THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL : THE DEFINITIVE EDITION ... - Fidele

That was the nicest thing he said all evening. He also told me that he didn't mind
my coming to his room the way he used to; in fact, he liked it. I also told him
that all of Father's and Mother's pet names were meaningless, that a kiss here and
there didn't automatically lead to trust. We also talked about doing things your
own way, the diary, loneliness, the difference between everyone's inner and outer
selves, my mask, etc.
It was wonderful. He must have come to love me as a friend, and, for the time
being, that's enough. I'm so grateful and happy, I can't find the words. I must
apolo- gize, Kitty, since my style is not up to my usual standard today. I've just
written whatever came into my head!
I have the feeling that Peter and I share a secret. Whenever he looks at me with
those eyes, with that smile and that wink, it's as if a light goes on inside me. I
hope things will stay like this and that we'll have many, many more happy hours
together.
Your grateful and happy Anne
MONDAY, MARCH 20, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
This morning Peter asked me if I'd come again one evening. He swore I wouldn't be
disturbing him, and said that where there was room for one, there was room for
two. I said I couldn't see him every evening, since my parents didn't think it was
a good idea, but he thought I shouldn't let that bother me. So I told him I'd like
to come some Saturday evening and also asked him if he'd let me know when you
could see the moon.
"Sure," he said, "maybe we can go downstairs and look at the moon from there." I
agreed; I'm not really so scared of burglars.
In the meantime, a shadow has fallen on my happiness. For a long time I've had the
feeling that Margot likes Peter. Just how much I don't know, but the whole
situation is very unpleasant. Now every time I go see Peter I'm hurting her,
without meaning to. The funny thing is that she hardly lets it show. I know I'd be
insanely jealous, but Margot just says I shouldn't feel sorry for her.
"I think it's so awful that you've become the odd one out," I added.
"I'm used to that," she replied, somewhat bitterly.
I don't dare tell Peter. Maybe later on, but he and I need to discuss so many
other things first.
Mother slapped me last night, which I deserved. I mustn't carry my indifference
and contempt for her too far. In spite of everything, I should try once again to
be friendly and keep my remarks to myself!
Even Pim isn't as nice as he used to be. He's been trying not to treat me like a
child, but now he's much too cold. We'll just have to see what comes of it! He's
warned me that if I don't do my algebra, I won't get any tutoring after the war. I
could simply wait and see what happens, but I'd like to start again, provided I
get a new book.
That's enough for now. I do nothing but gaze at Peter, and I'm filled to
overflowing!