9780008390662

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“Mack and his wife just moved back in,” Julia says. “They called thisafternoon and said Snickers was dying for a walk.”I ease back a little farther under the couch. Can Snickers see me? Maybe not.But she can most definitely smell me.For once I regret my pungent aroma.Snickers darts across the living room straight to the couch, pulling Julia alongfor the ride.“Snickers!” Julia exclaims. “Slow down, girl!” She kneels. “Bob, are youhiding under there?”I move an inch, exposing my snout.Snickers goes insane. She yanks free of her tug-of-war string. For a moment,she pauses to do a polite nose tap with Rowdy. Then she lets loose withzoomies and yips and howls of joy.“Bob,” Julia says, “come on out and say hi.”I pretend not to hear her. Which isn’t a big stretch, since Snickers is barkinglike a maniac.“Robert,” says Julia.Fine. I belly-crawl out until I’m exposed.Snickers is ecstatic. She showers me with licks and nips and nudges andleaps. “Bob,” she croons, “how I’ve missed you!”I cover my head with my paws, but there’s no escaping her adoration.“There’s a reason we survived, Bob,” she says, her fuzzy tail in high gear.“The fates want our love to blossom.”
“Is this your girlfriend, Uncle Bob?” Rowdy inquires.“Girlfriend today,” Snickers responds in a giddy voice. “But who knows whattomorrow may bring? Perhaps you should start calling me Aunt Snickers.”I am relieved beyond measure when Julia finally pulls Snickers, with greateffort, out the door. I try to ignore Nutwit’s teasing. I try to tolerate Rowdy’sstifled laughter.But when Minnie starts chanting “Bob and Snickers!” followed by Moo’s“sitting in a tree!” I’ve had enough.I head for my doggie door, ignoring the popcorning guinea pigs, and try tolocate my dignity.
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Dedicationfor my family:human, feli
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ContentsCoverTitle PageDedicationEp
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a very handsome dogthe beginningtor
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gonefirst aidthe truthforeverrescue
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bed boogie: circular “dance” pe
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One
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and while i’m at it . . .I may or
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numero unoThere’s an old saying a
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Once I had things just so, I lay do
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the amazing history of man’s best
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in my opinionThat dog was a ninny.A
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no oneThat’s what being man’s b
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in safety.Still, I understood, in m
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aloneThe truck happened without war
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the owlDarkness had fallen when it
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more luckMaybe it was my puppy fat,
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exit 8I finally came to a small roa
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It’s a solid solution.But it’s
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Two
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And then I heard it.A faint bark.Th
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on the poetry of stinkOf course, no
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the newsSometimes when Julia and I
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sparkly rain hat, and teensy pink b
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“Does.”“Does.”“Doesn’t
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spoiledI know Nutwit has a point.I
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blanket, the kind where you can bed
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cricket bullyWhen Julia returns fro
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She pulled Julia aside. “He’s a
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clickThat’s when they started cli
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full wag“Are you ready to head ov
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good words, bad wordsI’ve never m
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but she went back to work and she
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When I walk Julia—well, okay, I s
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drooliusI knew this guy, back when
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forgivenessSeems like forgiving hum
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puppy eyesIt’s midmorning, still
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mr. oogHere’s how I figure puppy
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changeThe park’s pretty big. Lots
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kimuThere’s a gray wolf at the pa
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I looked at him and, for the first
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If they caught any other dog there,
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Ivan, being Ivan, is a mellow kinda
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giftOnce I’m in my spot, I don’
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and Ruby, and Stella, too.”Ivan g
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tiny but toughIvan always seems lik
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not talkingOften when I’m with Iv
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“Take a small creature like Eek,
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ruby’s familyLittle Ruby seems mu
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“Hmm. You got me, Ruby. I’m tot
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Kinyani glares at me.She glares at
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a very handsome dog“Hi, Aunt Kiny
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Julia appears, her backpack at the
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“Bob!” Julia calls. “Come on!
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I’m flying.no way
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landingIt’s over.I land—umph—
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bad dogAnd this is why I’m a Bad
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stretchSlowly, with some difficulty
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For the record, small stray boards
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soundsThe eerie quiet doesn’t las
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surveying the damageI pick my way p
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baby slothI say goodbye to the peng
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Takes a few minutes, but I find her
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To my left, water gushes from a pat
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mutt versus wolfI wait for him to l
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gorilla worldI move on. I have to f
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help us!The stone wall separating G
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kudzooI pick my way through the deb
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trying to find a lost toy in a swim
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“Okay,” Akello says, with a nod
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“Can I go with Bob?” Ruby asks
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mouths to me.“Don’t thank me,
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xenaAnother dog races over, a tough
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dragonMore police cars and ambulanc
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An older gentleman holding a blue u
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looseA new police officer joins us.
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cprThe wind dies down to a whisper,
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noNo movement, nothing.But after a
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gorilla ghostIvan emerges from a cl
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wolf on the runI scramble over to I
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shots firedSeveral officers raise t
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a situationOfficer Williams climbs
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Some barks you never forget.never
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a split secondI want to tell Ivan a
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Three
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what ifAt first, I didn’t admit i
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relievedAnd what did I do, when I h
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the windEvery day I went looking fo
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my paddlesAs I run from the park, I
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I’m inside the bow-wow big house.
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pauses in the doorway. “I thought
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aliveThunder claps. Shutters fly. W
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toughBoss isn’t anything like I r
Page 195 and 196: Something crashes into the front of
Page 197 and 198: “When someone does something hurt
Page 199 and 200: The officer sighs. “You don’t h
Page 201 and 202: preparing for the worstThe wind slo
Page 203 and 204: a questionWe do all we can do. Whic
Page 205 and 206: romeoBefore I can say anything more
Page 207 and 208: “You’re a looker and you’re s
Page 209 and 210: “Say it,” I command.“Fine. Wh
Page 211 and 212: giant monkey and sea monsterThe scr
Page 213 and 214: to safetyOne thing about being a si
Page 215 and 216: Boss. “Then that means you’re m
Page 217 and 218: yay“We’ll go,” Ivan says.“Y
Page 219 and 220: “We can’t exactly shoot a goril
Page 221 and 222: lightning and fireworksIt isn’t f
Page 224 and 225: another bridgeThe creek is filled w
Page 226 and 227: heroI will not lie. I am not thinki
Page 228 and 229: not a movieSo in a movie, I’d lan
Page 230 and 231: do not let goThe water’s cold, so
Page 232 and 233: kimu againKimu has me.He drops me t
Page 234 and 235: howI don’t know how I do it.If I
Page 236 and 237: first aidRowdy still isn’t moving
Page 238 and 239: foreverThe eye of the hurricane pas
Page 240 and 241: Four
Page 242 and 243: From what we can tell, Boss never w
Page 244 and 245: working on itOn the way home, we pa
Page 248: a visitorThis evening is like lots
Page 251 and 252: But through it all, Bob never loses
Page 253 and 254: early and avid supporters of the bo
Page 255 and 256: Discover great authors, exclusive o
Page 260 and 261: CopyrightTHE ONE AND ONLY BOB. Text
Page 262: www.harpercollins.co.ukUnited State
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