 195 and 196: Something crashes into the front of
Page 197 and 198: “When someone does something hurt
Page 199 and 200: The officer sighs. “You don’t h
Page 201 and 202: preparing for the worstThe wind slo
Page 203 and 204: a questionWe do all we can do. Whic
Page 205: romeoBefore I can say anything more
Page 209 and 210: “Say it,” I command.“Fine. Wh
Page 211 and 212: giant monkey and sea monsterThe scr
Page 213 and 214: to safetyOne thing about being a si
Page 215 and 216: Boss. “Then that means you’re m
Page 217 and 218: yay“We’ll go,” Ivan says.“Y
Page 219 and 220: “We can’t exactly shoot a goril
Page 221 and 222: lightning and fireworksIt isn’t f
Page 224 and 225: another bridgeThe creek is filled w
Page 226 and 227: heroI will not lie. I am not thinki
Page 228 and 229: not a movieSo in a movie, I’d lan
Page 230 and 231: do not let goThe water’s cold, so
Page 232 and 233: kimu againKimu has me.He drops me t
Page 234 and 235: howI don’t know how I do it.If I
Page 236 and 237: first aidRowdy still isn’t moving
Page 238 and 239: foreverThe eye of the hurricane pas
Page 240 and 241: Four
Page 242 and 243: From what we can tell, Boss never w
Page 244 and 245: working on itOn the way home, we pa
Page 246 and 247: “Mack and his wife just moved bac
Page 248: a visitorThis evening is like lots
Page 251 and 252: But through it all, Bob never loses
Page 253 and 254: early and avid supporters of the bo
Page 255 and 256: Discover great authors, exclusive o
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CopyrightTHE ONE AND ONLY BOB. Text
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www.harpercollins.co.ukUnited State
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