THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL : THE DEFINITIVE EDITION ... - Fidele

questions and laughter. I have to act normally and hope they don't notice
anything.
My heart is still too tender to be able to recover so quickly from a shock like
the one I had last night. The gentle Anne makes infrequent appearances, and she's
not about to let herself be shoved out the door so soon after she's arrived.
Peter's reached a part of me that no one has ever reached before, except in my
dream! He's taken hold of me and turned me inside out. Doesn't everyone need a
little quiet time to put themselves to rights again? Oh, Peter, what have you done
to me? What do you want from me?
Where will this lead? Oh, now I understand Bep. Now, now that I'm going through it
myself, I understand her doubts; if I were older and he wanted to marry me, what
would my answer be? Anne, be honest! You wouldn't be able to marry him. But it's
so hard to let go. Peter still has too little character, too little willpower, too
little courage and strength. He's still a child, emotionally no older than I am;
all he wants is happiness and peace of mind. Am I really only fourteen? Am I
really just a silly schoolgirl? Am I really so inexperienced in everything? I have
more experience than most; I've experienced something almost no one my age ever
has.
I'm afraid of myself, afraid my longing is making me yield too soon. How can it
ever go right with other boys later on? Oh, it's so hard, the eternal struggle
between heart and mind. There's a time and a place for both, but how can I be sure
that I've chosen the right time?
Yours, Anne M. Frank
TUESDAY, MAY 2, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
Saturday night I asked Peter whether he thinks I should tell Father about us.
After we'd discussed it, he said he thought I should. I was glad; it shows he's
sensible, and sensitive. As soon as I came downstairs, I went with Father to get
some water. While we were on the stairs, I said, "Father, I'm sure you've gathered
that when Peter and I are together, we don't exactly sit at opposite ends of the
room. Do you think that's wrong?"
Father paused before answering: "No, I don't think it's wrong. But Anne, when
you're living so close together, as we do, you have to be careful." He said some
other words to that effect, and then we went upstairs.
Sunday morning he called me to him and said, "Anne, I've been thinking about what
you said." (Oh, oh, I knew what was coming!) "Here in the Annex it's not such a
good idea. I thought you were just friends. Is Peter in love with you?"
"Of course not," I answered.
"Well, you know I understand both of you. But you must be the one to show
restraint; don't go upstairs so often, don't encourage him more than you can help.
In matters like these, it's always the man who takes the active role, and it's up
to the woman to set the limits. Outside, where you're free, things are quite
different. You see other boys and girls, you can go outdoors, take part in sports
and all kinds of activities. But here, if you're together too much and want to get
away, you can't. You see each other every hour of the day-all the time, in fact.
Be careful, Anne, and don't take it too seriously!