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NEWS LITERATURE POLITICS FASHION ART & CULTURE KIDS RELIGION FILMS<br />
13/09/2018<br />
21<br />
She woke up at 6am with the alarm<br />
shrilling through her mobile phone. A<br />
few minutes later, the maid walked in.<br />
She rushed to freshen herself and get<br />
ready for the pitch presentation. She<br />
gobbled her breakfast while browsing<br />
through and responding to the<br />
innumerableWhatsapp messages and<br />
mails. She dumped her lunchbox in the<br />
satchel, fetched her car keys and gulped<br />
the last sips of the lukewarm coffee. The<br />
traffic had piled up as she made her way<br />
to her office. It was 8am yet the office<br />
was abuzz with a flurry of activity.<br />
People were checking creatives, editing<br />
presentations on their laptops and rushing<br />
into cabin or huddling together. At<br />
9am, a five-member team, including<br />
Rhea made their way towards the meeting.<br />
Winning this pitch would get her a<br />
good appraisal. She had an interview<br />
with a candidate, later and some more<br />
meetings. Some of her colleagues invited<br />
her for a quick drink and she<br />
declined. The day ended at 9.30pm and<br />
she still had an hour's drive to reach<br />
home. She was aching to hit the sack.<br />
Weekends are almost similar except<br />
grocery shopping, supervising the maid<br />
on the weekly cleaning and meeting the<br />
family take up her time in between a<br />
few official calls. This is a peak into the<br />
world of many RheaAroras. She is 42<br />
and single. Not surprisingly, considering<br />
the only people she meets on an<br />
average are her office colleagues, her<br />
maid and on the rare occasions her family<br />
and a couple of friends.<br />
She is worried. She has spent most of<br />
the past decades building a successful<br />
career at the expense of her personal<br />
life.<br />
"It's time I got married! I'm way past<br />
it!"<br />
"My biological clock is running<br />
faster than Usain Bolt and each day<br />
seems like the end is closer!"<br />
"Am I not good enough?Is that the<br />
reason, I remain on the shelf?"<br />
How can she meet new people?<br />
Where can she meet them? And, the<br />
quintessential question, where is the<br />
time?How does she date? These were<br />
the barrage of questions, she threw at<br />
me.<br />
I suggested, "Do what most singles<br />
seem to be doing these days."<br />
"You mean, online dating apps?They<br />
are'hook-up' sites! No, no, I'm too old<br />
for this kind of stuff"<br />
Four months later, I met<br />
Rhea.Shehad been exploring a few appsunder<br />
the 'mentorship' of her niece.<br />
She finally, beat her fearto test the<br />
Dating Apps and the 40s<br />
mysterious waters of online dating.<br />
Rheashared with me some interesting<br />
tipsandhacks to make dating fun and<br />
successful.While it was true, some of<br />
the matchesshe found, didnot always<br />
chat or meet; she discovered that there<br />
are men out there, who are actually<br />
interested in datingif you sift through<br />
the incessant stream of come-ons.<br />
I found her experience, quite intriguing<br />
and her conversation set me thinking.<br />
There are men and women in their<br />
40s seeking love and romance, who<br />
have neither the time or the opportunity<br />
to meet new people. Dating apps fulfil<br />
that need like everything instantaneous<br />
in our lives, today.<br />
Technology is changing the dating<br />
scene for those over 40, adventurous yet<br />
busy.<br />
These10 Dating App Tips<br />
may help you change<br />
your relationship status.<br />
1. Similar to dating offline. The way<br />
you don't necessarily get into a conversation<br />
with each person you<br />
meet?Or jump into bed with everyone<br />
you meetoffline, dating apps are<br />
no different. It's like being at a party<br />
and choosing who you find interesting<br />
so you can get into a conversation<br />
with. If someone doesn't match<br />
your vibe, you can ignore or move<br />
away. And, gravitate towards someone<br />
who you find interesting.<br />
The app matches are based on gender,<br />
age and proximity. The app displays<br />
the profile image of users<br />
which you can swipe right, to<br />
express your interest or swipe left if<br />
