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ANNUAL WEDDING GUIDE couples’ classes Learning how to be married BY WEAM NAMOU More than four hundred Chaldean weddings are performed each year. Marriage is honored and affirmed among Christians and throughout the Bible. However, while most Christians seek to uphold the seriousness of wedding vows, the great changes in traditional roles of men and women along with the increase and acceptance of divorce in Western culture, has made it difficult for some couples to save their marriage. In order to help new couples start off in the right direction, the church has, for more than a decade, offered pre-marriage classes. It was about two years ago when the classes at Mother of God Church were changed to suit the needs of a new generation and current circumstances. “My husband and I attended the old program and that was really the motivation for us wanting to change the program,” said Kristen Ayar, who along with others was involved in this process. “It wasn’t what it should or could be for our community. The new classes are more practical.” Ayar and her husband Arvin, married for 4 ½ years, are presenters at the new classes which are taught by couples and were developed through research and surveys. The classes incorporate six topics over a six hour period. The topics include: Roles and Backgrounds, which raises questions such as who are you as an individual and what is your background? What do you expect of the roles of a husband, wife, and parent? “Here, we talk about our parents’ different relationships and how that shaped and molded us,” said Ayar. “Your background is carried into your relationship.” We talk about our parents’ different relationships and how that shaped and molded us.” – KRISTEN AYAR Communication, which teaches how to communicate effectively with your spouse and resolve conflicts in a calm and loving way. “Conflict is inevitable in a marriage,” said Fr. Pierre Konja, administrator for Mother of God. “But how you solve it is crucial to healing and forming a strong marriage.” Finances, which is taught by a couple who have seven kids and who give advice through example as they share their own life experience in dealing with money and children and the role that God, mercy, and love plays in this area of their life. Intimacy, sex, and family planning. “This topic is especially important in a sexually broken world where promiscuity and pornography are glorified,” said Fr. Pierre. Other topics that are covered include abuse and in-laws and, oftentimes, the topics overlap. However, a class or program alone will not safeguard a healthy marriage, because there is no perfect program that exists anywhere. Ultimately, it’s the couple’s desire that will make or break their wedding vows. “Couples have to have the desire to be sacrificial and reflect the love of God in their marriage, to be strong through difficulties and wise and mature about whom to enter marriage with,” said Fr. Pierre. Since marriage and family is the foundation of the church, of Christianity, efforts have also been made to strengthen already married couples. The Eastern Catholic Re-Evangelization Center (ECRC) provides a marriage program called The Choice Wine: 7 Steps to a Superabundant Marriage. Whether a couple is engaged or has been married for 50 years, this 9-weeks program is intended to teach couples how to “divorce-proof their marriages.” Steve Bollman, founder of this program, is a Catholic minister. With an educational background in Chemical Engineering, he integrates teachings of faith with the findings of modern science. The program’s seven simple steps, he says, will “Stretch your mind through science. It will test your faith, and it will challenge you to live your high calling.” Ayar and her husband also participate in The Choice Wine program and she says that this has strengthened their marriage. “It was like date-night with my husband and other couples who want their relationships to grow with God and each other,” she said. This program has been held at Mother of God Church and St. Thomas Church, but ECRC is trying to make it available to other parishes so everyone can enjoy it. A couple’s retreat, which ECRC hosted previously at Camp Chaldean, is something they plan to repeat in the near future. “Couples retreats are not to fix anything necessarily, but to strengthen a couple’s relationship,” said Fr. Pierre. There are pre-marriage classes that are required by the Diocese to attend before a couple marries and there are other marriage classes available, but not obligatory. While the marriage classes are highly encouraged by the community, and there is a strong desire for them, Fr. Pierre says that realistically most people are too busy to commit to them. “We get caught up with finances and the kids and the marriage itself becomes taken for granted,” he said. “Be intentional about your marriage. Go out on date nights once a week, on a vacation by yourself. Seek marriage counseling even if your marriage is fine – do it just to make your marriage better. Marriage is work. Anything worth having is difficult.” The message that Steve Bollman tells people is that “Jesus does not want your marriage to be enough. He wants it to be superabundant.” JOIN OUR GROWING TEAM. The Chaldean News is looking for motivated candidates to fill full-time salaried sales positions. Qualified candidates should email a resume to info@chaldeannews.com. 34 CHALDEAN NEWS FEBRUARY 2017
REVIEW YOUR TAX ASSESSMENTS REDUCE YOUR PROPERTY TAXES Commercial Industrial Residential SAVE MONEY! Shawn G. Jappaya Attorney Counselor CPA OTHER AREAS OF PRACTICE... Wills and Trusts Real Estate Law Michigan Tax Disputes Customs Seizures Named as a Top Lawyer by: Main: 248.626.6800 Fax: 248.626.6805 shawn@jappayalaw.com 7125 Orchard Lake Road, Suite 301 West Bloomfield, MI 48322 J appaya Law, PLC Notice: Prevent Home Foreclosure. The Wayne County Treasurer’s Office 2017 show cause hearings are scheduled this January for all Wayne County property owners who have been notified of a pending foreclosure. If you have received a show cause notice but are enrolled in a payment plan and have missed two or less payments, are current on your taxes, and will have your 2016 taxes paid by March 1, 2017, you do not have to attend. For all others notified, you should plan to attend on the date and time provided in your notice. If you need more information, call 313-224-5990. The show cause hearings will be held at the Wayne County Treasurer's Office, 8th Floor, at 400 Monroe in downtown Detroit. The Wayne County Treasurer’s Office 2017 show cause hearings will be held January 10, 11, 12, 17, 18, 19, 24 and 25. For more information, call 313-224-5990 or email us at info@waynecounty.com Eric R. Sabree Wayne County Treasurer www.treasurer.waynecounty.com (313) 224-5950 FEBRUARY 2017 CHALDEAN NEWS 35
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