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Dádiva e Emoção - CCHLA - Universidade Federal da Paraíba

Dádiva e Emoção - CCHLA - Universidade Federal da Paraíba

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Ana was often able to hear the reverberation of<br />

terrified voices. For example, this occurred once in the<br />

empty Schonleinstrasse underground station. She was<br />

having a pulling sensation in her arm; it seemed to me as<br />

if she were being pulled back by a strong wind, but there<br />

was no such wind; she said that the material force of the<br />

grey light was there, that she was physically in contact<br />

with it. The hundreds of citizens that used the train every<br />

morning to go to work were grey lighted, and as such,<br />

subway passengers were un-deci<strong>da</strong>ble living bodies placed<br />

ambiguously between death and life. Significantly, it could<br />

be argued that western cultures have produced their<br />

institutions and categories of life and death. As such, in<br />

rational western cosmology life and death are usually<br />

understood as a dichotomy, and both institutions need to<br />

define and map their own parameters and spaces. Ana’s<br />

faces of early subway passengers were ambivalent; these<br />

indeterminate zombies were alive but dead, dead but<br />

alive.<br />

Death is nothing to be afraid of since according to<br />

Ana, when citizens travel on the subway “we are<br />

experiencing death in our bodies, even if we are not fully<br />

aware of it”. Thus, every time one jumps on the train, one<br />

is smelling –even if one does not consciously realize –as<br />

happened to me in Schoenleinstrasse- the imprecise<br />

experience of life and death, the present and the<br />

materially immanent past of the city in one’s own body.<br />

Ana often said that this intuitive perception of an inbetween<br />

and liminal sphere had its “intense smells”. When<br />

such smells were particularly penetrating, her face would<br />

blush dramatically. A long series of husky and loud coughs<br />

would take place. Then, she would scratch her nose<br />

repeatedly.<br />

The Flutes of Marzahn<br />

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The seduction of this material energy inspired my<br />

own work by encouraging the ceaseless transmutation of<br />

self and world in living contact and sound. Spending the<br />

<strong>da</strong>y with Ana was a gift. Everything seemed to be hereright-now-within-and-through-relations<br />

with bodily or<br />

material physicality. The intriguing capacity to be in<br />

contact with that which exceeded ordinary selves was<br />

profoundly enigmatic. At the moment, Ana and I are<br />

walking around in the vast and desolated fields of<br />

Marzahn. While dragging a stick along the railway tracks,<br />

362

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