you are not interested in the profile.<br />
Only after you have swiped right on<br />
each other's profile picture, can you<br />
communicate with each other via<br />
direct messaging within the app.<br />
It's impossible to chat with someone<br />
within the app if mutual interest has<br />
not been expressed. Simple, isn't it?<br />
2. Clarity. Be clear on the goal. Why are<br />
you here? Are you here to just meet<br />
someone, go on a date or simply<br />
hook up?The app provides you an<br />
opportunity to meet a variety of people<br />
you may be keen to connect with<br />
and date.<br />
3. Patience. It takes thousands of<br />
swipes and many hours to find the<br />
match you'd like to 'right swipe'.<br />
And, the few you're inclined to meet<br />
may not even result in a date. It's<br />
labour-intensive so you'll need to<br />
wade through a cesspool of matches<br />
to meet the right one.It can be daunting,<br />
frustrating and exhausting. Don't<br />
get discouraged. Keep trying.<br />
4. Profile Story.The profile pic or the<br />
brief text below gives you a peek into<br />
the psyche of the person. What you<br />
write weighs a great deal on the risk of<br />
being left or right swiped. A pic at a<br />
holiday or in the pool or at the gym,<br />
provides an insight into your activities.<br />
5. Use photos, smartly. Use pics that are<br />
of you. By this, I don't mean those<br />
abs and other inappropriate pics.A<br />
pic with a bunch of friends is a no-no<br />
and so is a selfie. A good DP is not<br />
enough. Add a series of pics where<br />
you are doing fun things like sailing,<br />
swimming, trekking, training or seated<br />
with your cat or reading a book;<br />
these provide a peek into your hobbies<br />
or possibly likeminded interests.<br />
6. All about Bios. It's possible to give in<br />
to the temptation of hiding your age,<br />
weight, etc. It isn't a great start to a<br />
relationship.<br />
- Mention your correct age, height, your<br />
relationship status - if you have kids,<br />
say so. Honesty is the best policy.<br />
- Make your intro creative so it peaks<br />
interest and is a conversation starter.<br />
- Add a note in between the photos, it<br />
invites a conversation.<br />
- Avoid placing demands or lists of<br />
your conditions. "If you don't like<br />
dogs, swipe left!" Hey, this isn't a<br />
matrimonial site. Chill and go with<br />
the flow.<br />
7. Be active. If you don't get on to the<br />
app for ages, your profile is less likely<br />
to show up. This is because those<br />
that right swipe on your profile are<br />
not left disappointed when they don't<br />
receive a response. Therefore, being<br />
active increases your chances of a<br />
match.You're able to swipe on more<br />
peoplewhich makes youappear with<br />
more regularity and higher possibility<br />
of getting right-swiped.<br />
Updating your travel dates and cities on<br />
your profile is an effective way to<br />
find matcheseven before your plane<br />
departs.<br />
8. Swipe Smart. Don't right swipe<br />
everyone else you may seem spammy<br />
in the app algorithm. Don't left<br />
swipe everyone lest you seem too<br />
choosy and are left with a small number<br />
of relevant profiles appearing on<br />
your scroll. Read the subtext in the<br />
intros. You'll learn to spot the marrieds,<br />
the fakes and the "I-just-wantsex"types<br />
at a glance.<br />
9. Meetups. Meet at a neutral place<br />
preferably, for coffee or brunchif you<br />
are not completely sure. It will give you<br />
time to take it further in case you're<br />
interested else you can cut the 'date'<br />
short. Remember, to inform a friend or<br />
two about the date - who you're meeting<br />
and where you plan to go.<br />
- Do's and Don'ts for a meet-up.<br />
Bonding over baggage will only<br />
leave you feeling heavy. Don't fast<br />
forward things, too soon. But, don't<br />
dither, either. Do your date night<br />
right, by dating like a grown up.Don't<br />
plan a marriage on your first date or<br />
expect romance.<br />
10. Keep an open mind. Dating apps<br />
provide an alternative to meeting<br />
people. Some will be good and some<br />
won't. Enjoy the flirtatious excitement,<br />
the no pressure-meetups, the<br />
experience and the fascinating profiles.<br />
Go with your intuition and an<br />
open mind.<br />
