MUSICAL CHAIRS! - Besthostingplanever.com

(1) The Fr. Moses Coady Memorial Vibrator:
The fiery little devil allows you to harness
all of your own potential. It comes with
balls. Very popular in rural communities where
users are experiencing a movement like never
before!
(2) The Tickle Me Tando Adjustable Vibrator:
This little sucker isn’t so much a vibrator
as it is double-ended dildo with the big, bulbous
head of Tando MacIsaac on one end, and
Rodney MacDonald’s head on the other one.
Two heads, as they say, are better than one,
and Tando and Rodney do like to take care of all
their friends. Wireless and witless, the Tickle
Me Tando Adjustable Vibrator adjusts easily to
pensionable time. Sorry. Non-rechargeable. Tory
Blue only.
(3) The Joe Stewart Silicone Shafty:
Shafty and crafty, the Joe Stewart Silicone
Shafty is hand coloured and detailed and made
of shimmering silicone. It’s goliath girth will give
you hours upon hours of lasting pleasure.
26 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK SEPTEMBER 28, 2010
JUST NOT SO STORIES
(YES, WE MAKE THEM UP)
IN LIGHT OF THE GRAND OPENING OF THE LITTLE VATICAN’S FIRST EVER SEX SHOP,
I AM OBLIGATED TO JOIN IN THE CELEBRATION BY INTRODUCING MY VERY OWN LINE OF:
ANTIGONISH CELEBRITY VIBRATORS!!!
Equally enjoyable are the savings. If running
from the taxman is a fetish you’ve somehow
developed over the years, well, not to worry.
The Joe Stewart Silicone Shafty is totally tax
free, all year ‘round, year after year, after year,
after year.
(4) The Collie “Herman” Chisholm Memorial
Vibrator: Always well lubricated you
never know where this grand fellow is going to
show up. Easy escalation. Very effective once
in the grove.
(5) The Sean Riley Ladybug Teaser: Built
for the user who craves power, the Sean Riley
Ladybug Teaser comes with one arbitrary
speed. Not very bendable. Always changing
attachments. May or may not have its own
Facebook page.
(6) The Bobby “Daz” Chisholm Vibrator:
High density, real dense, the Bobby “Daz”
Chisholm Vibrator is waterproof but not Ernie
Fage proof. Dishwater-safe but not very sensual.
For beginners only.
LADIES & GENTLEMEN,
YOUR LEADERS
OF TOMORROW:
As demonstrated by this
photograph taken outside
Halifax’s Split Crow Tavern at
10:30 Saturday morning,
September 11, the university
kids are settling nicely into
the rigors of first year university.
No need for any worry at
home, er, um, I think....
�Read
at your
own risk!
(7) The Jim Nunn Fun Factory Vibrator:
Molded directly from Michelangelo’s David, and
former The National anchor George MacLean,
the Jim Nunn Fun Factory Vibrator has a hard
exterior and will invariably cover all the angles.
Hands free as advertised on CBC Nova Scotia.
Can be loud, at times not terribly discrete, but
this only enhances the awareness that something
quite spectacular is going on around you.
Easily transportable. In it’s own subtle way, a
real jewel, you’ll miss it when its no longer
around. Comes in kinky magenta.
(8) The Diocese Bishop Decadent Lovebird
Vibrator: This little chubby is easy to partner
with. A real charmer. Turns various shades
at airports. But there’s no holding back on the
arousal front. It’s hypersonic pulsation will send
shockwaves through the entire diocese and all
the way to the Holy Father. Comes with its very
own big, pointy hat, which can easily be removed.
Sure to stimulate news converage and
conversation all the way to Rome.