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www.samajweekly.com<br />

NEWS LITERATURE POLITICS FASHION ART & CULTURE KIDS RELIGION FILMS<br />

13/09/2018<br />

21<br />

She woke up at 6am with the alarm<br />

shrilling through her mobile phone. A<br />

few minutes later, the maid walked in.<br />

She rushed to freshen herself and get<br />

ready for the pitch presentation. She<br />

gobbled her breakfast while browsing<br />

through and responding to the<br />

innumerableWhatsapp messages and<br />

mails. She dumped her lunchbox in the<br />

satchel, fetched her car keys and gulped<br />

the last sips of the lukewarm coffee. The<br />

traffic had piled up as she made her way<br />

to her office. It was 8am yet the office<br />

was abuzz with a flurry of activity.<br />

People were checking creatives, editing<br />

presentations on their laptops and rushing<br />

into cabin or huddling together. At<br />

9am, a five-member team, including<br />

Rhea made their way towards the meeting.<br />

Winning this pitch would get her a<br />

good appraisal. She had an interview<br />

with a candidate, later and some more<br />

meetings. Some of her colleagues invited<br />

her for a quick drink and she<br />

declined. The day ended at 9.30pm and<br />

she still had an hour's drive to reach<br />

home. She was aching to hit the sack.<br />

Weekends are almost similar except<br />

grocery shopping, supervising the maid<br />

on the weekly cleaning and meeting the<br />

family take up her time in between a<br />

few official calls. This is a peak into the<br />

world of many RheaAroras. She is 42<br />

and single. Not surprisingly, considering<br />

the only people she meets on an<br />

average are her office colleagues, her<br />

maid and on the rare occasions her family<br />

and a couple of friends.<br />

She is worried. She has spent most of<br />

the past decades building a successful<br />

career at the expense of her personal<br />

life.<br />

"It's time I got married! I'm way past<br />

it!"<br />

"My biological clock is running<br />

faster than Usain Bolt and each day<br />

seems like the end is closer!"<br />

"Am I not good enough?Is that the<br />

reason, I remain on the shelf?"<br />

How can she meet new people?<br />

Where can she meet them? And, the<br />

quintessential question, where is the<br />

time?How does she date? These were<br />

the barrage of questions, she threw at<br />

me.<br />

I suggested, "Do what most singles<br />

seem to be doing these days."<br />

"You mean, online dating apps?They<br />

are'hook-up' sites! No, no, I'm too old<br />

for this kind of stuff"<br />

Four months later, I met<br />

Rhea.Shehad been exploring a few appsunder<br />

the 'mentorship' of her niece.<br />

She finally, beat her fearto test the<br />

Dating Apps and the 40s<br />

mysterious waters of online dating.<br />

Rheashared with me some interesting<br />

tipsandhacks to make dating fun and<br />

successful.While it was true, some of<br />

the matchesshe found, didnot always<br />

chat or meet; she discovered that there<br />

are men out there, who are actually<br />

interested in datingif you sift through<br />

the incessant stream of come-ons.<br />

I found her experience, quite intriguing<br />

and her conversation set me thinking.<br />

There are men and women in their<br />

40s seeking love and romance, who<br />

have neither the time or the opportunity<br />

to meet new people. Dating apps fulfil<br />

that need like everything instantaneous<br />

in our lives, today.<br />

Technology is changing the dating<br />

scene for those over 40, adventurous yet<br />

busy.<br />

These10 Dating App Tips<br />

may help you change<br />

your relationship status.<br />

1. Similar to dating offline. The way<br />

you don't necessarily get into a conversation<br />

with each person you<br />

meet?Or jump into bed with everyone<br />

you meetoffline, dating apps are<br />

no different. It's like being at a party<br />

and choosing who you find interesting<br />

so you can get into a conversation<br />

with. If someone doesn't match<br />

your vibe, you can ignore or move<br />

away. And, gravitate towards someone<br />

who you find interesting.<br />

The app matches are based on gender,<br />

age and proximity. The app displays<br />

the profile image of users<br />

which you can swipe right, to<br />

express your interest or swipe left if<br />

