THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL : THE DEFINITIVE EDITION ... - Fidele

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makes me want to start all over again. I never broach the subjects I long to bring out into the open. I forced Peter, more than he realizes, to get close to me, and now he's holding on for dear life. I honestly don't see any effective way of shaking him off and getting him back on his own two feet. I soon realized he could never be a kindred spirit, but still tried to help him break out of his narrow world and expand his youthful horizons. "Deep down, the young are lonelier than the old." I read this in a book somewhere and it's stuck in my mind. As far as I can tell, it's true. So if you're wondering whether it's harder for the adults here than for the children, the answer is no, it's certainly not. Older people have an opinion about everything and are sure of themselves and their actions. It's twice as hard for us young people to hold on to our opinions at a time when ideals are being shattered and destroyed, when the worst side of human nature predominates, when everyone has come to doubt truth, justice and God. Anyone who claims that the older folks have a more difficult time in the Annex doesn't realize that the problems have a far greater impact on us. We're much too young to deal with these problems, but they keep thrusting themselves on us until, finally, we're forced to think up a solution, though most of the time our solutions crumble when faced with the facts. It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart. It's utterly impossible for me to build my life on a foundation of chaos, suffering and death. I see the world being slowly transformed into a wilderness, I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquthty will return once more. In the meantime, I must hold on to my ideals. Perhaps the day will come when I'll be able to realize them! Yours, Anne M. Frank FRIDAY, JULY 21, 1944 Dearest Kitty, I'm finally getting optimistic. Now, at last, things are going well! They really are! Great news! An assassination attempt has been made on Hitler's life, and for once not by Jewish Communists or English capitalists, but by a German general who's not only a count, but young as well. The Fuhrer owes his life to "Divine Providence": he escaped, unfortunately, with only a few minor burns and scratches. A number of the officers and generals who were nearby were killed or wounded. The head of the conspiracy has been shot. This is the best proof we've had so far that many officers and generals are fed up with the war and would like to see Hitler sink into a bottomless pit, so they can establish a mthtary dictatorship, make peace with the Allies, rearm themselves and, after a few decades, start a new war. Perhaps Providence is deliberately biding its time getting rid of Hider, since it's much easier, and cheaper, for the Allies to let the impeccable Germans kill each other off. It's less work for the Russians and the British, and it allows them to start rebuilding their own cities all that much sooner. But we haven't reached that point yet, and I'd hate to anticipate the glorious event. Still, you've probably noticed that I'm telling the
truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. For once, I'm not rattling on about high ideals. Furthermore, Hitler has been so kind as to announce to his loyal, devoted people that as of today all mthtary personnel are under orders of the Gestapo, and that any soldier who knows that one of his superiors was involved in this cowardly attempt on the Fuhrer's life may shoot him on sight! A fine kettle of fish that will be. Little Johnny's feet are sore after a long march and his commanding officer bawls him out. Johnny grabs his rifle, shouts, "You, you tried to kill the Fuhrer. Take that!" One shot, and the snooty officer who dared to reprimand him passes into eternal life (or is it eternal death?). Eventually, every time an officer sees a soldier or gives an order, he'll be practically wetting his pants, because the soldiers have more say-so than he does. Were you able to follow that, or have I been skipping from one subject to another again? I can't help it, the prospect of going back to school in October is making me too happy to be logical! Oh dear, didn't I just get through telling you I didn't want to anticipate events? Forgive me, Kitty, they don't call me a bundle of contradictions for nothing! Yours, Anne M. Frank TUESDAY, AUGUST 1, 1944 Dearest Kitty, "A bundle of contradictions" was the end of my previous letter and is the beginning of this one. Can you please tell me exactly what "a bundle of contradictions" is? What does "contradiction" mean? Like so many words, it can be interpreted in two ways: a contradiction imposed from without and one imposed from within. The former means not accepting other people's opinions, always knowing best, having the last word; in short, all those unpleasant traits for which I'm known. The latter, for which I'm not known, is my own secret. As I've told you many times, I'm split in two. One side contains my exuberant cheerfulness, my flippancy, my joy in life and, above all, my abthty to appreciate the lighter side of things. By that I mean not finding anything wrong with flirtations, a kiss, an embrace, an off-color joke. This side of me is usually lying in wait to ambush the other one, which is much purer, deeper and finer. No one knows Anne's better side, and that's why most people can't stand me. Oh, I can be an amusing clown for an afternoon, but after that everyone's had enough of me to last a month. Actually, I'm what a romantic movie is to a profound thinker -- a mere diversion, a comic interlude, something that is soon forgotten: not bad, but not particularly good either. I hate haVing to tell you this, but why shouldn't I admit it when I know it's true? My lighter, more superficial side will always steal a march on the deeper side and therefore always win. You can't imagine how often I've tried to p:ush away this Anne, which is only half of what is known as Anne-to beat her down, hide her. But it doesn't work, and I know why. I'm afraid that people who know me as I usually am will discover I have another side, a better and finer side. I'm afraid they'll mock me, think I'm ridiculous and sentimental and not take me seriously. I'm used to not being taken seriously, but only the "lighthearted" Anne is used to it and can put up with it; the "deeper" Anne is too weak. If I force the good Anne into the spotlight for even fifteen minutes, she shuts up like a clam the moment she's called upon to speak, and lets Anne number one do the talking. Before I realize it, she's disappeared.