There are millions of time-pressed<br />
mid-lifers out there.While online dating<br />
apps may seem daunting,they<br />
provide an opportunity to make<br />
meaningful connections with people,<br />
you wouldn't otherwise come across<br />
in your day-to-day life.<br />
Be positive, confident and keep it<br />
light. Use the same caution, you'd<br />
exercise while meeting people, offline.<br />
Be you and visible and you'll be surprised<br />
at the choices flooding you.<br />
Believe that there are good men and<br />
women out there and you'll meet them.<br />
Farzana Suri<br />
Victory Coach<br />
mail@farzanasuri.com<br />
www.farzanasuri.com<br />
1.5 mn to evacuate as Hurricane Florence approaches US<br />
Washington: More than 1.5 million people have<br />
been asked to evacuate their homes along the<br />
Virginia, North and South Carolina coasts as<br />
Category 5 storm Hurricane Florence approaches,<br />
an official said.<br />
It is expected to make landfall in the area later<br />
this week, Efe news reported.<br />
Hurricane Florence is packing sustained winds<br />
of 140 miles (220 km) per hour and remains an<br />
"extremely dangerous" Category 4 storm as it<br />
approaches the US eastern coastline, specifically<br />
the Carolinas.<br />
In its 5 p.m. advisory on Tuesday, the Miamibased<br />
National Hurricane Center said that the<br />
eye of Florence was located 580 km south-southwest<br />
of Bermuda and 1,260 km east-southeast of<br />
Cape Fear, North Carolina. It is likely to become<br />
a Category 5 before landfall.<br />
The NHC experts warned that "life-threatening<br />
storm surge (is) possible along the coasts of<br />
North and South Carolina".<br />
"Further strengthening is forecast tonight and<br />
Wednesday. While some weakening is expected<br />
on Thursday, Florence is forecast to be an<br />
extremely dangerous major hurricane through<br />
landfall," the NHC said.<br />
The first waves directly kicked up by the huge<br />
storm system should begin coming ashore late<br />
Wednesday. Florence was expected to bring very<br />
heavy storm surge, rain and flooding to the entire<br />
region on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.<br />
Beyond the Carolinas and Virginia, which were<br />
expected to bear the brunt of the storm, rain and<br />
flooding were expected through next week in<br />
certain parts of Tennessee, Georgia, West<br />
Virginia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Maryland and the<br />
District of Columbia.<br />
Maryland and the District of Columbia have<br />
declared states of emergency.<br />
President Donald Trump declared a state of<br />
emergency in North and South Carolina, thus<br />
facilitating federal aid to those states. He also<br />
cancelled several campaign events he had scheduled<br />
for Thursday and Friday.<br />
"The safety of the American people is my<br />
absolute highest priority. We are sparing no<br />
expense," Trump told reporters in the Oval<br />
Office after meeting with Department of<br />
Homeland Security and Federal Emergency<br />
Management Administration officials.<br />
Trump said that his administration is "ready. We<br />
are as ready as anyone has ever been", adding:<br />
"This is going to be a very large one ... It's<br />
tremendously big and tremendously wet.<br />
Tremendous amounts of water."<br />
Hurricane and storm surge warnings have been<br />
declared from South Santee River, South<br />
Carolina, to Duck, North Carolina.<br />
A hurricane watch has been placed in effect<br />
for Edisto Beach South Carolina to the North<br />
Carolina-Virginia border, and a storm surge<br />
watch is in place for the same zone.<br />
The storm surge will bring significant flooding<br />
of between 9-13 feet from Cape Fear to<br />
Cape Lookout, including the Neuse and<br />
Pamlico Rivers, 6-9 feet between North<br />
Myrtle Beach and Cape Fear, and 2-4 feet to<br />
the area between Edisto Beach and Murrells<br />
Inlet.<br />
A total of 15-20 inches of rain is expected,<br />
with isolated areas of up to 30 inches in parts<br />
of North Carolina, Virginia and the northern<br />
part of South Carolina through Saturday.<br />
So far during in 2018 Atlantic hurricane season<br />
there have been nine tropical storms, of<br />
which five -- Beryl, Chris, Helen, Isaac and<br />
Florence -- have become hurricanes.