you are not interested in the profile.<br />

Only after you have swiped right on<br />

each other's profile picture, can you<br />

communicate with each other via<br />

direct messaging within the app.<br />

It's impossible to chat with someone<br />

within the app if mutual interest has<br />

not been expressed. Simple, isn't it?<br />

2. Clarity. Be clear on the goal. Why are<br />

you here? Are you here to just meet<br />

someone, go on a date or simply<br />

hook up?The app provides you an<br />

opportunity to meet a variety of people<br />

you may be keen to connect with<br />

and date.<br />

3. Patience. It takes thousands of<br />

swipes and many hours to find the<br />

match you'd like to 'right swipe'.<br />

And, the few you're inclined to meet<br />

may not even result in a date. It's<br />

labour-intensive so you'll need to<br />

wade through a cesspool of matches<br />

to meet the right one.It can be daunting,<br />

frustrating and exhausting. Don't<br />

get discouraged. Keep trying.<br />

4. Profile Story.The profile pic or the<br />

brief text below gives you a peek into<br />

the psyche of the person. What you<br />

write weighs a great deal on the risk of<br />

being left or right swiped. A pic at a<br />

holiday or in the pool or at the gym,<br />

provides an insight into your activities.<br />

5. Use photos, smartly. Use pics that are<br />

of you. By this, I don't mean those<br />

abs and other inappropriate pics.A<br />

pic with a bunch of friends is a no-no<br />

and so is a selfie. A good DP is not<br />

enough. Add a series of pics where<br />

you are doing fun things like sailing,<br />

swimming, trekking, training or seated<br />

with your cat or reading a book;<br />

these provide a peek into your hobbies<br />

or possibly likeminded interests.<br />

6. All about Bios. It's possible to give in<br />

to the temptation of hiding your age,<br />

weight, etc. It isn't a great start to a<br />

relationship.<br />

- Mention your correct age, height, your<br />

relationship status - if you have kids,<br />

say so. Honesty is the best policy.<br />

- Make your intro creative so it peaks<br />

interest and is a conversation starter.<br />

- Add a note in between the photos, it<br />

invites a conversation.<br />

- Avoid placing demands or lists of<br />

your conditions. "If you don't like<br />

dogs, swipe left!" Hey, this isn't a<br />

matrimonial site. Chill and go with<br />

the flow.<br />

7. Be active. If you don't get on to the<br />

app for ages, your profile is less likely<br />

to show up. This is because those<br />

that right swipe on your profile are<br />

not left disappointed when they don't<br />

receive a response. Therefore, being<br />

active increases your chances of a<br />

match.You're able to swipe on more<br />

peoplewhich makes youappear with<br />

more regularity and higher possibility<br />

of getting right-swiped.<br />

Updating your travel dates and cities on<br />

your profile is an effective way to<br />

find matcheseven before your plane<br />

departs.<br />

8. Swipe Smart. Don't right swipe<br />

everyone else you may seem spammy<br />

in the app algorithm. Don't left<br />

swipe everyone lest you seem too<br />

choosy and are left with a small number<br />

of relevant profiles appearing on<br />

your scroll. Read the subtext in the<br />

intros. You'll learn to spot the marrieds,<br />

the fakes and the "I-just-wantsex"types<br />

at a glance.<br />

9. Meetups. Meet at a neutral place<br />

preferably, for coffee or brunchif you<br />

are not completely sure. It will give you<br />

time to take it further in case you're<br />

interested else you can cut the 'date'<br />

short. Remember, to inform a friend or<br />

two about the date - who you're meeting<br />

and where you plan to go.<br />

- Do's and Don'ts for a meet-up.<br />

Bonding over baggage will only<br />

leave you feeling heavy. Don't fast<br />

forward things, too soon. But, don't<br />

dither, either. Do your date night<br />

right, by dating like a grown up.Don't<br />

plan a marriage on your first date or<br />

expect romance.<br />

10. Keep an open mind. Dating apps<br />

provide an alternative to meeting<br />

people. Some will be good and some<br />

won't. Enjoy the flirtatious excitement,<br />

the no pressure-meetups, the<br />

experience and the fascinating profiles.<br />

Go with your intuition and an<br />

open mind.<br />

There are millions of time-pressed<br />