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THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL : THE DEF
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In this edition, the helpers are no
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Henny Mets is a nice girl with a ch
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My father, the most adorable father
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pages Mr. Keesing had assigned me a
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"Now my grandmother wants me to see
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Dearest Kitty, It seems like years
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whom were told anything. Here's a d
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on the radio. I was so scared someo
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off the table. Suddenly I saw a not
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You see, Mrs. van Daan, Mother Said
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"Hey, Anne, can't I even take a pee
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van Daans, especially Mrs. van Daan
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fishwife. It was a joy to behold. I
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Bye-bye, Anne SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3,
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murdered. The English radio says th
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fuse box was at the rear of the dar
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just a coincidence that Father and
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To provide ourselves with a source
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Dispossessed Persons Open all year
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I get frightened myself when I thin
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you. I received a Kewpie doll, Fath
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gone to fat from eating potatoes, d
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Everyone thinks I'm showing off whe
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Dearest Kitty, Mrs. van D. has a ne
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Our evening serving of bread has be
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office were neatly grouped around t
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about if I listen to your prayers t
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lived in such comfortable circumsta
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"We've got experience! Take it from
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someone who's cooped up. Our only d
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of sugar, our entire allotment. It
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and the hope that the war will be o
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kept during the day. In the next ro
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look at him long, because the time
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Everywhere I go, upstairs or down,
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Five-thirty. Bep's arrival signals
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eing too optimistic. The British ha
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to have to part with her fur coat.
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If I'm engrossed in a book, I have
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the occasion, but Mrs. van Daan, wh
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Most of the time the tickle refused
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us. Anne WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 29, 19
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keep a secret, no matter what happe
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It's funny, but I often have such v
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I think Mother believes that Margot
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I think it's horrible that you can'
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time he'd finished, I felt so much
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unselfish people do, risking their
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Our provisions are holding out fair
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Dearest Kitty, The sun is shining,
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"I did my best, but I couldn't find
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It's Saturday again, and that shoul
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P.S. Thoughts: To Peter. We've been
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P.S. We'd be delighted if you could
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Yours, Anne M. Frank FRIDAY, MARCH
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on the outside! Who will be the fir
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Yours, Anne M. Frank WEDNESDAY, MAR
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Yesterday afternoon I was so worn o
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with green peas, yesterday he had t
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I've told you more about myself and
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That was the nicest thing he said a
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However, as you wrote, I do think o
Page 127 and 128: could understand how he must have f
Page 129 and 130: you further and also makes you feel
Page 131 and 132: Yours, Anne TUESDAY, MARCH 28, 1944
Page 133 and 134: oard, the police, the officials-the
Page 135 and 136: Peter filled my days, nothing but P
Page 137 and 138: "That sounds fishy," I said to Marg
Page 139 and 140: comforted Mrs. van Daan, who was ve
Page 141 and 142: "We've been saved, keep on saving u
Page 143 and 144: drooling. Miep immediately picked h
Page 145 and 146: sounds of a break-in again. It must
Page 147 and 148: celebrate your birthday when you've
Page 149 and 150: questions and laughter. I have to a
Page 151 and 152: Yours, Anne M. Frank WEDNESDAY, MAY
Page 153 and 154: Dearest Kitty, Last night before di
Page 155 and 156: Miep drank ten schnapps and smoked
Page 157 and 158: Poor Mouschi! How were you to know
Page 159 and 160: And now something else. You've know
Page 161 and 162: Mr. Frank. Is learning English (Dic
Page 163 and 164: circles where once it would have be
Page 165 and 166: us, but they're able to put the Ann
Page 167 and 168: has a cold. Dussel caught with brew
Page 169 and 170: with music and the other arts are m
Page 171 and 172: struggled to keep my eyes open unti
Page 173 and 174: The mood has changed, everything's
Page 175 and 176: Yours, Anne M. Frank SATURDAY, JULY
Page 177: But I've talked about these things
Page 181 and 182: Miep Santrouschitz Gies is still li
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