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Jim Reiter
Rosetown-Elrose
306 882-4105
Scott Moe
Rosthern-Shellbrook
306-747-3422
Nadine Wilson
Saskatchewan Rivers
888-763-0615
Corey Tochor
Saskatoon Eastview
306-384-2011
Jennifer Campeau
Saskatoon Fairview
306-974-4125
Rob Norris
Saskatoon Greystone
306-933-7852
Roger Parent
Saskatoon Meewasin
306-652-4607
Gordon Wyant
Saskatoon Northwest
306-934-2847
Ken Cheveldayoff
Saskatoon Silver Springs
306-651-7100
Don Morgan
Saskatoon Southeast
306-955-4755
Paul Merriman
Saskatoon Sutherland
306-244-5623
Herb Cox
The Battlefords
306-445-5195
Lyle Stewart
Thunder Creek
306-693-3229
Dustin Duncan
Weyburn-Big Muddy
306-842-4810
Yogi Huyghebaert
Wood River
306-266-2100 306-642-4744
Greg Ottenbreit
Yorkton
306-783-7275
FARM LIVING
THE MORE
THINGS CHANGE …
MICHAEL GILLGANNON
The reverse life cycle was invented
by comedian George
Carlin. The late George Carlin.
The premise is that life is unfair (we
all know that). And life is tough,
right?
So why does it have to end with
death? Is death supposed to be some
kind of bonus?
It would be better if we started out
dead, then moved into an old folks’
home where we could eat canned
peaches for a couple of years and
THE WESTERN PRODUCER | WWW.PRODUCER.COM | DECEMBER 13, 2012
HUMOUR | FROM END TO BEGINNING
An about turn on the good old days
talk incessantly about the good old
days that haven’t even happened yet.
Then after we get kicked out of the
home for being too young, we get a
job, or several jobs, and cop a gold
watch after 30 or 40 years.
Eventually, when we’re actually
young enough to enjoy retirement,
we do drugs, have keg parties and
ride around town with nothing to do
and lots of time to not do it in.
After a few years of this, we become
a kid. The prime directive of a kid is to
mess around and not have any
responsibilities beyond making sure
we don’t set the cat on fire.
After kid comes baby, and that
means being waited on hand and
foot.
Only drawback — it’s back to the
canned peaches — and worse. Then
we get to float around in a warm dark
place for nine months listening to the
beat of a jungle drum a.k.a. heartbeat.
May the peace and joy be with you
through the coming year.
From the Progressive Progressive Conservative
Conservative
Party of Saskatchewan
Saskatchewan
Rick Swenson, Leader
27
After that, it’s lights out — a pretty
good payoff for all that time
spent working for a living way back
when.
Some might spot a connection
between our last days on earth and
our early days of babyhood. The
main difference is the address.
As babies, we live at 234 Main
Street or 189 Pinehouse Road. When
we are geezers, our keepers like to
put us in quaint sounding places
that include words like “downs,” as in
“Royal Oak Downs,” and “view,” as in
“Shady View.”
Unfortunately, the view of those
canned peaches is seldom shady
and more often overly fluorescent.
Not having personally experienced
Shady View or Royal Oak
Downs, I am loathe to condemn
them outright, but since most of my
life experience revolves around television,
it’s clear that Livia Soprano
(remember The Sopranos?) was
deeply suspicious of her particular
Shady View.
And deeply suspicious of her son
Tony for putting her there. So much
so that she tried to get Junior Soprano
to facilitate Tony’s sleeping with
the fishes.
And Livia’s Shady View (actually
Green Grove) was the priciest retirement
home in New Jersey.
At any rate, I don’t think Royal
Oak Grove Shady Downs type places
like their guests carting in 75-pound
subwoofers, which I am afraid I
would have to stipulate as an entitlement.
And two cats, of course.
Michael Gillgannon is the former news editor
of The Western Producer and managing
editor of Western People. Contact: humour@
producer.com
May God fill your
Christmas and every day
with His tidings of
comfort and joy.
Garry Breitkreuz, M.P.
Yorkton-Melville
www.garrybreitkreuz.com