mid-lifers out there.While online dating<br />

apps may seem daunting,they<br />

provide an opportunity to make<br />

meaningful connections with people,<br />

you wouldn't otherwise come across<br />

in your day-to-day life.<br />

Be positive, confident and keep it<br />

light. Use the same caution, you'd<br />

exercise while meeting people, offline.<br />

Be you and visible and you'll be surprised<br />

at the choices flooding you.<br />

Believe that there are good men and<br />

women out there and you'll meet them.<br />

Farzana Suri<br />

Victory Coach<br />

mail@farzanasuri.com<br />

www.farzanasuri.com<br />

1.5 mn to evacuate as Hurricane Florence approaches US<br />

Washington: More than 1.5 million people have<br />

been asked to evacuate their homes along the<br />

Virginia, North and South Carolina coasts as<br />

Category 5 storm Hurricane Florence approaches,<br />

an official said.<br />

It is expected to make landfall in the area later<br />

this week, Efe news reported.<br />

Hurricane Florence is packing sustained winds<br />

of 140 miles (220 km) per hour and remains an<br />

"extremely dangerous" Category 4 storm as it<br />

approaches the US eastern coastline, specifically<br />

the Carolinas.<br />

In its 5 p.m. advisory on Tuesday, the Miamibased<br />

National Hurricane Center said that the<br />

eye of Florence was located 580 km south-southwest<br />

of Bermuda and 1,260 km east-southeast of<br />

Cape Fear, North Carolina. It is likely to become<br />

a Category 5 before landfall.<br />

The NHC experts warned that "life-threatening<br />

storm surge (is) possible along the coasts of<br />

North and South Carolina".<br />

"Further strengthening is forecast tonight and<br />

Wednesday. While some weakening is expected<br />

on Thursday, Florence is forecast to be an<br />

extremely dangerous major hurricane through<br />

landfall," the NHC said.<br />

The first waves directly kicked up by the huge<br />

storm system should begin coming ashore late<br />

Wednesday. Florence was expected to bring very<br />

heavy storm surge, rain and flooding to the entire<br />

region on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.<br />

Beyond the Carolinas and Virginia, which were<br />

expected to bear the brunt of the storm, rain and<br />

flooding were expected through next week in<br />

certain parts of Tennessee, Georgia, West<br />

Virginia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Maryland and the<br />

District of Columbia.<br />

Maryland and the District of Columbia have<br />

declared states of emergency.<br />

President Donald Trump declared a state of<br />

emergency in North and South Carolina, thus<br />

facilitating federal aid to those states. He also<br />

cancelled several campaign events he had scheduled<br />

for Thursday and Friday.<br />

"The safety of the American people is my<br />

absolute highest priority. We are sparing no<br />

expense," Trump told reporters in the Oval<br />

Office after meeting with Department of<br />

Homeland Security and Federal Emergency<br />

Management Administration officials.<br />

Trump said that his administration is "ready. We<br />

are as ready as anyone has ever been", adding:<br />

"This is going to be a very large one ... It's<br />

tremendously big and tremendously wet.<br />

Tremendous amounts of water."<br />

Hurricane and storm surge warnings have been<br />

declared from South Santee River, South<br />

Carolina, to Duck, North Carolina.<br />

A hurricane watch has been placed in effect<br />

for Edisto Beach South Carolina to the North<br />

Carolina-Virginia border, and a storm surge<br />

watch is in place for the same zone.<br />

The storm surge will bring significant flooding<br />

of between 9-13 feet from Cape Fear to<br />

Cape Lookout, including the Neuse and<br />

Pamlico Rivers, 6-9 feet between North<br />

Myrtle Beach and Cape Fear, and 2-4 feet to<br />

the area between Edisto Beach and Murrells<br />

Inlet.<br />

A total of 15-20 inches of rain is expected,<br />

with isolated areas of up to 30 inches in parts<br />

of North Carolina, Virginia and the northern<br />

part of South Carolina through Saturday.<br />

So far during in 2018 Atlantic hurricane season<br />

there have been nine tropical storms, of<br />

which five -- Beryl, Chris, Helen, Isaac and<br />

Florence -- have become hurricanes.

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