A Man on FIRE - Super Raw Life Magazine

Father’s Role
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Father’s Role as Support Giver to His Wife and Children
by Karen Ranzi, M.A., CCC-SLP
www.superhealthychildren.com
www.facebook.com/CreatingHealthyChildren
Spousal support is of major importance to parents choosing a raw pregnancy, home birth, and to raise
children in the raw foods lifestyle. A relaxed, happy and supportive relationship is one of the most
important aspects for a successful pregnancy and childbirth, and for a happy and healthy family life.
The father’s care has a great influence on the mother’s wellbeing. When parents differ in their belief
systems in these areas, much stress and anxiety can result. It is crucial that parents-to-be discuss their
plans for pregnancy, childbirth and raising children, so both are on the same page in these areas.
Fathers, who help in preparing meals, and show care for mother and baby, help to create a healthy
family. The maternal instinct is very strong, and mothers who are respected in their attachment to their
babies will feel happy, relaxed and loved. <strong>Man</strong>y men in contemporary North American culture expect
women to go back to work soon after birthing. Women who stay home in the United States to raise
their children are often looked upon as “doing nothing” because they’re not contributing to the family
income. This is in sharp contrast to the Swedish policy of giving mothers eight years of salary to stay
home to raise their children. In the long run, this has shown to be the most positive investment in the
country’s future. Men are not left out. They have the option of receiving up to two years of 90% of their
salary for staying home to raise their children.
Men who decide to set their priorities toward the happiness of wife and children, supporting the
mother’s instinct to remain close to her children as they grow, will enjoy the close relationships
attachment parenting brings. In order to have a loving family experience, patience and understanding
on the part of both parents are paramount. Parents who focus on the small details of life, such as a
messy house, will deny their families a loving, calm and relaxing environment that is so important to
the health and security of growing children.
Often, fathers who work during the day have a limited amount of time with their children. The family
bed is a wonderful way for fathers to extend the quality of time they share with the family. <strong>Man</strong>y
families are able to work out arrangements with king-size beds, or mattresses and futons lined up on
the floor, so everyone, including father, gets enough sleep. One of the many benefits of the family bed
is that it helps fathers who are away from home all day to establish close bonds with their babies. As far
as the marital relationship, the mother and father will need to be creative in finding their time together,
such as when the children are napping, or when the children are fast asleep at night.
Boys, in particular, are expected to grow up very quickly and make an early separation from their
mothers. Parents would benefit from taking a step back from what is considered “normal” in society,
and meditate on their own beliefs and intuitions about the values that will best serve their children
and family. Inner peace and confidence will give strength to live happily in the midst of others who
are in disagreement with your style of parenting and choice of diet. At a time when some parents
were telling me I was too attached to my son, I read a book called The Courage to Raise Good Men
by Olga Silverstein. I learned so clearly that my intuitions
as a mother were important and that I should listen to
them and keep my little boy close to me, whereas so many
mothers force early separation between themselves and
their sons.
According to the American Psychological Association,
“Psychological research across families from all ethnic
backgrounds suggests that fathers’ affection and increased
family involvement help promote children’s social and
emotional development. As the modern day father comes
in various forms, he is no longer always the traditional
married breadwinner and disciplinarian in the family.”
Modern day fathers play a much greater role in caregiving.
A study conducted by the National Institute of Child
Health and Human Development (NICHD) found that
fathers were more involved with their children when
they worked fewer hours and were well-adjusted people
themselves. Other research showed a father’s love helps
children develop a sense of their place in the world,
which assists with their social, emotional and cognitive
development and functioning. “Children who receive
more love from their fathers are less likely to struggle
with behavioral or substance abuse problems.”
Ranzi, Karen. Creating Healthy Children: Through
Attachment Parenting and Raw Foods. Ramsey, NJ:
Super Healthy Children Publishing, 2010.
Silverstein, Olga. The Courage to Raise Good Men. New
York, NY: Viking Press, 1994.
To sign up for Karen’s free monthly newsletter, go to
www.superhealthychildren.com.
Issue #7 Winter 2012 SuperRawLife.com