AUGUST 2018

Hope, healing, and happiness
How the Surviving Divorce support group fills a need in the Chaldean community.
BY MONIQUE MANSOUR
The need for healing in
the Chaldean community
prompted the inception of
the Eastern Catholic Re-Evangelization
Center’s newest divorce ministry.
In particular, it was evident there
was an immense amount of stigma
attached to the “D” word: divorce.
Divorce is a difficult experience for
any person to endure, but it can be
especially hard in the Chaldean
community.
“I think the reason divorce is especially
stigmatized in the Chaldean
community is because of the shame
and the fear that we’ll be judged for
it,” explained Iklas Bahoura-Bashi.
“However, whatever we keep in the
dark is going to continue to have
power over us, so if you speak your
truth in a support group, you can
bring that shame out into the light
and it no longer has power over you.
Shame is a powerful emotion that
impacts and influences the way we
behave and it shapes the way we relate
to others.”
Bahoura-Bashi has a background
in counseling, having received her
graduate degree from the University
of Detroit Mercy. She worked in
community mental health for many
years, spending a large portion of
her time with Chaldeans who fled
Iraq from the Gulf War in the mid-
1990s. Later, she opened up a private
practice, but soon felt that the Lord
was calling upon her to speak to the
masses instead of individuals in a
one-on-one setting.
Since closing her practice in
2010, she has spoken at various
schools and community organizations,
has written articles related to
psychological and spiritual issues,
and received her certification in
Christian Life Coaching. Her passion
is combining psychology with
her Catholic faith.
Bahoura-Bashi drew upon her
background, and along with the help
of Patrice Abona, who has been the
Executive Director of the Eastern
Catholic Re-Evangelization Center
(ECRC) for four years, but served as
a volunteer for 10 years, developed a
plan to create a support group, which
is held at ECRC in West Bloomfield.
The support group, titled Surviving
Divorce: Hope and Healing for the
Catholic Family, is inspired by a book
of the same name, published by Ascension
Press and written by Rose Sweet.
“Our community places a certain
value on being married and having
kids. It’s seen as a sort of status
to achieve. So, once this status is no
longer applicable to a person, they
are seen as less than in the community.
It’s really very sad because no
one knows the circumstances surrounding
the situation,” said Abona.
“ECRC is always trying to fill needs
in the community to help bring people
closer to Jesus and His Church.
When people go through divorce,
they may feel that they are not welcome
in the church. We wanted to
start this ministry to dispel that false
notion, but more importantly to help
people heal from divorce.” Abona
has been involved with ECRC on
a volunteer basis before she began
serving as Executive Director for
more than ten years.
According to ECRC’s website,
the mission of the organization is to,
“Spread and strengthen the faith by
providing Christ-centered programs
for all ages. Our activities are devoted
to leading people to an intimate
encounter with our Lord through the
Eucharist and the Scripture.”
The Surviving Divorce support
group held its first session at ECRC
on Thursday, July 12. It will last for
thirteen weeks, until October 4. The
hope is to have the program be offered
two times a year. Sessions always begin
with prayer and hospitality. Then,
a twenty-minute video related to a
particular theme attached to divorce
is watched and then discussed and
processed. Sessions end with a focus
on how to help families heal from
divorce, with practical tools attendees
can utilize to help their children
through the process.
“It’s important to us that our attendees
know that Iklas and I take
confidentiality very seriously. We
want people know this is a safe place
to come to and look forward to, a
space that is free of judgment,” said
Abona.
“Many people ask me about the
annulment process, and I want others
to know that the Church has
been trying to streamline the process,”
explained Bahoura-Bashi. “Receiving
the annulment gives people
the perfect peace that God wants
them to have. It also provides closure,
is liberating, and gives people
the strength and the courage to put
the divorce behind them so that they
may move forward.”
Both Abona and Bahoura-Bashi
have been so inspired by the support
they’ve received from the clergy in regards
to the group. “We’ve personally
contacted the Chaldean Diocese and
they are all very aware of the need in
our community. They’ve been incredibly
supportive, which has been more
than wonderful,” said Abona.
“The outpouring of love and support
from the priests has been nourishing,”
said Bahoura-Bashi. “There’s
a need for an increase in trust in our
community in general and this group
is taking a huge step to help achieve
that.”
Those interested in learning more
about the Surviving Divorce support
group can visit https://www.ecrc.us/
surviving-divorce/
26 CHALDEAN NEWS AUGUST 2018